New York Custody laws? Bf and I may be done for good.?

Question

We're not married. But we have a 5 month old daugther together. I dont care about anything but making sure she stays with me if worse comes to worse. The apartment we live in is in my name, although small. I dont smoke and drink rarely and if I do drink, I'm out with adults, and not while she's in my care. I work full time. We have a babysitter during the day who stays with her. I make more money than him (not much but still). I'm stable and have no criminal history whatsoever. I do have financial problems from the past but, my daughter will always be well taken care of.
So my question is, will I automatically be granted full custody of my baby if we split up? Losing her would be like losing my life and it scares me to death. She is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Btw, I work a 9-5, monday through friday job. No crazy schedules. I'm not a stripper or anything like that..lol I'm in sales. Can you tell me your take on what might happen if he tries to pull something?

BTW, she is my first and only baby. I'm 26, he's 28. If that is relevent.

No, I've never had any drug addictions or any type of addictions really. I love my daughter more than words can say and would always do things in her best interest. I wont even pierce her ears because I dont want her to have any pain she doesnt need (like her immunizations)

And Yes, I was sole care giver during her first three months. Me and me alone. I went back to work and the sitter started watching her. And he helps me now that I'm back at work as well.

To those bitter males that responed, yes I want her father in her life. He's a good father and a good person. She loves him to death. It's just not working out between him and I.

Answer 1

There is absolutely no way you will lose your child to your boyfriend. Most courts do not award primary custody to the father but to the mother, this is true in most states. Now unless you pull a Britainy Spears, you have nothing to worry about. But don't try to keep him out of your daughters life unless he turns out to be a real dirt bag. It would be very hard for him to prove any improprieties from what you have described so I wouldn't really worry about it.

Answer 2

You act like you conceived this child alone. Does it dawn on you that the child has a father and that the father may love the child as much as you do? Nothing in your question suggests that you want the child to even know her father. Does that matter to you at all? I can understand why you and your man are breaking up. You're selfish beyond reason. Why even mention that you make more money than him? You may be stable financially, but you're emotionally messed up. Hopefully, the father of this child will get visition rights, to try and undo the damage you are going to cause this child. And what do you mean by: "if he tries to pull something?" You're trying to pull something as well!

Answer 3

In the world we live in, you will probably, and unfairly, be automatically given custody , simply because you are the child's mother. Not that you are the best qualified to raise the child, but simply because you are the mother. Although it is not written in the law, fathers normally must prove that the mother is "unfit". You can just sit there in court and twiddle your thumbs, while he must prove something not even written into the law. The fact that you have other positive attributes would make it more difficult for him to prevail in a court of competent jurisdiction. And it costs big buckaroos to fight it.

So relax.

Answer 4

Think that if your daughter's husband does divorce that he well not be able to tell the court anything that well make you look like an unfit mother. But if you are both equally able to a parent to her then the judge has to make a really hard decision.

Judges have so many cases that if took sides and did favouritism it would be wrong and unfair . So really I can't say for certain who well get custody of her.

Answer 5

If you were to split up, the judge will likely place the baby in your care. The only way he can take her from you is if he proves to the court that you are an unfit mother, but by what I read, that doesn't seem to be the case. The judge will let you have custody because its in the best interest of the child and no child should be without their mother.

Answer 6

I don't know about NY but in Ca they do custody and visitation based on the childs best interest, not who has more/makes more, if you were the nurturing parent since birth then at the bare minimum you would get joint legal joint physical with primary care going to you.

Answer 7

thats not true...Just hope you live in a county that isnt full of male chauvenist pigs and want to give the fathers rights.
I have my kids 6 days a week and pay EVERYTHING, get NO CHILD SUPPORT, pay all medical bills, i mean EVERYTHING, and yet he still says he has "shared parenting"

yeah, RIGHT! he THINKS he does....
So just be careful and make sure you write out EVERYTHING to your attorney....what you want done, or it can and WILL pop up later. Good LUCK and congrats on your baby!

Answer 8

Most likely YOU will get primary custody and he will have rights to see her part of the time. Regardless of your current financial situation however, if you don't get yourself an attorney to make sure the custody hearing is handled correctly you are acting foolishly. If you even THINK he will challenge custody, get an ATTORNEY NOW.

Answer 9

Make sure you are able to prove you are the sole caretaker, that is what they will be looking for, receipts, checks, credit card receipts, make sure it shows you pay the baby-sitter, you pay most of the bills etc...Does he even want custody of his baby?

Answer 10

Don't see any reason to call you an unfit mother, unless you have a drug problem or abusive.