During the 17 yrs. he was married for a year. He just broke it off with his ex-wife about 3 months ago( they have 1 child) They were going to get remarried. He does not know, I know.He has told me he still loves me. He flirts with me, when the kids are not around. Don't know what to do.........should I just try to move on.
2007-10-23 09:42:38 · 13 answers · asked by EdPaRo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
17 years is a long, long time.
I don't know what to tell you and why he is still in your system.
Maybe the things you had to endure and the life with the kids reminds you of him all the time. But I don't know how honest he is, if he means it seriously or is only trying to play with you and keep you interested so you haven't the chance to remake an emotional existence of your own. Men can be very egoistic and selfish.
It is also normal you feel lonely and need affection, so maybe if you're strong enough to keep your emotions neutral, you might experiment with him and see where it leads to, but remember that might be a dangerous game.
good luck
2007-10-23 10:00:18 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move on and grow up! This person like yourself are no longer the same, 17 years ago is a very long time and what may seem real cute and romantic for you right now will end up being a devastating thing in the future. Figure out why you fell in love with your husband and work on your marriage which seems to be in serious trouble. Do it for your marriage and your kids if not for yourself!
2007-10-23 10:00:12 · answer #2 · answered by Singerofsongs 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It has been 17 years...odds are slim that you two will work things out after such a long period of time. You should try and move on. You need the closure from the relationship (which you clearly haven't had, since you have been in love with him all this time) before a reconciliation can be made. Counseling might aid in your progress too. Best wishes and I hope it works out for you!
2007-10-23 09:54:24 · answer #3 · answered by Kim 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They say, "never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like, will leave you for the one they love". Take this into consideration. If you are married now, I think deep deep down you are satisfied. It is simply fun to flirt. and that may be all it is. The simplicity of flirting. Being content is wonderful. Build your relationship, and let it grow. If however you are not married..... or involved...why not! All you have to loose is your heart. Is it worth having your heart broke? You figure out! Good luck. There are plenty of fish in the sea!!
2007-10-23 09:52:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you didn't say whether you are still married or the three children are his, but if he loved you he wouldn't have waited 17 years to tell you I would think unless you have been waiting 17 years for him to realize that.
If you are not currently married or in a relationship you can try to go to some counseling together and try to figure out what went wrong 17 years before that has changed to make it possible now to be together and if he is sincere he may go for that but if you are married or in a relationship it would be better to move on than to try to capture something that has been gone for 17 years.
2007-10-23 09:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your obiously a single women without any contacts. Maybe during those 17 years you always wanted him back and now hes single again then you could get him back. But is he really worth it. I think hes looking for quick sex and your pretty easy since he knows you love him Watch out dont fall back in the crack
2007-10-23 10:07:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh please, please try to move on. You have been divorced for 17 years. During this time, your ex-husband had ample time to divorce his present ex-wife and try to get back together with you, but he didn't do that. The fact that he is flirting with you now is because he is feeling alone & in need of female companionship & you likely feel "safe" & "comfortable". Examine this situation very carefully. I think you will discover that if he really, truly loved you as he says he still does, he would have shown you years ago instead of getting married to someone else, having a child with her, divorcing her & then thinking about getting remarried to her. 17 years is a LONG time for him not to have taken any action toward winning you back if he really loved you.
My sister divorced her husband many years ago. He was having an affair with another married woman. That woman divorced her own husband to marry my sister's husband. It broke my sister's heart & destroyed her family. My sister's 3 children are also grown, with children of their own even. My ex-brother-in-law & the woman he cheated with & eventually married, became Christians & begged my sister for forgiveness. She forgave them & are now friends with them. Weird, but I suppose it's better than being enemies. Anyway, it's been over 20 years since her divorce & she is STILL in love with him. She knows he will never be with her again & yet she won't stop carrying feelings for him. The sad thing is that my sister is beautiful, vibrant, bubbly, sweet, intelligent & extremely caring. She is also very talented & a great cook & has a wonderful sense of humor. She would make any man very happy. She has had a couple of men seriously interested in her, but she is throwing away her chance at happiness with a wonderful man (I know this man) because she won't let go of her love for the man who broke her heart. At least YOU admit you are still in love with your ex. My sister won't admit it, but it is obvious to all who love her. My sister's excuse for not having a relationship with another man is because she's been alone for so long that she is set in her ways & doesn't want to adjust to another person living with her. I say, bah humbug!! She is missing out on an opportunity to be truly happy by holding on to the past. The past is the past & the divorce happened for a reason. I will tell you what I tell her - please move on & set your sights on someone else, for you deserve to be happy. 17 years is a very long time to hold on to a love for someone who isn't able to return the love you offer. He might say he still loves you, but actions speak louder than words. Any man can flirt & make comments. He's had 17 years to take action to show you how he truly feels about you, & I think his lack of action toward you shows you his true feelings. He is just hurting right now, values your friendship & sees you as a safe way for romance. You deserve better than that, don't you think??
2007-10-23 09:57:13 · answer #7 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like drama. move on.
also, how can you after 17 years (not sure how much time you have spent with him during that 17 years) be still in love with him? maybe you THINK you are?
2007-10-23 09:50:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's getting married again with his ex it means he "prefer" not love her than you. he's cheating on her by you at the same time he's fooling you by her . you should detach yourself from this guy bec. he's player
2007-10-23 09:51:03 · answer #9 · answered by isla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like both of you need to get your priorties right and either be together or split.
2007-10-23 09:59:56 · answer #10 · answered by bigjuggies79 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋