i'm a woman, and i just drew attention to something that other women do that is self-serving. and i get someone asserting that i must be male.
why is that?
are women not allowed to call each other on their misbehavior? it can only be a man that finds fault with women?
doesn't that feed into the whole "gender war" thing? if you're not 100% in agreement, then you must be a man?
comments?
2007-10-23 07:08:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
M- i think you're spot on!
2007-10-23 07:23:57 · update #1
kirey- good point! i don't "beat around the bush" and i despise sugar coating things. i am blunt. some see it as abrasive. any MANY see it as "unlady like"
2007-10-23 07:26:52 · update #2
If I didn't have a clearly feminine avatar and name, I'm sure I would have been accused of the same. Just be glad you are a free-thinking individual.
2007-10-23 07:13:24 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer C 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I don't pay attention to the apparent gender of an avatar - apparent because I too could choose to appear like a male or asexual if I chose. I only pay attention to what's stated.
But you're definitely right about assumptions feeding the 'gender war' thing - which by the way, holds true with what appear to be male avatars - if you're not 100% in agreement then you must be a woman - or wuss at best.
2007-10-27 07:01:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right.
I have a female avatar and name and yet I have still been accused of being a man, just because I don't conform to the normal gender rules.
We have more right than the men to call each other out and yes, it does feed into the gender wars to be called a man because you are not in agreement or because you are more outspoken and opinionated.
Unladylike indeed! LOL
It is true that I've never been accused of being a lady!
2007-10-23 07:35:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's really unfair that people do this, and yes, it does feed into the whole gender war. I call girls out on stuff all of the time, and can't remember the last time I got a positive response out of it. (Maybe that's why most of my friends are guys.)
Obviously, I don't know the situation to which you are referring, but I'll share some of my thoughts anyhow... Many women want someone who is going to empathise with them, and allow them to carry on about whatever their complaint is. Since other women are more likely to do this than men, if a particular woman doesn't it's easy to assume they are male. If they later realize (or are already aware of) your gender, they either feel threatened or offended, thus act with some form of aggression or anger (i.e. "well, if you're not a guy, you're a lesbian"). In addition, there seem to be some sort of unwritten "Rules of Womanhood" that we're all supposed to inherently know. I like manuals, damn it. Why should one gender respect rediculous rules of boundaries and pity-parties just because they have the same anatomy?
These aren't facts, just my thoughts based on 25 years of experience being the "odd girl out".
2007-10-23 07:22:38 · answer #4 · answered by M. 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way and I am most definately female. I think what it is, women aren't use to being so direct when it comes to calling them on their issues and faults (but yet we talk freely about everything else). We have been conditioned to sugar coat it or say it in a non-threatening, unhurtful way and we do this to men too. And if we don't then we get called a nag, shrew, b**ch, etc... I call people on issues as it comes up regardless of their gender. And I am so sick of people gender-izing our emotions, selves, and everyday speech.
2007-10-23 07:23:20 · answer #5 · answered by kirey65 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Insecurity. They are surprised, angry and caught unawares that 'one of their own' is taking them up on their web of lies and deceit that they use to spin their arguments.
The Berlin wall stood for 40 years (or thereabouts). How did it come down? Internal strife. Internal dissatisfaction. Revolt. In the same way, this female superiority dogma is going to crumble to dust. I look forward to the day men and women are treated as equals. The pendulum has swung too far the other way from what it was a century ago. It's time we returned it to the sensible, middle position.
2007-10-23 07:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by bovinotarian 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that will probably happen to me at some point in the future. It is difficult to be that kind of woman. I think some women (or girls) have the attitude that women must stick together. In my opinion, like minded people should stick together and we should all be out for the well being of the world as a whole. More would get done that way. Thanks for being assertive of your beliefs/opinions!
2007-10-23 07:18:22 · answer #7 · answered by Jewell 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't like sugar coating things or "beating aound the bush" either but I try to get my point across without using offensive language. I find that a lot of people who are direct like that do go too far. I don't like either extreme.
2007-10-23 07:35:26 · answer #8 · answered by RoVale 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
3/4 of women are this way, it's really as simple as that. They can call out men without evidence and with malice, but men can't call women out with evidence and without malice. I believe this will change in the next 5 - 15 years.
Keep up the good work.
2007-10-23 07:47:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Around this forum, the vast majority of people who have called women out have either been male, or have had female avatars/names. You're more ambiguous about it. I apologize on behalf of everyone here for any confusion.
2007-10-23 07:26:02 · answer #10 · answered by Rio Madeira 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋