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Advice needed! Thank you!?
On Saturday, my bf and I got into a huge fight that involved us screaming at each other outside (he's 24, I'm 23). Long story short, someone called campus police to quiet us down, and he broke up with me the next morning. He said that he still loved me and wants to remain friends. Well, last night, I received an e-mail from him saying, "I don't want to talk this week. We are not going to remain friends. I would appreciate it if you would leave me alone, and I promise to do the same." This is very hurtful coming from the guy who last week was asking me to tell him what kind of engagement ring I want (we've been dating for over a year). At any rate, I haven't tried to contact him or talk to him since Sunday.
Do you think he'll ever talk to me again? Do you think we'll ever get back together?
We have broken up once before over a similar incident (big fight, he dumped me), but I got an e-mail from him wanting me back over the summer. What do you think?
2007-10-23
08:00:06
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18 answers
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asked by
skichamonix515
3
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm feeling bad 4 u dear. May be, the luck get u guys back together. that's quiet uncertain. can't say anything because sometimes a person isn't determined about his decisions n sometimes d same person makes quiet firm decisions. But, suppose ur bf comes bac 2 u, thn wud u like 2 b dumped again by him? i think he's habitual of hurting u as u said that it's the 2nd time he's dumping u. so think urself n reach to some fruitful decision.
2007-10-23 08:12:13
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answer #1
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answered by mona k 2
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I would suggest taking a look at what issue(s) tend to cause the huge fights. Since at one point, there was some conversation about potential marriage, I would strongly recommend take a pre-marital inventory yourself or look at a personality book, like "Please Understand Me" by Keirsey (you can get this at Barnes & Nobel or another book store). Perhaps then you will start to have an idea of what brings on this volatile friction between you.
He sounds on again/off again in this relationship. Conflict-resolution is an obvious factor in your relationship that needs an outside counselor to help you work through BEFORE you ever consider marrying this man or anyone else for that matter.
2007-10-23 15:10:03
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answer #2
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answered by heart4teaching 4
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Well in my opinion, he is just mad at the words that may have been exchanged during the argument, if he told u he still loved u and wanted to remain friends my guess is that he still wants u around in some sort of way, he's just probably waiting for u to make the first move in trying to get him to comeback. As far as him saying he don't want to talk to you anymore... give him what he wants, once he see's u ain't sweatin him he'll come to his senses and come rollin back to you, they always do. My advice is play it out, give him a while to realize what he said and how much of a mistake he made, and if he don't call u after a while.......Fa_Get_Dat_*****!!! O.K.! Hang in there gurl, and just remember if it don't kill ya(and it never does) it can only make ya stronga!!
2007-10-23 15:14:58
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answer #3
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answered by Lady Pain 1
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I think it is best to cut your losses and move on. If you can't discuss without a fight then a marriage would be doomed. Grab a couple of GF's and go out and have a b**** fest about the good the bad and the ugly then toast to the end of a real bad idea. You are young and will find the right person - this guy isn't it. Good Luck!
2007-10-23 15:07:27
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answer #4
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answered by Walking on Sunshine 7
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Do you really want to get married to him? If now even before your engagement he is ready to break off after a fight imagine your plight if after your marriage he leaves you after a tiff..and there is no marriage that does not have ups and down. And if your fight was so bad that the cops had to be called I think you both are too violent for each other. Go cool off first and then find someone else.
2007-10-23 15:06:31
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answer #5
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answered by dawn 2
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MOVE ON. Glad you've got the backbone to NOT contact him after that hurtful email. Take him at his words, and if/when he contacts you, forward his own message back to him, no other contact. And maybe you should talk to a counselor to see why you have this kind of cycle in your relationship. Many campuses have free or cheap counseling available.
Breaking up is hard to do, and it hurts. You've already done this and it's time to go on. Deal with the pain and grief, and don't jump immediately into another relationship. Allow yourself time to heal and to think about all this. REALLY Apply yourself to your studies for the rest of this term.
2007-10-23 15:07:52
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answer #6
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answered by chatsplas 7
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Hmmmm....Well maybe. Let him cool down for a bit and email him or phone him up in a few more days id say around friday just apologising saying you dont want it to end this way, you still love him and youd happily stay friends if he doesnt want to be more. DONT BEG! dont plead for him to come back to you. Just state that you would like to be friends if he doesnt want to be more. If he does want to get back together great! If he wants to stay friends good! Maybe you 2 may get back together someday. If he doesnt want to know you anymore then tell yourself everything happens for a reason and maybe the love of your life is just around the corner and he has been removed to make way for him lol:) (that sounds oddly religious but im not lol:D) Hope ove helped! I think that thats pretty good advice for a 14 year old! lol :P Good luck!!! xxxxxxx
2007-10-23 15:07:07
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Seems like you should completely stop talking to each other before it gets worse. Pretty soon you'll end up hating each other. When to people are dating and problems like this start coming about, there is a low likelyhood that things end up in a "happily ever after" situation.
2007-10-23 15:05:25
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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Both of you need to grow up, if you feel you need to resolve problems by screaming at each other outside so loudly that the police are called.
It's obvious that there's something aobut the two of you that you set each other off. Let it go. Find someone you can get along with.
2007-10-23 15:04:09
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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This guy has played you long enough. Find it within yourself to get over him and stop contacting him. Do other things with other people. If he says he wants you back after a couple of weeks, tell him you are too busy. He is messing with your mind. That or he is too immature to committ to a long term, serious relationship. If you are ready to committ, you don't want this guy because he is too flakey. Find someone else.
2007-10-23 15:06:17
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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