I'm an absolute idiot for getting emotionally involved with a married man, but I am in this deep!! I am married too. He is my ex from many years ago. We e-mail each other a few times each week, but lately his e-mails have been coming less often. Is this a sign that he wants this to end? I hope it just means that he's been busy with work because I would be just devastated if this ends. I love him so much. It's making me crazy not seeing his name in my inbox.
2007-10-23 10:25:09 · 24 answers · asked by J Mack 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
STOP!!! Your married! What if your husband was doing the same thing you were doing? How would you feel? Do you even care about your husband any more? Having an emotional affair is the worst kind. You should send him one last goodbye email and end it right there. Figure out what is missing from your marriage that you found in this other guy and try to fix the problem. You took vows and right now you are betraying your husband. Do what is right and spend more time making your marriage work!!
2007-10-23 10:33:09 · answer #1 · answered by That Special Someone 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It depends on how you want to look at it… if you’re feeling guilty because you feel like your doing something wrong… then you have more problems then just these e-mails. You’re more then likely having problems with your marriage. So if that’s the case you need to figure out if your marriage is worth saving.
If it’s the thrill that someone is taking an interest in you… that is human nature… and most of these comments I’ve read here are full of it. It’s funny how most of these people try to give advice about marriage, and they aren’t even married.
If someone pays attention to you… it is flattering. Sometimes in a marriage people just don’t communicate like they should. It doesn’t mean they don’t love each other, it just means they just assume the other person knows and they don’t have to say.
And if this is the case… you might want to go to your husband, use this as a wake-up call and work on what you have before you don’t have a marriage to work on.
And if you are wondering where I’m getting my comments. I am the husband in this type situation. My wife told me about a guy she knew before we were married, the story is very much like what you described. We worked things out, but I can see from her point of view how it is flattering to have someone pay attention to you. Even if your married… people get comfortable, and forget the little things you do everyday make a difference to the other person. Or the lack of the little things.
So what you have to figure out is what you think you have with this guy your e-mailing, worth giving up what you have with your husband.
2007-10-23 17:54:27 · answer #2 · answered by kib_edward 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to think about where you want this to go. Do you want to talk to him on the phone? Do you want to see him? You are entering very dangerous territory here. He is probably very aware of that also and is seriously thinking about what to do next. If you are truly emotionally involved with each other, there are so many things to consider - like the possibility that you could hurt other innocent people as well as each other. What about your husband and his wife? If he's as emotionally invovled as you seem to be, he may already be considering this. Prepare yourself for some rough times ahead - whether you hear from him or not.
2007-10-23 19:25:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you already know the answer to this question. Are you asking if the "other" guy wants to end this or are you asking for help on how to get out of this affair? It sounds like you are waiting for your queues on how to behave by what he is doing, not by what you should know is right or wrong.
If you are in love with another man, this is not fair to your husband. You need to decide if you want to be married and if you do you must stop this silly affair NOW.
2007-10-23 17:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by amy 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
oh you shouldnt feel that way. think about your marriage. do you love your husband as much? are things ok between you two? if yes, then you need to end the emotional affair with your ex. for all you know, he could be happily married and he's just having fun with you. dont put your marriage on the rocks for this guy.
about the whole email thing, try to preoccupy yourself with other things. do more work, talk to friends, talk to you husband. try not to think about your ex. trust me, a week goes by, you will probably feel different about him and look back and think...."what the hell was a doing". you are just going through a phase.
AGAIN. stop contact with him. dont ruin your family, or his.
good luck
2007-10-23 17:35:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Would you feel happy if you learned that your new husband had a new woman on the side? Oh, and suppose they used to be married. Sounds like a marriage on the rocks if you are at all interested in anyone other than your wonderful hubby.
2007-10-23 17:45:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You really need to grow up....tell this guy good-bye and connect with your husband again.
This is serious and don't kid yourself....you're having an affair and it's just one step before it becomes sexual.
Get some counseling for yourself to find out why you got yourself in this mess.
Remember if you can't tell you husband about this that makes you a liar and a cheater....hard words but it's the truth.
2007-10-23 17:34:12 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well it seems like you shouldnt be married then if you are sooo in love with this other man. You are hurting 2 families here. End this fling and go back to your married life.
2007-10-23 17:38:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to leave behind both men, I think. Obviously you clearly do not love your husband enough to reach out to your EX through email behind your husbands back. Also, you should come clean.
2007-10-23 18:02:41 · answer #9 · answered by asturiasangel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he is thinking "this is wrong" and you should think the same. its either that or wait till the poop hits the fan.
You must ask yourself. if you leave your husband, how do you know he will leave his wife. you can no expect a person to pack up their lives and move to another one.
if you by chance ever get to be together and live though the ugly mess of divorcing.... how do you know he wont do the same to you?
Do you have kids? does he have kids... is this worth it?
2007-10-23 17:30:43 · answer #10 · answered by シ Pete 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋