Funny instructions?

Question

1. On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
(ah well, ill just have to find a magic carpet instead)
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
( really? I thought I was imagining them to be there)
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
( I wouldn’t do that if I were you)
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
(why? Is everything going to spill out if I don’t?)
5. On a New Zealand insect spray -
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
( are you sure this stuff works?)
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
7. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.
(really? I thought that the coke would come out of the bottom through an imaginary hole)
8.On a Sears hairdryer – DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
9.On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter special!)
10. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
(And that would be, how?)
11. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) –
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(Damn! Too late, I just turned it over)
12. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
13. On a Korean kitchen knife –
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Hey! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
14.On most brands of Christmas lights -- "FOR INDOOR OR OUT DOOR USE ONLY”
(as opposed to...what use in outer space)?
15.On a Japanese food processor -- "NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit confused)
16. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
(Really? Peanuts contain nuts? )
17. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm glad they cleared that up.)
18. On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(aw! I was hopping this would stop the chainsaw faster.?)
19.On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(frozen dinners? I think I will just eat it as it is seeing as its ‘JUST’ a sujestion)
20.On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
21.On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "DO NOT DRIVE OR OPPERATE MACHINERY AFTER USE (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
22.On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
23.On a child's Superman costume -- "WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

lol, sorry, i dunno why i said genitals, i heard that word before and thought it was another word for fingernails but i just looked it up now and well........LOL it wasnt what i had in mind.

Answer 1

i like the small appliance ones: do not use while bathing
do not use while sleeping

Answer 2

I saw a road sign that said 'warning road wet when raining'

it was funny as hell, and then i almost drove into a bush lol

Answer 3

awww thats why i hit the ground after jumping off of the shed.. damn superman costume

Answer 4

I am only sorry that I can only give 1 star...this is funny as hell

Answer 5

Hahaha! Wow that made me laugh!
Thanks for that!

Answer 6

haha! I LOVE THIS! im gonna send it to my friends! where did you find this? my favorite is number 23. so cute! thanks for the laugh!

Answer 7

funny

Answer 8

you can't stop a chainsaw with your genitals??

Answer 9

This is some Funny stuff, Thanks for the Laugh

Answer 10

Nice! Thanks for the entertainment!