Isn't child support for the child?

Question

If a man is paying child support, isn't that money for the child?
Why would an ex-wife then ask to pay the husband to pay for even more stuff? Isn't she supposed to manage the money the ex-husband gives her plus spend some of her own on the child?
Example: Man pays child support and the ex-wife calls up the ex-husband to pay for years books and school supplies and uniforms.
P.S.
This example came from the Dr. Phil show

Answer 1

I totally agree!! the money should cover the child's expenses, I hate the way women exploit kids in their divorce and use them as a personal bank account! It's up to the father to pitch in in other expenses they shouldn't be obligatory since they get a big percent taken out of their check to pay for child support

Answer 2

I have this example in my life with my husbands ex. I have done a crazy amount of reading on this subject....not just the child support but the entire manipulation of the whole situation. Yes the child support is for the child. However, the courts look at it this way. If the child is having steak for dinner why should the mother have mac and cheese....she should also have a steak...no, I am not kidding. Also, the number the mother will do on the children's minds if you say, I already gave to that will more times than not be used to hurt you. There is nothing legally at this point and time that you can do about that manipulation. So chances are you end up paying. There is a law that I have discovered call Voluntarily Impoverished...that if the mother will not work at full capacity then she will be deemed voluntarily impoverished and child support calculations will be based on potential to earn income. I am in the process of writing a book about this type of thing. It is not only interesting, it is troublesome.....it bothers me alot. Also did you know that many times a father will be overlooked if something happens to the custodial mother and the child will be placed in a foster home instead. These are situations that really bother me. Aren't you glad you asked.

Answer 3

This is a touchy situation. YES the support is for the child AND the mother should pitch in if the child needs things as well. Unfortunalty today things are expensive. Depending on how much the father pays it isnt nearly enough to take care of house bills, food, school supplies, clothes and whatever else the child needs. Think about it. Fathers pay a certain amount every week. With that the mother has to pay for food, bills to keep a roof over the childs head and other things that come up. Personally, what I get for my son is for my son. I dont touch it. No matter what if it's things for the child the parents need to supply these things. If the father is questioning the use of the money, when the mother calls and says she needs money, the father should take the child and get the items himself. Dont give her the money. If it's really for the child, she wont object to him taking the child to get it.

Answer 4

Well one reason she may be asking for more is because alot of the time the money that the supporter gets in not enough, they seriously underestimate the cost of raising children, i know in my case my 2 are really expensive kids, believe me usually the husband gets out cheap, and i am giving you this info first hand, my ex has a problem paying he thinks that i don't need it, that he need's it more than me, he doesn't even understand the point, that he is obligated to support these 2 children just like I am, what if i decided i didn't want to pay for anything what would happen to them then? He owe's me 55,000 in back support, that's the law that he pay me but he doesn't, and the law say's he gets visitation and guess what- he does, i wouldn't think of telling my children that they couldn't see their daddy because i would be punishing them as well as him, besides one really has nothing to do with the other, visitation is the child's right to see their father, not the fathers right to see the child, and the ex's get it all wrong, if we spend all of our money on the bills and the kids then the child support check comes in and say i buy a outfit and then he says your spending the money on you, no that's not true, i have been spending all of my money on the kids and bills it's just a matter of timing when that money comes in, the kids are still getting everything they need, (and want, way to much most of the time) and the bills get paid they don't go without anything, they have the best of everything, that's why the money that he is supposed to give me is a drop in the bucket in what it takes to really support my kids, a reality check for him if he could only see how easy he has it, especially since he doesn't even pay what he is supposed to pay, but pretty soon he will be paying for that, as soon as the legal system catch's up with him, and it's on his heel's right now, then he will wish he would have listened to me, i even told him i would take 1/2 of what he is ordered to pay until he supposedly could get on his feet, but no he's too greedy so he can pay the consequences, literally

Answer 5

Yes, that money is for the child, but who has the every day feeding and care of this child? If the man is paying $200 a month in support, the wife's portion should also be $200 a month, right? Well, who can raise a child for $400 a month? If the child support is being used for something like rent, which is for the child, since a roof overhead is a necessity, there may not be enough left over from what the mother makes to afford extras like year books and school supplies.
The mother does spend her own on the child in terms of rent/mortgage, lights, telephone, gas for the car to take said child places, car insurance so the child is protected in the event of an accident, clothes, shoes, food, doctor/dentist, medicine, the list goes on and on.
It just absolutely kills me that men can sit there and say, "I pay you X amount of money every month, you should manage it better for the kid. That way I can take all the extra money I have from not having all these extra kid-related expenses and blow it on my blonde girlfriend".

Answer 6

Child support is to help with the child's expenses, however, alot of times the court bases the amount of money on what the exhusband (or exwife) makes vs. the actual cost of raising a child. Therefore the paltry amount that the mother of said child receives, often isn't enough to cover the actual expenses. I've actually hears of a child support check coming in at $2.61. for an entire month. The mother then has every right to call ex-husband up to split the actual expenses for raising the child.

On the other side of this, there are those who will take advantage of the system, spend the check on themselves, and demand the ex to pay for the actual expenses.

There are 2 sides to every story, and i would imagine the situation is different with each couple.

Answer 7

There are many things that go into paying for the child. People often think it's just things specifically for the child, but as a single dad I can tell you that once I begin to receive my child support, it will probably go towards food, rent, bills, and such. These are things that also are needed by the child. Since I am single I also have child care which is a huge expense. If you think about it, the other person is only giving part of their check to the other while the other gives their money, time, personal life, and often sacrifices alot more than the other person.

Answer 8

I think because like if you were still in the relationship you would have an idea of how much you were going to spend and thats what they use for the child support annual payment or whatever. But then things always come up like the child decides to join a team that costs money and you have to buy a bunch of stuff that you didnt know would have came up so it wouldn't be in the child support. The mom will cover a lot of that, such as even small fees for school outtings, but she wants you to help out with the extra stuff too. It cost a LOT to have a kid, especially when extra expenses come up if they join a sport team or get a hobbie, want toys, etc. It depends on how much you are willing to spend on your child for the extra things to pitch in and help the mom out. It's really hard being a single mom, living with two kids and working. It's a lot easier being just a single dad living alone with lots of free time for other things and only having the kids on weekends usually. Child support covers the neccesities of the kids, but when the mom calls asking for money so she can get the kids a year book that is up to you if you want to buy them that so they can have it when they are older.

Answer 9

Child support is based on state guidelines that can only assume how much two parties who earn what the parties of the action earn would spend on a child if the family was intact. That figure is then split in proportion to the parties' incomes. This is just a guideline amount and doesn't take every circumstance into consideration. Perhaps the child in your example has more "extras" than other children. Especially if attending private school, the cost of which isn't included in state guidelines.

Answer 10

Child support should be used for the child, helping pay for housing, food, medical, etc. Prices have gone up, so she may be managing the money as best as she can, but it can only go so far. School supplies, uniforms, yearbooks are once a yr. things that takes her budget above & beyond what she may be able to afford at the time. Look at what the judge ordered in your divorce decree to see what you are responsible for besides child support. Talk to your attorney who handled the divorce & go from there. Then, ask your children directly what they need & help your ex out by buying it for them.

My biological father was suppose to help with school supplies, medical, etc. but he skipped town 30yrs ago, never paying child support. Now, he loses the 1st $200 or so of his Social Security check every month (he just retired last yr at age 62) to Child Support until he pays his arrears off. That money goes to my Mom for all the sacrifices she made.

Answer 11

Child support is for the child's well being. This includes roof over head, food, doctor's visit's, clothing etc. The money goes into general fund of running a household that includes the child's needs which often extend beyond the child's needs like social activities etc. Things come up in life that require additional money. This goes for adults too. People living paycheck to paycheck never have money left over for life's unexpected events. If you don't have custody you are probably getting off lite monetarily in the long run so just belly up and handle your responsibilities like the rest of us guys paying child support. Your kid didn't ask to be born. If your ex is abusing the system take her back to court.