he is an old boyfriend from the past back when i was 15 years old. he has ask me to move in with him
2007-10-23 10:45:28 · 34 answers · asked by texas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So what is the real question... are you asking if you should move in with him....or are you asking if this affair is something you should be doing? I can answer both with a definitive NO. Four years with a married man... that is unfair to all of you. It is unfair to him for putting himself in an awkward and unfaithful spot, to you for waiting around for four years and yet he is still married, but mostly for his wife... who theoretically does not know he is having an affair and she is being cheated on.
Actually...she must know about the affair. Where was he planning on having you stay? In the guest bedroom... or between the two of them in their bed? Get out now and salvage your dignity!
2007-10-23 10:54:28 · answer #1 · answered by Kim 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know you are not going to want to hear this, as you are clearly into the guy and you have a history. However I think it needs to be said. First of all you are having an affair. What does that say for your relationship and its future? An affair implies deciet and indecision. If he knows he wants to be with you then he would tell his wife end it with her and then that would allow him to focus on your relationship and let his wife go so she can move on with her life. That is simply being fair to everyone involved. Second if you have both willingly gone into a relationship knowing their is another party involved what happens next? So at best (for you) he leaves his wife and moves in with you. What then? The relationship settles into the ordinary and you will always think can I really trust him? Can I really trust myself? Trust is a major thing and whilst an affair can have its seeming appeal reality will set in and then where does that leave you?
Just a few thoughts to take away with you. I really hope you find happiness, but I think you know that at the very least you have complicated a relationship that might have started out with the best of intentions!
2007-10-23 11:00:24 · answer #2 · answered by waggy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may have asked you to move in with him but is he ready to commit to you and end his marriage? Or are you just making it easy for him to have an extramarital affair without thinking about the people who may be hurt by this. If this guy is really serious about spending his life with you he would have made things official with his wife and committed to you within the last four years. So the question of significance is - Do you want to continue to be a thing on the side?? - because he is still with his wife and not you. That should be the big clue! I wish you the best.
2007-10-23 10:53:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How do you move in with a married man? He must be separated? I'd hold off till the divorce is over and the dust has settled. What you could find yourself in the middle of, is him needing some company while he's having a rough time. Next thing you'll find is he just got out of one marriage and don't really want to be tied down yet. Give him some time Good Luck
2007-10-23 10:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The love of your life has been married to someone else for 4years. Now how is it that you can honestly say that you will be able to trust him. Do yourself a favor & move on from this guy. You & I both know that you deserve better then this.
2007-10-23 11:15:47 · answer #5 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are asking for trouble.
This man is not for you, he is taken by an other woman.
Besides you remember him as the boyfriend that he was when you were 15. You are trying to resurrect the old feeling of your youth. Put them to rest and put him out of your mind and say to yourself that it is over and done with. Look for some unattached with whom you can have a happy and married future.
Let the past be the past and look on forward to the future.
2007-10-23 10:57:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The key to this question is "married man"... what part of that don't you understand? Moving in with him? As what? Maid or second wife? By the way, last time I checked polygamy was still illegal in the US, unless of course you are a Mormon and live in Utah.
2007-10-23 10:54:23 · answer #7 · answered by nsecurenold 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt degrade myself that low to be the other woman. You need to get out of this 4 yr relationship. You cant justify what you did in the past but move on. If he was divorced then you could be with him. Of course, he will probably do the same to you.
2007-10-23 10:57:45 · answer #8 · answered by cocoa 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're settling. If he loves you and wants to live with you then make him get a divorce (no excuses) before you agree.
No good can come from being married and having a relationship with someone else.
2007-10-23 10:50:05 · answer #9 · answered by Lanie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How do you move in with him when he is married? Do you not value yourself enough to want a man who only "has eyes for you"? Stop getting into dead end relationships and focus on yourselft for a while.
2007-10-23 10:50:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋