My daughter was friends with this boy since kindergarden. Then we moved to Canada, and out of nowhere he started calling her everyday. I didn't put too much into it- they both are after all only 11 yrs old. Then I checked her email(I do this regularly mostly to see what her dad , my ex- is writting to her) I saw all those emails back and forth with the boy, each one ending with I love you,Me too,and most disturbingly- I want to make out with you!! My daughter telling a boy she wants to make out?? What does she mean? How do I find out without pushing her away from me(she usually shares her crushes with me, but nothing about this one and I don't know how to proceed? Plus- she will see this boy when she goes to visit her dad,and I'm freaking out, cause in one of the mails the boy writes"I have a hiding place in my backyard" (to make out that is)
I know crushes are normal and they will fade, but to teach my daughter to deal with this properly I need to start acting now! HELP!!!
2007-10-23 08:50:44 · 9 answers · asked by gsdmania.com 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
welcome to the teenage years. when your kids dont talk to you anymore, because you dont know how they feel (according to them anyways). but i do agree with everyone else...you need to tell or let your ex read this stuff so he will be aware of what is going on and what to expect. i dont know what has happened with the generations of today, they grow up too early. not like when we were 11 yrs. old, playing dolls, games etc.
most certainly, you need to communicate with your daughter, they know more than you may think, but hearing directly from you may help her. if she KNOWS that you check her email, then by all means ask her about them ...and that gives you a good time to talk, if she dont know, she will accuse you of snooping and get angry etc., but if it were one of my 3 daughters, its time to be MOM not daughters friend.
good luck
hugz and kisses
2007-10-23 09:51:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was 12 my boyfriend and I did that, but it never excalated further than just 'talking' about it. This is probobly both their first time that someone they like likes them back so they dont know what to do. I would do what other people said, and to tell your ex to watch out for it. But maybe also talk to your daughter about how old you were when you had your first kiss and talk about... well 'THE talk.' Talk to her about how much girls who have sex to early always end up old alone and bitter and how nobody really likes them. Even tell her about a girl at your old school who started doing that stuff to early and how horrible she turned out. Examples always help. ^.^
2007-10-23 09:20:14 · answer #2 · answered by Marissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't let your daughter know you read the e-mail. She'll stop trusting you.
Also, I know she's only 11, but lets' face it.
Society is promoting sex like it's going out of style.
The ages that kids are having sex are getting younger & younger, and I think it might be best you sit her down and give her a sex talk.
Let her know it's okay to explore her feelings and that she'll be having different desires because of her hormones, but that it's important to be healthy & to protect herself. Let her know it can be dangerous to be involved in things. I don't mean for you to scare her away from boys, but I think as long as she understands that sex at that age is dangerous, I wouldn't worry about her "making out".
It's normal for them to want to make that step.
At that age you're starting to wonder about relationships.
I think as long as the e-mails don't go any further than kissing, you're in the clear.
2007-10-23 12:35:57 · answer #3 · answered by WOLFpackGirl192 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alert your ex of the messages, and when she goes there to really watch her... it is a case of puppy love and we were all doing that at 11- 12- 13 years old...i'm sure it will die out, but it might be time for "the talk"
2007-10-23 08:55:48 · answer #4 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to first and most importantly talk to your daughter about sex and the risks and your expectations. Girls like to be talked to like they are as old as they are feeling, grown up. Definitely talk to her dad, be sure he is aware of what is going on. Talk to your daughter about his boy, maybe if your family decides to go do something ask her if she would like to invite him along. Then she knows you accept him and her and she has less to hide from you.
2007-10-23 09:16:22 · answer #5 · answered by kelly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
aw, that is cute how your daughter is having a crush .. its just a crush so just chill! speaking from a girl who was 11 *13 now lol, i think its just hormones .. and what the public makes it .. when your in the car one day i think you should just bring something up from your experiences and make her think.. like i didn't start making out til i was like 18! lol it will discourage her and probably make her think twice..
2007-10-23 09:28:54 · answer #6 · answered by EXQUISITE; 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that she is yung and has her whole life ahead of her. definatly tell your ex your concern and if needed show him the emails too. Dont yell at her and make her feel dumb or attack her and make her want to do it more. watch it closely though
2007-10-23 09:07:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell your ex about it and hopefully hell deal with it. and ask her about it and see if she will tell you anything, like if she will lie to you and not say anything about those emails or somthing
2007-10-23 08:58:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
it's best to leave it alone. my reason is if u make a big deal of it then it's gonna mike her do it anyway.
2007-10-23 09:06:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋