My husband constantly wants to have deep, meaningful, conversations. But, it's getting old! I don't like to spend all my free time discussing deep inner thoughts. I want to relax and not have to think so much. He says its his way of gaining trust in me, and it gives him confidence. But it wears me out! Plus, I get in trouble if I don't want to talk, or if what comes out of my mouth isn't what he wants to hear! I'm so frusterated!!!!!!!!
2007-10-23 08:07:00 · 11 answers · asked by Hick Chick 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a toughie, huh? Maybe you could try to "schedule" some talking time and then also "schedule" some quiet time. Make sure you tell him (because we all know men are more sensitive than they make up believe) you love the talks y'all have and that you understand that is important to him. Then tell him that whats important to you is some quiet and that marriage is about compromise and that you will make time to talk with him if he will make time to "not talk with you" I hope this is making sense to you. Good luck working this out.
2007-10-23 08:14:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, he married you even though he doesn't trust you? Maybe set aside some time each day or every other day to talk - Make it designated talking time that way he knows that during that time, he can have deep conversations. Also set aside relax time daily or every other day - Time when you can just watch TV and zone out. Compromise :o)
2007-10-23 15:18:52 · answer #2 · answered by Go Bears! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar problem, when my wife comes home from work all she wants to do is talk about her work and it is the same crap every day. Nothing is ever enjoyable, I guess it is her way of dealing with the crap she has to put up with. I just listen and try to pay attention. Me when I go home I try to forget about work and very seldom have a need to talk about it and that seems to bother her. I've tried to have deep philosophical conversations but they never seem to get anywhere with her.
2007-10-23 15:14:21 · answer #3 · answered by countryguyhfc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your husband lacking trust in you? Have you done something to cause him insecurity in the marriage? Was he like this before you got married? Did you suddenly expect him to change? Do you show him how important he is to you in other ways? Perhaps if you showed him that you admire him and value his opinion in other ways, he wouldn't be so needy for the 'long talks?'
2007-10-23 15:50:03 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just proves that women don't want men who are deep, despite what they claim. Just tell him to agree to a once a week long talk about things. At least he's communicating. More than most couples have.
2007-10-23 15:18:18 · answer #5 · answered by CC 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds weird. It sounds more like control issues and trying to break you down than it does about having conversations.
I think it is fine to say enough is enough. It is fine to say I don't want to talk about this any more.
It is fine to tell him you're just going to get mad about what I say any way etc..,
I say limit him to 10 minutes once a day on these in depth conversations. As soon as he gets mad about a response or lack there of, it's over.
2007-10-23 15:11:32 · answer #6 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't say how you feel if it isn't what he wants to hear, how does that count as a conversation? He obviously just does it to make himself feel better. And building trust in you... isn't he your HUSBAND? He married you but can't trust you? Sounds like you married a real winner, lol, have fun.
2007-10-23 15:11:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like woman are when you the one they want the other. Oh my g*(* i am so glad I just love my wife, I have stopped to try and understand her some 25 odd years ago. Also they always have to dig up old and forgotten stuff. Why do woman do that.
2007-10-23 15:19:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its his way of becoming deeper in love with you... yes its hard to understant and yes it dose wear me out, but it sounds like i jus wants a little luvvin and not just sex... at least he wants to talk about your realtionship its hard to get guys to do that. lay down some ground rules tell um "well u asked the question im telling you the answer and im not sugar coating it!" because me and my b/f have been threw this. it'll pass
2007-10-23 15:13:42 · answer #9 · answered by ashlee_michelle10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men cannot win. If he stopped you'd be complaining that he never had deep meaningful conversations.
EDIT well as for him not letting you talk that's just stupid. Stand up for yourself.
2007-10-23 15:10:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋