wtf is her problem? she wanted this?

Question

ok...my wife and i seperated two months ago. she was the one that wanted it, she said that she wasn't in love with me anymore and wanted time to think. this completely tore me apart, because her and my daughter are all that i ever wanted in my life. over that time, we hugged and kissed each other a few times, so i thought that we were making progress in saving our marriage. but as it turned out we were not. about 3 wks ago, she told me that we were not going to get back together because we weren't right for each other, but she wanted to remain friends. now this really hurt me, and i acted like a real prick for a few days towards her, but i realized that i need to remain civil towards her for my daughter's sake, so i agreed to try and remain friends with her.
now i realized that i made some mistakes in our marriage, and i apologized so many times to her for them in the first two months of the seperation...i loved her so much, and i guess i always will in some way.

now here lately, i have tried my best to be nice to her. but now she is being a complete prick towards me everytime that i talk to her. she hangs up on me anytime we talk on the phone. i know that she is probably sleeping with someone else already, it hurts me badly, but i have to accept it.
what i want to know is why is she acting like this? she has no right to treat me this way, she is the one that broke my heart, and wanted the break up.

thank you for your answers. a majority of them were very helpful..thank you

Answer 1

Do you have a question?

Answer 2

You have to think about a relationship being a piece of paper. Apparently, you have admitted you made some mistakes; enough mistakes to make her want to leave you. That is like you crumpling up that piece of paper. Now you are trying to uncrumple it but it can never go back to a perfect sheet of paper so matter how hard you try or how sorry you are that you crumpled it up in the first place. She was probably being nice before because she doesn't hate you but she is probably still mad at you for the "mistakes" you made during the relationship. She's the one that got hurt so she is obviously going to take longer to get over these issues. And watching you try so hard to fix it now when you had every opportunity when you were married only further enrages her. Titling this post "wtf is her problem? she wanted this?" shows that you obviously lack understanding about her emotions. I'm sorry but you need to reevaluate how you think about her.

Answer 3

She is dealing with the heartache of a break-up too. She just has a different approach. If she can demonize you in her mind and turn you into an enemy, it is easier for her to let go and push you away. Sorry to say it, but you're better off without a person like that. If she really loved herself and loved you, she would have tried to fix things before she was pushed to the point of seeing leaving as the only option. But since she allowed it to progress to a point of no return, it shows that she is not mature enough to handle a serious relationship. She is not wife material. Kiss her goodbye. She's bad news for you and for the next poor sucker to fall into her little trap.

Answer 4

Hi... i'm sorry your marriage has come to this, and i'm sure you are struggling with painful feelings. So, the way you acted probably isn't abnormal.

It's a good idea to try to get along with each other, especially in the eyes of the child. You don't have to be "good buddies" with your wife, however. You really need to move on with your life the best you can.

Remaining involved in her life, such as a good friendship, will probably be painful for you and will prolong your agony.

You will have a lot of grieving to do, and readjusting to living. Your plans and goals will probably change, too.

Don't forget about YOU... do things you like, get out with friends.

take care of YOU.

Answer 5

I would be willing to bet you that she has someone else and is playing nice to either give her time to clean out the bank account and joint assets or to keep you from filing on her for grounds and initiating ugly divorce proceedings.

Hire a lawyer and a PI and do what you need to to protect your assets. You are probably screwed with regards to full custody of your daughter unless your wife is really screwed up as in crazy, abusive or such (a la Britney).

I am so sorry you are going through this, but you need to take the blinders off and protect yourself and your daughter as best you can. If your wife really just wants space and this marriage is salvageable you will be in a much better position to accomplish this from a position of strength confidence, self-esteem and FULL DISCLOSURE of the whole picture, which you aren't getting while you are in apologetic appeasement mode. Hang tough. You didn't say whether she moved out or you did--possession is 9/10th's of the law, so if your stuff is there and you are paying for the house in any way shape or form, you'd better protect yourself--again ask the lawyer what you are within your rights to do as far as getting stuff, freezing assets, splitting accounts, or kicking her out, etc.

Answer 6

I think her problem is, she fall in love with someone else even before you both breakup..
she said that she need time to think as she know that you are not good enough for her but, have to consider your daughter.
the only way you can use is, get help from your daughter. the daughter is the connection between both of you now and she is the key for saving ur marriage.

Answer 7

Well, if she is not feeling it any more, there is no way to force it. You should move on and don't push in the other direction. Know that you have a daughter and that she is more important at the moment. Don't use your daughter to get to your wife. Never screw with a mother and her baby. I still love the man I married, but he is no longer that man. Sometimes we just grow in different directions.

Answer 8

You have guts becuase you admitted to your mistakes and that is good. But she will not get back with you must have hurt her in some way that everytime she thinks baout she just wants to move you can say sorry million times nd it will still not help I suggest you think and move on he friend splay with your daughter watch her but your wife will move on and don;t be surprised when she does get a new man becuase she will look for it move on your self and learn form your mistakes.

Answer 9

maybe it was a test? See sometimes all the passion goes out and we feel we need to shake things up! We want you to argue with us and beg us to come home.Maybe she is mad you didnt beg.You didnt fight hard enough for the relationship maybe. I remember once being furious with a guy because he let me leave when he could of compromised and worked it out .See I just dont have enough info to tell you.I dont know what all was said between you.Im very sorry for your troubles though.Good luck.

Answer 10

What are you saying to her? We are only getting one side of the story. No matter how much you "love" someone you can still sometimes inadvertently say hurtful things. By your tone or just outright. You don't have to be friends, you just have to be civil to one another. And whether or not she is sleeping with someone else is none of your business....plain and simple.

Answer 11

she may be afraid if she remained friends with u that she would go back with u, so she has to act as mean and nasty as she can.she may be feeling some guilt too, however not enough to restore the marriage and forgive u.