Okay. Im an old flame..so to speak.. of a person who got a divorced... about 9 months ago. He's over his marriage now, but she still haunts his mind. So in order to be fair to me he is moving away approx. 10 hours to start his life.. get a house, has a nice job offering, and be fair to me. Then when he clears his head, start a relationship again w/ me. TRUST me we are in love.... I just wanted to know .... is it normal.... when you end a marrriage you REALLY wanted to work out. To not want to make the same mistake again so you might step away from the world.... and breath figure out stuff on your own.... Just want to know that it has happened b4 to someone .. and that I will still have a good chance with my love if it is meant to be.
2007-10-23 08:23:02 · 2 answers · asked by Life is simply beautiful 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he was left 4 someone else
2007-10-23 09:06:58 · update #1
Divorce is a crushing defeat to a person. It takes its toll on a person's self image. He may want to not share these down moments with you, but I'm not sure putting so much distance between you is the best thing.
It will take time for him to feel normal again, maybe as much as a full year. People recover in their own way. I'd say if he is moving away and you want a future relationship with him, you need to stay in touch with him once a week or once every two weeks. If you sense that his mood is improved, visit him.
You may need to allow him a rebound relationship before you end up with him. Rebound relationships fill a need to be with someone, but normally they are not chosen with the clearest of minds nor with the long term considered. They can be like bandages, to help heal, but discarded when the healing is done.
You need to look inside yourself and see if you can endure this. You may suffer during the time he is away. If he gets involved with someone else, there may be a long period where he doesn't contact you. There is the risk that he will move on with out you as well.
Love is time. If you have time, your Love flourshes. If you don't have time (with each other), it won't grow.
You need to give him space, but when to step back in and work on your relationship together is a decision that is hard to make.
Personally, my wife left me and it took me about 2-3 months to get over her. (after 3 years of marriage, one child) In the 4th month, I met and started dating my current wife (of 20 years) Who knows what happens and when. It could be that meeting someone he likes may help him get over his wife. It is an emotional issue and there is no set time table.
Good luck in your decisions.
2007-10-25 06:17:02 · answer #1 · answered by Ken C. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to consider the reason the divorce happened. He may not be good marriage material or partner for that matter. Be very careful.
2007-10-23 15:30:21 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋