do you like it?

Question

i miss u

now im sittin here
with you on my mind
waitin on
this thing called time
i wanna be with you
wanna touch you again
im sorry i hurt you
but i gave you my heart once
and you gave it back broken
i didnt know how i felt
wen i hurt u liek that
but now i do
i wanna be your wifey
i wanna wear your hat
i wanna be the one you love
like two turtle doves
so im sittin hear
with you on my mind
bottom line
i miss you

i no the spelling is bad but its INTENTIONAL

Answer 1

very sweeet sweetie and the misspells go along with what u say the tten love and how u misspelled it is very nicely fit in
that doesnt matter ur feelings are
somebody will come with tape and tape up ur heart and make it fixed again
-xoxo-
my best wishes to you

Answer 2

Spelling things bad intentionally can work if you don't overuse it, but you have to have a reason for it and it has to be used sparingly, or people will think about that rather than what you're actually saying. There needs to be an idea behind it, not just the desire to make it look different. I'm not seeing that. For instance, "sittin hear" - why "sittin" without even an apostrophe? Why "hear," unless you're making an allusion to the sense of hearing, which doesn't seem to be the case? If the reasons aren't evident, it just looks unintentionally wrong.

But I like the bit about wanting to wear the hat - that's a specific detail that sounds both concrete and symbolic.

Answer 3

its a bit of an over done subject
kinda cliché
but its still good =]
i like the start bit
now im sittin here
with you on my mind
waitin on
this thing called time

and the last bit
bottom line
i miss you
Thats good too

Answer 4

i loved the very first line:

now im sittin here
with you on my mind
waitin on
this thing called time

when you write a poem, puncuation is very important. It can help tell the story.

good job though! keep it up

Answer 5

Pretty good, maybe try giving yourself a longer line every 3 lines, should even out the reading of it a bit. Make it a bit smoother, how u want ur love to be

Answer 6

Wow. That is a wonderful poem. I wrote something like that before a year ago. Keep up the good work.

Answer 7

Nice lyrical type of thing going on. However, you starting losing it a little towards the end. It could use a little work.

Answer 8

I like it...but the beginning is stronger than the rest of the poem...it is really good though

Answer 9

Very nice and creative

Answer 10

I like it alot. A few lines here and there clash but overall its good!!!