My little brother is 18 year old. He is a trouble maker. He quited high school, smoke, and drink.
He works for my aunt company. He met a 36 lady widow who has 16 years old son. My brother and the lady are now dating for over 1 years.
My mom said, she is very nice to him. She encourages my brother to managing money, going to school, and quit drinking.
My father said, she is taking advantage of my little brother. She is much older than him. She is a widow with a son.
What do you think of this?
P.S. It is hard for the lady to find a good man ( her age) in my culture because the older people still believe in virginity and such...
What do you think of this? Please advice.
2007-10-23 09:00:25 · 10 answers · asked by Hope 4 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Normally I would be saying it isn't very nice for an older person to be dating someone so young because of power imbalance and so on. However, as it seems that this woman is using her experience and age to do good, and he is old enough to make a decision like that, then I have to say it seems fine for the moment. I think some people use others (in the nicest possible way) sometimes in their lives to make sense of the world around them and in this case, each person is both gaining in some way and giving in some way. I can't quite see how your brother is being 'taken advantage of' unless his gf has him cleaning her house and building her a car or something? They are both getting something out of this relationship however distasteful it may seem. As its good for them both, I think its not worth worrying about. My concern is if the lady friend decides to have a child with him or something....but thats a different story!
2007-10-23 09:29:06 · answer #1 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion you should let them get on with it.
They have lasted over 1 year and she has seemingly turned his life around. Meanwhile he is helping her (you said she was a widow).
In my culture (European) This would not be the normal set up in a relationship, but most people would not be bothered as long as the two people were happy.
At 36 she is not old so you should do nothing. It may just come to a natural end. But, they may go on to be blissfully happy together forever. Whatever happens they are not breaking any laws so there is no problem.
It seems to me that it is your father and possibly you through your culture that have the problem. But this is your brothers life not yours, or your fathers. If either of you interfere you risk alienating your brother and losing him for good.
2007-10-23 16:25:47 · answer #2 · answered by steve 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what culture you are refering to, but if they've been together for a year, and she's helped your brother turn his life around, then it sounds like a good, positive experience!
I'm sure it IS harder for a 36 year old woman with a teenager to find a good man, no matter what culture she's from. It sounds like your brother is helping HER out, making her feel wanted, loved, etc...again it sounds pretty positive.
You didn't list anything negative, except that your father doesn't approve. Could he be one of the older people in your culture that is locked in their stereotypes about what a relationship should be?
These days it's hard enough to find ANY happiness. If your brother has it, then encourage him!
2007-10-23 16:12:03 · answer #3 · answered by darth300z 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I honestly believe that there's no age on love. If he is really happy, and maybe she'll help him get himself together. She maybe really good for him. As long as it's not causing problems between the woman and her son. I also understand why your father worries, but she may of may not really have a hidden agenda. If not then like I said she maybe good for your brother. If she does there's not to much you can do right now, because saying something to your brother may drive him away from you, and if she's using him and she hurts him, he'll need you to be there for him. Also he is 18 so he is able to make his own decisions, and you should support him no matter what, and if things go good be happy for him, if things don't go good, be there for him.
I hope this helps.
2007-10-23 18:46:44 · answer #4 · answered by flawd_beauty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age shouldnt really matter in a relationship as long as they are both happy what business is it for any one to judge them? By the sounds of it this woman is being a very good influence on your brother by encouraging him to better himself. I would be pleased that he has found her, if he hadnt he could well be in prison or dead by now if he had carried on being a trouble maker.
2007-10-23 16:34:19 · answer #5 · answered by gert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's really anyone's business but theirs. I'm sure it seems strange, but the fact is... he's 18 years old, he's old enough to die in Iraq, so he's old enough to choose who he rolls around nekkid with.
Same age ladies are difficult, and socially... guys are supposed to be with a girl 1-2 years younger. 18 is a hard time, and having his own personal milf is probably the most fun way he can go through this time.
I'd lay off, chalk up your dad's comments about it to pure jealousy, and just be supportive of him.
2007-10-23 16:24:08 · answer #6 · answered by Erad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I DONT THINK THE RELATIONSHIP WILL WORK OUT FOR YOUR BROTHER, THOUGH HE MAY LOVE HER, I GUESS, BUT THE AGE DIFFERENCE IS TO MUCH. HER SON IS 2 YEARS OLDER THAN YOUR BROTHER. I THINK THE SON WILL CAUSE THE CONFLICT MORE THAN THEMSELVES. HE WONT LIKE TO CALL SOMEBODY IN HIS OWN AGE GROUP DAD. I KNOW I WOULDN'T. BUT MAYBE YOU BROTHER NEEDS TO GET ON MYSPACE IM SURE THERE IS SOME GIRL HIS AGE WITH THE SAME INTERESTS AS HE. BUT IF HE AND THIS WOMEN ARE HAPPY TOGETHER AND HER SON DOESNT MIND I DONT THINK THERE IS A BIG PROBLEM. BUT IMY OPINION I DONT THINK IT WILL LAST. BUT IF YOU DISCOURAGE HIM IT MAY ONLY MAKE HIM MAD WITH YOU, YOU MAY HAVE TO SIT DOWN WITH HIM AND HAVE A TALK WITH HIM. THEN MAYBE HE WILL SEE IT HIMSELF.
2007-10-23 16:15:57 · answer #7 · answered by justin79paul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is at least 2x her age!? eeww! i hope they aren't doing anything!
well he is 18 so he should make his own choices and if they are doing something its not like your brother is under 18 that would be illegal. the first thing i would do is talk to him about your concern he is your brother after all. Family can be the best friend anyone has.
2007-10-23 16:11:18 · answer #8 · answered by ldsironman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,sounds to has if she is good for your brother.
2007-10-23 16:17:21 · answer #9 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres more to it than you think. I would do some investigating.
2007-10-23 16:28:27 · answer #10 · answered by nanna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋