Why does child support have to always be about the money and not the happiness of the child?

Question

There are so many questions on here about woman affraid that there ex is going to take away there childsupport because the child is 18 or would rather live with the ex. Isnt it unfair to ask that question? what about the ex that has been paying that child support for 18+ years? where is there break? If they can not afford to support the child with the child support and there carreer why should the child live with that parent? then when the children do reach of age for a car or a college fund there is no money for that child. why should they be so worried about the child support stopping when the child would be happier to live with the other parent? wouldnt that be enough?

Yes I am a parent of a son and a step daughter. I am not opposed to my husband paying child support! I think it is great that he is able to support his child that way. I am not being judgemental and I have seen were yes it is very fair that the other parent should pay. But I have also seen where it is the other way too. I just wanted other opinions about this, As It is not all about the money but the child.

Answer 1

you know I receive child support and i NEVER have depended on it. It comes sporadically and it is inconsistent. So when I care for my children I only take into consideration what I make at my job. Some of these women on here are only concerned about the CS b/c they are not spending it on the child. they are getting their hair and nails done or buying clothes and such. it is sad!! why would you live with the so-called absent parent and still request CS? isn't the father/mother living with you enough? NO person paying child support can take it away unless they stop working. then they have the risk of being put in jail for not paying it. Some children still will continue to receive the CS even after turning 18 b/c there is back pay. It all has to be at a zero balance for it to stop. My children get the CS that is paid to THEM. That is THIER money not mine, to me that check is the absent parent helping me pay for toys or whatever my children want for. It is something for them, not me. I make my own money, if I wanted his I would still be with him.

Answer 2

Why would you assume that your child support payments are in any way equal to the custodial parent's responsibility to the child? You pay a portion of your income, while the custodial parent's total income is involved with raising the child. Rent (or mortgage), food, clothing, school supplies, transportation, emotional support, discipline, medical problems, and all the rest are left on the custodial parent's plate, while you simply make your child support payment. You can visit the child, or not visit the child. You're not there when the child is hurting. You don't console the child when his (or her) heart has been broken. You're not there for the day-to-day play-by-play living. No. All you do is pay child support.

As far as a break is concerned, there is none! Children don't stop breathing at a certain age. They don't turn 18 and suddenly understand every facet of life. This is what comes from being a parent who just pays child support--a parent who doesn't understand why their child support isn't enough. You think you should get a break. That's how out of touch you are with your child!

Answer 3

Knowing what the children want is important. But honestly how many children are "abusing" what they have now? Turning 18 year old and getting a car and still want free money? Can you pay for your own gas? Look at the third country world for crying out loud. People are dieing of hunger and speaking out freely. Child support is just supporting your own flesh and blood. Why can't you even spare that amount of money? You need it on a date with some other guy or women that is half your age?
People are dieing out there and you are asking why are the parent not caring about the happiness of the kid? What about the parent that are going through the divorce? The man or woman they love for x amount of year want to walk out. Do the kid have pitty on them? The kid should be grateful to have a roof over his/her head. Look in Southern California, a forest fire has destory many house already. What are those "kids only" thinking? My toys? My Ipod? Hello, the house that your father and mother have work so hard on is burn to the ground.

Answer 4

Because the child's happiness is not what pays for the roof over his head or the food in his stomach. Whatever money the couple would have made, together, would have constituted a percentage that goes to the child. It doesn't matter that, now, each person is making the money separately. A percentage of it STILL goes to the child(ren).

Once a child turns 18, a parent no longer has legal financial obligation to the [now] adult, and child support stops. And it doesn't matter if a child wants to live with Santa Claus, the court has decided, based upon the facts presented by BOTH parents, where the child is going to live.

I suspect that the 'many questions on here' are erroneously asked, or misconstrued by you, as your premises make little sense.

Answer 5

What do you think that they use that child support for? You need more than just oxygen and water to raise a child...you obviously have no children...When you have a child with someone you expect them to help you with raising it regardless of if they choose to stay together or not...Children are not cheap and while you might think that women are just using that money for whatever, in some cases you may be right...but majority of the time what is ordered by the court for the absent parent to pay is hardly enough to cover the expenses the child encurs while growing up...hence why they sometimes have to pay past the age of 18...and to answer your other question of why they don't live with the other parent is probably because there is a reason behind it...Most people aren't stable enough to make choices for themselves let alone another minor human.

Answer 6

Theoretically, a parent is obligated by law to support a child up to the age of 18 years old that is if he love the child or not. Now if the parent loves the child the parent would want to do more and as much as they can to help their child. If that is by paying for their education or other expenses the child would have while pursuing their goal.
It sad hearing of parents that are dead beats to their children and are not taking care of them. Unfortunately they later will have to live with that for the rest of their lives in their conscious knowing that they abandoned their child.

Answer 7

"Would you sacrifice your child's happiness for a promotion?" -Probably not. Especially not over their well being and if such a promotion would affect their happiness to the point of affecting their well being, it's not worth it. If the new promotion cuts into family time then I see it even more of an issue and not worth it. Family time is becoming a rarity these days and family outlasts money. I'd rather have less money and a content, healthy family than be more well to do and my children not feel like they are more of a priority than having more money. Bottom line, it would not make me happy if my children felt less important in my life. My happiness comes from their emotional, physical, and spiritual well being.

Answer 8

Whether you agree or not, child support does promote the happiness and well being of the child. This gives the custodial parent opportunities to provide for the child that may not have been available to them w/out the support. At 18, the support s/b done w/anyway. Child support is just that and is for day to day expenses; it is not for college funds and cars. It is expensive to raise a child. If you're resentful about paying, you should have used birth control!

Answer 9

You know, ask my ex that. He was fine when he had custody and I had to pay child support but now that I have custody he doesn't want to pay a dime. I was willing to work something out so he would be basically be paying for school lunches, school fees, snacks, some of her clothes and gas for me picking her up from his house and taking her there after he got off work (on his Fridays and Mondays and he lives about 20 minutes away); I said $175 a month.

He refused. So I took him to Child Serves and was going to be getting $597 a month plus he owes $1791 in back support. He asked for a "review" so now we have to go to court and CS is asking the judge to garnish his check for the full legal amount (which is 49% of his gross pay = $1600 a month).

I tried to work it out but he is one of those people you are talking about.

Answer 10

The child support industry is a 24 Billion Dollar a year industry just ahead of the pornography industry. Do you actually think that these industries actually give a crap about the best interest of anything but the bank account? I don't think so. It is not mind boggling, it is the epitome of capitalism that we have allowed women and the system to abuse to their benefit and will continue until it is time to change it.