My soon to be X Wife screwed me over again.Three years ago she cheated on me with a guy for a year. After many fights and counseling etc we stayed together. Then in 06' I moved out for 5 months. She didnt love me etc. At the last minute she wanted to stay together and work on us. Our Townhouse had been sold so we had to quickly buy a house up the street. We wanted to keep our Daughter in the same school. Well this past August she left. She said it was a mistake and all the same crap in March but we agreed to stay until my mom could sell her house and move in with me. This would keep my Daughter in the same school etc. She broke that deal. Last week I found out she had been seeing a guy the entire time since we had been separated. It was all a lie because she didnt know where to go once the townhome sold. Of course the neighbors knew and told me the truth. She owned up to it when I confronted her. No guilt no nothing. Cold. Its been 11 years of marriage for nothing. It hurts so damn bad
2007-10-23 08:08:08 · 20 answers · asked by Bill 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
that sounds like my story the pain will go away but the hurt will always be there. don't worry it gets better with time. 15 yrs. ago my world came to a crashing end just as yours has. since then i have remarried and have 3 great kids. find a close friend that you can vent to who is not a walking newspaper, tell him or her everything hold nothing back you will find that time heals all wounds i will not wish you good luck but i will wish you godspeed after all it worked for john glenn twice hope it helps
2007-10-23 08:24:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there, seen it, done it. She obviously keeps coming back because of the security factor and as long as you keep taking her bull she will keep dishing it out. I took my ex back three times once after I divorced her. I was trying to do the honorable thing because of the kids involved and that was a master mistake. Get her out of your life find a woman that will treat you right but make sure you get rid of the emotional baggage from her before you do and beware her coming around when you start seeing other people because her intent will be to destroy that relationship by hook or crook. Once a cheater always a cheater. I know it hurts now but if you sit and think about it the hurt is from what she did and not from her leaving. You are better off without her. Also talk to your daughter as she is affected by all of this to let her know your relationship with her will not change because of this. Be open and honest with her and don't say mean things about her mom in front of her save it for your "I finally got rid of *****." party.
2007-10-23 08:20:45 · answer #2 · answered by shewhosnameshallnotbespoken 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i wish i could tell u that something like this is easy to get over but its not. because this is someone u gave your heart to and thought u had a life with. guess its wrong to take them back once they cheat on u, but u loved her and had faith in life and people, why wouldn't u, if she was doing all the right things to convince u. when we are hurt and focused on our hurts, they won't get any better. instead join a grief group, help others who are hurting, get the focus off of u, and onto someone else. they have no guilt, at least not right now, but believe me when her world comes crashing down she will remember what she did to u than. her new relationship goes against god and his will, and it won't work. just because she didn't love u, doesn't mean there isn't someone out there who will find u wonderful and love u, u just believed the wrong person, once u get snake bit, u never want to do it again cause that's her nature.
2007-10-23 08:43:16 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time is gonna do its job I know it is so hard this moment but little by little you will feel better and the pain will fade ,of course you have to dump her and go away from her definitely don't lose you time don't let her make your life miserable just like hers is move on and then you are gonna start feeling better and never believe her again she is not gonna change and she does not love you she does not also deserve a man like you, it is not too late you can still find the right woman for you for now theres nothing else you can do just dumper her and wait good luck :-)
2007-10-23 08:21:02 · answer #4 · answered by sambabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time heals all! You just have to be patient and give it time! You will eventually find someone who makes you happy and treats you with respect. You deserve that!! Don't beat yourself up over this. She is the one who was in the wrong, and she will get what is coming to her someday. As painful as it is, try to think of it as a blessing! You really don't want a person like this in your life anyway!
By the way, it wasn't all for nothing!! You have a beautiful daughter and I'm sure she is worth whatever pain you have to endure!!
It gets better, I promise!! Good luck!
2007-10-23 08:33:58 · answer #5 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not blame yourself and do not dislike yourself. You have to realize that you are in control of yourself and your actions. You cannot make an individual be faithful to you. Know that everything happens for a reason and at least you know. Do not focus on her actions you have child that still needs you. PRAY in good times and not so good times, Focus on you, learn to love you, learn true love, it's out here. If you don't learn somethings about yourself you will allow yourself to be unhappy for a very long time. Don't wait too long to make a change. Know that it was not you that made her cheat/lie, she cheated because she wanted to. You did not make her cheat/lie. You and the child both of you have together deserve better, more, and to be happy.
2007-10-27 07:57:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never totally get rid of her since you have a child together. Your first move should be counseling for yourself. Don't admit fault unless you know its your fault. It doesnt sound like it to me. It sounds as if she had a big problem. Anyway, Start doing for yourself as well as your daughter. Be the better parent and forget about the past and make a future for your daughter and yourself.
2007-10-23 08:15:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Re-focus yourself. Change your routine. Start an exercise program, or join the Lions, Rotary or Elks. Develop a new network of friends and past times. Take up a new hobby. Take a trip. Find volunteer opportunities
HINT: You can't change the past, but you can influence the future.
2007-10-23 08:29:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you get over the pain? By allowing time to go by and moving on. There is no other way. You might consider talking to a real counselor about it. It's going to be a lot better than a bunch of strangers on yahoo answers.
2007-10-23 08:11:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time is the biggest healer. In the meantime, you will need a diversion. No, not a retaliation affair but a new hobby. Something that occupies you and restart your life. Don't give up hope. The world is full of wonderful people.
2007-10-23 08:15:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋