I am married to a wonderful man who is a wonderful father to our new baby girl and i have absolutely no interest in any other man...so here is my problem...i have an ex-boyfriend from 4 years ago who has landed himself in prison he has been writing me letters and sending me cards (they have been sent to my mothers house because that is where i lived the last time we talked) i want to write him back and let him know that i am married with a family now and that i do not think it is appropriate for me to correspond with him because i have moved on (and i did not think my husband would mind because i do not intend to keep in contact) but when i told my husband about wanting to do this he forbid me, saying he does not want me to talk to him at all...i think it is cruel to let my ex continue writing me and think that i am ignoring him (we had a very close relationship), so should i just write my ex-boyfriend and not let my husband know that i did it??? any advice would be much appreciated...
2007-10-23 06:12:59 · 12 answers · asked by Savannah's Mommy! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband is right--- DO NOT write to him--- it could start something that you are not ready for. Your ex is in jail-- he has nothing better to do than reflect and dredge up the past--- he has nothing to lose. You have everything to lose. I understand that you think it will just be a one time thing on your end, but it might not be. Normally, I would say to follow your heart, but I really think since you have already told your husband about the situation, and he has already voiced his opinion on it, then, you need to just not write.
2007-10-23 06:57:57 · answer #1 · answered by Joy L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 28 years and in the beginning i did everything he wanted in order to keep the peace. That was a very big mistake on my part because he got use to me doing what he ask. Know matter how big or small i did it,if i had to do it all over again i would definitely put my foot down .
If you do this were does it stop,I'll tell you where it doesn't. You need to draw the line somewhere and i think it should be with this. You told him what you want to do so your not going behind his back.If you write your EX make a cope of it and after you mail it show your husband that way he won't think you are up to no good and if he gets mad,well he will get over it. We have got to stop letting our husbands control us like they do. You have a mind of your own so why do you need to get his permission to do what you think is right.
2007-10-23 06:35:54 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should respect your husband's wishes. He is trying to protect his family (you and your girl) and I think it's best. The guy is writing because he's lonely and hopes to have a relationship with you.
What I would suggest is having your mom write to him on your behalf letting him know that you are now happily married with a baby and that you and your husband hope the best for him, but that it's now inappropriate for him to write you given the nature of the past relationship.
2007-10-23 06:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by tonyend2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your mom to send him a letter and let him know you are married. She can explain it to him or even a friend or someone else.
Your husband's feelings should come 1st now since you are planning on being with him for life ;)
2007-10-23 06:43:50 · answer #4 · answered by Ann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is a problem with writing him back to tell him you are married and want to be left alone. I'm not sure what you're husband thinks is going to happen if you do that. If you DON'T do that he'll just keep sending them. Is that what he wants?
Either way don't lie to your husband.
2007-10-23 06:29:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should understand that you need to give your ex closure. Let him help you right the letter and make sure he knows you dont want your ex back you just want him to know your happy and he needs to stop the letters. He should be alittle more supportive. I would not advise to do this behind his back you would be making more problems for your relationship with your currrent partner.
2007-10-23 06:50:08 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! Don't go behind your husband's back, if he found out he would be hurt and angry...have the letters sent back to prison and he will get the hint. You can't feel bad for him, you have to think of yourself and your family.
2007-10-23 06:20:07 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't owe your ex anything, you owe to be true to your spouse and if that is what he wants you better do it. If you write to the guy explaining things, he might twist it to be meaning something else ( I had an ex that did this to me). Best advice is to drop all contact and do nothing.
2007-10-23 06:40:19 · answer #8 · answered by Yummy♥Mummy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's your ex. and you don't owe him an explanation.
it's a shame he's in jail, but that's not your fault.
i suppose that, if your ex hasn't gotten a response after a period of time, he will stop writing. you can always put RETURN TO SENDER on the letters and return them.
yes you can write your ex, too. what you do is entirely up to you.
2007-10-23 06:22:09 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess you can have you mom drop his a SHORT note and tell him that you are married and no longer want to stay in touch with him. Keep it short and simple.
This guys is not worth causing problems in your family.
2007-10-23 06:20:32 · answer #10 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋