I have told him I will only wait around until the end of the year...and that is around the corner...I really love him and knows he loves me...but what do I do?
2007-10-23 10:09:51 · 26 answers · asked by hsweety 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is s cheater and a liar !!! Dump him. I can bet on it, he ain't gonna leave his wife for you.
Typical argument.... separated but unhappy.. come on, you're smarter than that.
He is banging her and banging you. At least in the head.
Let go of this dysfunctional relationship and when you're ready to start a new one, be careful of those cliche guys... separated and unhappy..... cheating bastards they are.
good luck and you're worth something better
2007-10-23 10:20:42 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyes 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He loves you? Yeah, that's why he is having an affair and being an adulterer to the wife he loves. Get real dear.
Tell him to get lost and you move on. You have no right whatever to be involved with a married man and just because he is separated does not mean he isn't married.
Maybe when you learn to love and respect yourself, you will find someone who will also love and respect you. You teach people how to treat you. This guy sure doesn't love and respect you but then you've let him get away with this allllllllllllllllll these years.
Quit being a doormat. How would you feel if YOU were the wife? And if you do end up marrying him, you can bet he will do the same thing to you. Time to move on and get some counseling and then find someone who will treat you better.
2007-10-23 10:46:24 · answer #2 · answered by KittyKat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he really loved you, and wanted a life with you, he would make sure he was free so that could happen. If he's waited 8 years and still hasn't filed for divorce, I would ask him why. If he goes past the deadline, realize that what you have now, an affair with a married man, is all that he's willing to offer you.
Had a family member in the same position. Her husband refused to file, even though he had a girlfriend for 10 of the 11 years that they were separated. When he did finally go for the divorce, it was to marry a woman who wasn't the girlfriend of 10 years. So please be careful.
2007-10-23 10:20:40 · answer #3 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being separated from his ex-wife since 8 years is not the same thing as been divorced.Find out from him and see the divorce paper yourself. But its like eight your has been a long time and I don't think the man has anything in stocks for you other than paying for the services rendered - i.e. sleeping with you and giving you money etc. Did he even proposed to you at all? He might have even had enough children with the ex-wife and just trying to enjoy himself without commiting himself to any other marriage. Think very well before you make any decision. I hope you are not the one forcing him.
If nothing is coming out of the relationship other than wasting your time, live him and forge ahead. If you are staying because of the material aspect of it, you will have yourself to blame at the end.
Best of luck.
2007-10-23 10:31:59 · answer #4 · answered by Pretty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
although he has been separated for 8 years, he must still be hanging on to a part of that marriage or he would want to be with you and would have filed for divorce already. Stick to the deadline and make him file for divorce by the end of the year or move on but then make sure to get some counseling before the two of you get married and make it a long engagement to see if he stays in contact with his ex or shows signs of wishing he was still with her. It could be that he is indecisive and you may have to be the adult in a relationship so you need counseling so that you both know what you are getting into.
2007-10-23 10:21:04 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
married men who do not get divorced do that deliberately just for this reason, so no other woman can insist they marry them, cause they cant! they are still married to someone else, darn it! its time to say bye cause i dont know how old you are, but 8 years with a married man who wont divorce is 7 years too long for most people. your whole life and your freely made choices are ticking away by the minute, while he gets all he wants without doing anything. you will be writing this over and over if you dont disengage now. why did it take you 8 years to get this far, dont look back and regret your whole life, i would not personally give him one more day, i would be unavailable starting right now. this works great for him, dear, not for you.
you say he loves you, he only loves you when he does not have to do anything you want him to do. if you said, i need to be married to you would he say, oh i would like to but i need to get this divorce first, and then he does nothing, well,like i said, he loves you just fine as long as he does not have to do anything. a guy who loves you gets divorced so he does not waste your time. think about it. what do you do? heck if i know. doesnt sound like you have done too much over the past 8 years. but if it was me, starting today i would not answer my phone, i would go completely silent and unavailable. see if that makes him want to marry me, cause now he misses me. course it could mean nothing and i never see him again, but then i could move on. a man who knows he can mistreat and string along a woman forever really does not at the core have any respect for her., men marry women who insist on it, because their self respect wont let them accept anything less. has that been you?????
2007-10-23 10:25:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u already wasted 8 years of your life on a man who cheats on his wife, if he loved u he would have divorced her and married u after all this time. but even when u get him u got nothing but a cheater, who will end up doing the same to u as he has her, because he loved her once too.
2007-10-23 10:18:12 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i might say wait. What if he's merely telling you he's emotionally disconnected yet isn't. What if he somewhat isn't separated. Did he circulate out? Are there papers? i might opt to work out evidence. Married even separated men lie for all time. My sister's ex husband cheated on her. They have been nevertheless living at the same time and he might tell his lady buddy on the time that they have got been separated he develop into merely there for their daughter. He develop into nevertheless with my sister and seeing this female. Then he left my sister yet have been given returned together with her 5-6 months later. i might ask questions, ask for evidence and make useful earlier you leap into something. good success.
2016-10-04 10:59:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel even if he was divorced he still would not have married you. He sounds to fear commitment and does not want a divorce because of all the money men lose when they do. If it is a future you want, then I am afraid you will not get it from this man.
2007-10-23 10:20:52 · answer #9 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sweetie...... 8 years and no commitment>? Aren't you being a little naive this guy is using you 8 years you should be married by now.... Wake up and smell the roses..... Good luck and I wish you love... Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-10-23 10:17:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
And the reason for the hold up on the divorce is........
Don't u think ur worth more then that?? If he hasn't divorced her by now what makes u think he will later?? Don't waste no more time I know its hard and u can't help who u fall in love w/ but u need to find urself a real man that will commit to u and only u!!
2007-10-23 10:20:09 · answer #11 · answered by NONAME 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋