I have been reflecting on my life during this time of change. There is a goal that is with in my reach but to accheive it would mean destroying my family. Every thing I have would have to be given up. My soul mate, sons and home. Since this goal would be built on so much pain, I have opted to give it up. While it is true that I have made the only decision I could, I still mourn the loss of this goal. How do I keep from becoming bitter? When I see my family, how do I keep that nagging thought in the back of my mind silent? That thought that says remember what you could have had. How do I keep sight of the pain it would have caused and not let time dull the reason for my decision? Despite the pain it would have caused, I still wanted it so much....... It makes me incredably sad to have to give it up. It was an either or situation ---no comperamise was possible. Thoughts?????
2007-10-23 09:25:52 · 9 answers · asked by Praire Crone 7 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
My first thoughts are asking what the goal was/is. None of my business, but one can't help but wonder what you would have to give up.
No matter. This is one thing you can do to help overcome the bitterness. Think and imagine how it would be if you had chosen the other path. Think and imagine all the changes that would have caused. Would it have been worth it? If the answer is no, then your decision is the right one, and if it hurts, just walk through the pain. Life comes with pain, and pain is a learning tool.
It will get better, I promise. Email me if you want to chat.
((((((((big hug))))))))
Lady Morgana )0(
2007-10-23 11:08:46 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Morgana 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you're in this situation- i bet it is not that easy, i could feel the pain inside you.
Obviously you used your rational mind (reason)to choose that decision, it is supposed to bring ultimate good/happiness but you dont seem to be-you're mourning.
Look inside your heart, listen to it what it is saying while you're with your family-that is the only way you could determine. Wisdom always lets you choose the right thing to do. If in the end, it lets you choose to choose the other way, i am pretty sure everyone(affected by it) will pass by the change gradually and will learn to accept the truth that there is to see.
2007-10-23 10:04:46 · answer #2 · answered by oscar c 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess I would have to ask the question, what could be so bad that you would have to give up all your loved ones for? Your sons, your home, your family?
Then I would have to say this, no matter what the cost if this goal is something that is good for you and is going to make you happy why would you give it up? Are you sure that you would have to give up everything? Have you approached any of your family and given a hypethetical situation? I would do that before I decided to make such a decision. Good luck to you.
2007-10-23 09:32:06 · answer #3 · answered by Azure M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow! That is heavy!
You already decided not to pursue this goal because it would destroy alot of things that are important in your life. You will mourn this, grieve it until it sits back in the corner of your mind. You can never forget it, but you will learn to tuck away, way back in that corner of your mind.
Good luck!
2007-10-23 09:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
we all have a fundamental need to fill our dream and goals. whatever it may be you must think of what you what and are willing to sacrifice to achieve your dream or goal. the end result must be when you lay your head down on you pillow at night that you can sleep in peace not matter who it hurts and as long as you don't break any laws along the way.
2007-10-23 10:13:11 · answer #5 · answered by reiko the ohio publisher and poet 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whatever the goal was you have asked yourself and answered "would it be worth it?"
obviously the answer was no.
everything we want costs something....what we have to do is decide if that cost is to much or not.
you decided it was to much.
all you need to remember is that you would never have been able to enjoy your "goal" if it meant your family was suffering or in pain and you would have caused it yourself.
so try not to be bitter....whatever it was you gave up you gave it up for love. how can one be bitter about that?
2007-10-23 10:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by bgdadyp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take comfort in the fact that you did the right thing. People are more important than goals.
2007-10-23 11:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by Cee T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you cannot walk two paths at once...you have made your decision, for good or ill, and you need to stick to it...try finding a new goal that lies along the path you have chosen and focus on achieving that.
2007-10-23 10:10:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
THERE ARE OFTEN TIMES IN LIFE WHERE ONE MUST CHOOSE IN AN EITHER OR SITUATION, OBVIOUSLY YOU CHOOSE THAT WHICH WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU. FAMILY IS IRREPLACEABLE. YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE.
2007-10-23 10:22:05 · answer #9 · answered by Loren S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋