I am a good looking man. I have my weaknesses, don't get me wrong. But at 47, I'm not going to change. I'm open and vulnerable. I'm a good lover. But it seems the more I give, the more disappointed with me she is. What the heck are women looking for???
2007-10-23 09:00:19 · 21 answers · asked by beautifulmoontonight 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all get rid of that attitude - "at 47 I'm not going to change". Marriage is compromise. Obviously you're not as "great" as you think. Try talking to her. It doesn't matter what "women" are looking for - only your woman. Remember that you're not perfect - and neither is she. Falling in love is easy, staying there is the challenge. I'm sure she's not "diasspointed" with you. Just communicate and get to the bottom of things...
2007-10-23 09:27:59 · answer #1 · answered by gatsgrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit whining. You sound to me like you are on some poor me trip. The best thing you can do is be a man. You do not have to be mister sensitive all the time. Be strong and quit being so defensive. Don't try to act like a tough guy either. Why are you giving her all the power? You sound whipped.
Get a productive hobby and get your mind off of always trying to be so attentive. She can see right through you. If you do not act needy, she will eventually gravitate back to you.
2007-10-23 16:21:12 · answer #2 · answered by Elven Archer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe we are just stupid I was in that situation too but i am the wife , my husband was always the best everything you said and more and for any reason He felt exactly like you for almost five years and even when I didn't do that on propose I never take care on him like he deserved I was just like a little girl wanting everything for her and never give nothing back until he gets tired of that situation and started making me feeling he doesn't love me anymore and that he was looking for a woman who makes him feel loved and that was like a wake up call so I realized I didn't want to lose a man so wonderful and I reviewed my life and now we are so happy I do whatever I can to make him happy and he is again that superman I felt in love . maybe your wife is just like many women that think that just because they are married they don't have to take care of your love it is like a plant you have to take care of it every day or it will dye .
2007-10-23 16:13:07 · answer #3 · answered by sambabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from personal experience I suggest you get off the hamster wheel as no matter what you do it will not satisfy her.
I find the direct approach works best in asking her what is wrong. Avoid the pitfalls of defending yourself when you did nothing wrong and get marriage counseling to work trough things.
My wife suffers from depression and takes it out on me, in fact her side of the family calls me the human pinata. I learned to stand up for myself, do my best, have fun and not worry about satisfying unreasonable expectations.
Good luck.
2007-10-23 16:10:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be your wife has someone else on her mind.
Could be your wife is not satisfied with herself ... her appearance.
Could be your wife (if she's working) is just too tired to enjoy just about everything in her life.
Could be your wife is beginning to go through the "change
of life."
Tell your wife that you want to seriously discuss your marriage and the direction it is going in and if you're to blame, you want
her to be open about it.
The only way to get an answer to your question is to corner her and lay it on the line. Quit guessing !
2007-10-23 16:36:12 · answer #5 · answered by daisyfay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help her out. Around the house, with the kids, anything. We come home and we're tired and feel beat down and then we have to entertain kids, keep the house and cook a meal?
That's pretty much the biggest thing in a long term relationship...someone who understands me and who I understand and someone who steps up and helps out.
2007-10-23 16:08:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there is any way to get her to read Dr. Laura's book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, do it. I have read testimonies from women who have read the book and like myself it brought them to tears when they realize that their husband really is a great guy and just wants to be loved and appreciated for who he is. The guys interviewed in the book are just like you, and would do anything just to know that he is number one in his wife's eyes. Sad that most women don't see this until they are a few years divorced and realize that it really wasn't as bad as they made it out to be.
2007-10-23 17:11:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter what women are looking for, it matters why your wife seems unsatisfied with you. Go get the book the 'Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and it's companion book "the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura. Read the books and see if you think the concepts might help your marriage, if so, give them to your wife. She should be taking YOUR needs seriously too, not just hers.
2007-10-23 16:05:19 · answer #8 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like she's looking to you to make her happy. Big mistake on her part. Happiness comes from within and the person we're with just adds to it. If this is the case, she will never be satisfied. Encourage her to do the things that make her happy. She's not happy with herself and using you as the big excuse. Good luck :)
2007-10-23 16:45:57 · answer #9 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what, she knew what the job consisted of when she applied for it. I don't know what she thinks is wrong but there is a whole lot that's right. Don't compromise who you are! She doesn't seem to appreciate you very much but one day she will...we'll just hope it's not too late! Good Luck to you!
2007-10-23 16:11:03 · answer #10 · answered by I know a lil' bit about that 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋