I'm pregnant, do u think I'm ready?

Question

I just found out I'm pregnant by my boyfriend of 2 years. I'm 24, and I don't know if I'm ready. Am I going to regret this. I feel like I haven't lived my life to the fullest though. I mean I have a pretty good job, my own apartment, nice car. I like to be able to just get up and go. I'm also afraid that this will break up me and my boyfriend, because it does everyone else. This is it, its not about me anymore. I won't be able to go out when I want to. Everybody says my feeling will change once I have the baby. But is that for everybody? I just feel like the rest of my life will be waking up at 4:00 in the morning to get the baby to daycare, get to work at 7:30, pick up the baby fro mthe daycare, and thats it. Somebody be real with me.

Answer 1

I am 24 also, and 17 wks 3 days pregnant!! Mine was not planned at all and the father and I were only dating about 5 months! When I found out I cried for 3 days straight, thinking about all of that stuff too... I was the social butterfly/party girl, we planned to travel the world, etc. and everything felt as though it came crashing down on me. I do own my own house and car and have a good job, so that has helped. My bf surprised both of us by being excited about the whole thing! Although shocking, he supported my decision either way (I personally couldn't get an abortion - but don't look down on those who do). If you choose to have this child, you do have to make a huge adjustment mentally, and it will probably take your bf even longer for this adjustment. But I looked at it this way - I'm having the baby, I can either be upset about it or excited for the first life I am bringing into this world!! As each day passes we are getting more and more excited and finding all the positives in having a child - you can still go on trips, you can get a sitter now and then to watch your child while you go out, you'll be a younger mommy who can play with the children and watch your grandchildren grow, you may have a difficult time having a planned pregnancy if abortion is chosen (see it in friends), you two are fertile (so many try and can't have), etc. My bf and I are making a home together now, he moved in, we are doing some rennovations (new flooring, painting, etc.), and all we can think of to get ready for this important part of our lives - something special we made together!

Although life altering and somewhat difficult at times, a baby will bring so much love and joy into your life if you let it! What's done is done, it's time to change the way you view life.... father or no father, you can do this. Everything happens for a reason - it all shapes who we are....

Answer 2

hi

i'm 23 and about to have my 2nd baby. i had my first when i was 17!! trust me i had to grow up FAST!! it sounds to me like u are ready in every way except emotionally... u have a good job, a nice car, ur own place etc.. u dont have to get up at 4:00 am to get the baby to daycare its really not that big of an inconvenience. u will get on ur own routine and figure things out that work best for u. I know u could have this baby and be just fine! at the same time tho, if u really feel like u can't raise a child right now there are other options, but the way u worded your question i think u know ur ready ur just a little scared.

Whatever decision u make u have to live with it for life i wish u the best of luck and just know 24 is a great age to start a family!!! congrats

Answer 3

I totally understand where you're coming from. I found out that I was pregnant with my first daughter 2 months after my 18th birthday, and was married shortly after she was born. Did it change my life? Definitely. Did I struggle, and have difficult times? Of course, what parent doesn't?

Don't look at pregnancy as a sign that your life is over. You don't even have to look at it as though you *have* to get married, a lot of people decide against marriage these days. Take your time determining what you want to do in your relationship. Your boyfriend and you should be discussing your options.

There are a lot of pro-life responses that could come from this question. With my first (11 years ago), my boyfriend and I looked into adoption because we weren't sure we were ready. Neither of us had gone to college or were living on our own or able to sustain ourselves. After the first ultrasound photo, all that changed. The first time you feel the baby move, it will change. It's natural to have anxieties and hesitations, but do yourself the favor of being honest with your boyfriend, and your doctors. Surround yourself with a good support system; you'll need it, and be very thankful you did it later.

Bottom line is, yes, it's scary. Yes, you're probably ready. Having a baby doesn't mean that you no longer have a social life, it just changes it a bit. Try to look at things from a positive perspective.

Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

Answer 4

You want me to really be real with you, or do you want me to say what you want to hear? I will be real.
First of all you are 24 that old enough to have a child- actually being that age, you should know that anytime you chose to have sex, you have a chance of becoming pregnant. Regardless if you are "ready" or not should not be the issue- the issue should be what is the most responsible thing that I can with this child, that I conceived? Abortion- not a good choice- and you asked me to be real with you, so here it goes
1- your baby's heart has been beating since 3 weeks after conception- most likely you did not find out you were pregnant until after that.
2- from the moment of conception that baby has life.
3- long term problems from abortions do happen
a- torn uterus
b- excessive bleeding
c- infections
d- failed abortions that mean more procedures
e- possible miscarriages later, and/or cannot conceive
4- emotional problems occur as well- you will never forget taking the life of your child. I know because I use to counsel women, who shared this with me all the time

If parenting is not for you- then please consider adoption- it gives life to your child. There are many , many couples out there, that cannot conceive, and they are on long waiting lists. Why does it take so long to adopt today? Because 4,000 babies are aborted a day in USA alone.

I am adopted and have 2 adopted kids , and I can say, that I and my son and daughter have so much love for our birth moms for choosing life.

One more real thing here, your comments seem to me to be very selfish- granted children can be hard at times, but they are also blessings- You have someone else other then yourself to think about now.

Answer 5

If you feel you can not devote your life to your child or simply do not WANT to, you are NOT ready! Not everyone changes their feelings once the baby is born...my boyfriend's kids mom left them after she had 4 and decided she wasn't "ready"...I know she should have figured THAT out after (or preferably before the first!)
Look into giving the baby the best life you can and if that means your feelings don't change about becoming a mother, try adoption.
And not EVERYONE breaks up because of a baby...I'd like to say most babies are planned and are God's grace, but these days that usually isn't true.
Hopefully next time you will think about this and take proper precautions if you are going to continue to have sex.

Answer 6

Hi ya your not alone I'm 25, and i thought the same now me and my ex aren't together but it had nothing to do wit the baby as we didn't find out till after we split up.. any how i was so afraid of doing this alone and was afraid i wouldn't love my baby everything went threw my mind and i have nothing to show for my life i live with my parents etc, you on the other hand have all you are well set up and let me tell you your feeling will change and you will look forward to your new arrival I'm 10 weeks at mo and as time goes on i find myself getting more excited and cant believe Ive been blessed with this i believe everything happens for a reason and your in a loving relationship so please don't worry if i can do this on my own you can also you've everything as i said your well set up already and i wish you the best and congrats x

Answer 7

Girl, it will be a tough road sometimes, but you can do it.

First, it is 9 months for a reason. This is to prepare mentally and all the other stuff.

Second, no one....is every ready, seriously, whether you plan it or not...many people get scared and worry about these same things.

Just stay level headed, take one day at a time, and I promise things will be fine.

I had all of these same thoughts, with my unexpected "surprise" baby....i am ok...it's been 4 months and I just breathe when i get overwhelmed and take one step at a time. In no way will your life be ruined...on the contrary....I might just bet, this will be the best thing in the world to you when your bebe arrives!

Smile! Congratulations!

Best of Luck to You.

Answer 8

It's nice to see someone who is being realistic but everyone is right, your feelings do change when you have your own baby. Your routine Monday through Friday might be as you described it but that why weekends will be so important and special. You can plan special moments with you and your baby and friends (and maybe friends with babies). Make the little moments special, such as bathtime, rocking the baby to sleep, etc. I used to smell my daughter's beautiful head when I would rock her to sleep and I remember the moment and almost cry whenever I think about it -she's 2 1/2 years old now and that moment I remember was when she was only weeks old. Having a baby is a lot of work but it is soooo worth it. Trust me, I'm pregnant with my 2nd.

Answer 9

WHen this baby starts to kick and grow more inside you you will defiantely be ready. There will be some tough times and ay care and babysitters are NOT cheap, but you can do it. Hopefully you will have the help and support from your boyfriend. Life for you is not over. There will still be times that you can go out with friends and there will definately be times where you just need to get away. Trust me. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

Answer 10

do i think ur ready?????
im 19 weeks pregnant in one more day and i just went to the doctor yesterday and found out that im havin a boy......
im excited!! a baby is a very precious gift from god....
the thing is is that im only 16 years old and im still in school.
so if i can do this so can you.
plus you are lucky that u and ur boyfriend are still together because me and my baby's daddy aren't and he is smokin crack.....
so you are a lot more ready than me.
suck it the hell up and do the damn thing,because you are right.you are carrying ur baby inside you and it's not all about just urself anymore. now you need to put ur child first and you are just gonna have to get over the fact that this is the way it is and mature a whole lot.
good luck chick.
you said be real so im bein real.