losing a child, spouse or equivalent, when do you go back to normal?

Question

Losing anybody is a trial of strenght but it is part of life. when is it normal to get on with life

Answer 1

When you lose someone you love, life is never the same, but life must go on.You must wake up, eat, shop, etc,, but that sense of loss is always there. There is a void. I lost my father, mother, and brother in a 5 year time span. It's true what they say, that your heart can actually hurt. But time does help heal the pain. Still have the moments of sadness, especially on holidays or the anniversaries of their death, but in the same sense, I smile at the memories. As long as I think of them, they are never gone, They are with me always, not physically, but in my heart. And I go on with my life, as we all must. Take the time to mourn. Now is the time for family and friends support. But if you find the thought of life unbearable, that is the time to seek some professional or spiritual counsel. I wish you well.

Answer 2

I've read that the average time to grieve for a partner is two years, but obviously some people go longer or shorter. It's all down to the individual.
With a child, I guess it would be longer, but thankfully I don't have any experience of it in my family.
A friend of mine lost a child in a road accident and he grieved for quite a long time, but copes better now. I'm sure he still hurts but he deals with everyday life ok now.
I suppose the bottom line is the right time to stop grieving is when it feels right to the person in question.

Answer 3

Losing someone close and who you love dearly is a traumatic experience and I am sure those who have never experienced this will not be able to answer you.
It is something that you learn to get used to but you never 'get over it' or back to normal. It is usually bubbling away just under the surface ready to reappear when you are least expecting it to.
In my experience even if the person was old when they died does not make it any easier, it is something that you learn to cope with. Just try to get on with your life and enjoy it as much as you can, and accept the unexpected tears when they appear. They will get fewer and further between but the love you feel for your lost one will grow and grow.

Answer 4

You should try to get back to your usual routine as soon as possible but it's hard to tell how long it will take before you will actually feel like you can move on. Each person is different. Even the loss of a family pet can hit you really hard. It's better to get on with life and keep your spirits up, even though you may not feel like it. Good luck.

Answer 5

lost my baby boy 8 months ago.
you never really get back to normal, it just gets a little easier with time, you still think about that person, what they would have been like, you sometimes cry over things that to others seem silly. I was told grief is like a circle you are forever taken back to the point when the loss was new. I know people who lost babies even years ago and still think of them to this day. I don't know what normal is...if you mean functioning and doing daily tasks cooking school run etc, well i was doing those within 2 weeks after his death, i had other kids to live for. I still think of him sometimes, I allow myself to have a little cry in private then get on with things. that to me is normal in a society where grieving openly for a dead baby is frowned upon......

Answer 6

It's a difficult one. I always think that it depends who the loved one is - if it is someone old then I think you have to accept that we are all going to die and if someone lives to a ripe old age, they have had a good innings so to speak. Obviously, you will miss them etc. As an example, my best friend lost her son when he was three years old - she will never get over his death but has put her life back together again. She has recently lost her mum but is coping very well and much differently from losing her son. It is hard for me to comment on as luckily, I have never lost anyone close to me which is incredibly lucky.

Answer 7

Scars can last as long as you want them too. But takes you in person to come to terms with ur present situation, Even if it means so much pains just try and be strong and positive. I know frm expirience im 23 and i lost my mom a year back it was hard for me to cope cos she was my only hope i neva thought il survive another day but here i am today strong little gal.

Answer 8

My wife & I lost a grandaughter this last March in a fire!! She spent most of her life at our house, and was more like r child, than a grandchild! Its been 7 months, and I still miss her every day, look for her to just walk in, but that can't happen! I even lost a job, just couldn't keep it together!! I am doing much better, but wife struggles hard!! But we must keep going on, we've got 11 other grandkids who love and need us!! mgb&good luck

Answer 9

grieving period is different for everyone, i mean some people repress their emotions and tend to focus on something else to blot it out. it can then take years instead of months to get over it. Im just saying really its traumatic to lose anyone, someone so close to you passing by and you thought you were going to see them tomorrow and then you find out they're gone forever. You cant wish death on anyone, its inevitable though we all will die, we just have to be strong and supportive within the family and get through it together. Your workplace will give you time off work to cope and doctors can prescribe tablets. Its just different for everyone in different circumstances.

Answer 10

I lost my mom a year ago and going back to normal is different for everyone. I am still looking for what is normal, I am having a hard time with it, but then agian i am also 21