Can anybody tell me why? My boyfriend has been seeing a married women behind mine and her husbands back they have been together 2 years we have been together 1.
He says he can't get her out of his heart, he says in his mind he wants to be with me and he loves me but his heart won't let him move on.. He says they have this "dream" together. She has told her husband 3 times and all 3 times couldn't leave him.. Last week I packed my bags and was leaving him but he begged me to stay said he can't imagine life without me, only now I have found emails he has sent to her while she is away with her husband and kids... He says he wants nothing more than to love me whole heartedly. So why cant he leave this women alone? Is it just the whole fantasy thing. Believe me I know I should leave him but can't bring myself to do so. I have spoken to this other women who has told me she can't tell her husband again... Will he ever get over her?
2007-10-23 03:37:55 · 22 answers · asked by claire s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He works with this women, he left his wife of 20 years for her but then she couldn't go through with it. He met me 1 year into the affair after she had ended it coz she couldn't leave her husband.
He said there is only her that could ever tempt him away from me.. What I don't get is this bi**h told me to stay and work it out with him because he loves me. I just feel like such a fool for listening and wanting to believe the lies he keeps telling me.
2007-10-23 03:47:46 · update #1
What your all saying is so true, I just wish I was strong enough to break this cycle.
2007-10-23 03:49:55 · update #2
Seriously, what is your deal? You stick with this douche as seconds while he's off trapsing with a married woman. You really want this guy in your life who can sleep with another man's wife all the while sleeping with you? Are you that insecure that you can't just walk away and not look back? Are you seriously going to wait around until things end with them? Geeze...
2007-10-23 03:44:02 · answer #1 · answered by CC 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Whether or not he ever gets over her is irrelevant. He is wasting your time. How many times are you going to pull the trigger before you do permanent damage? If you need a cause, join the Peace Corps. Why does he do this? IMMATURITY. He's one of those weak characters who likes to get all caught up in the drama and romance and just isn't happy unless he is. He just can't chill out. He can't be happy unless he's in non-emergency situations. There are these types of men out there. It's a mind and time suck. It's not your fault; it's just the way he is and he is not going to change. A few men on this planet are wired this way. In fact, he is cheating on you and you are asking if you should stay? NO! Why would he ever stop? "Oh, you're cheating and you love another. Let me help you through this..." Come on! You packed your bags once. Pack them again, this time for good. Chalk it up to a learning experience and though you had a year long emotional investment, be thankful it wasn't a day longer. My friend is in your EXACT situation. This year, it's year 14... I wish you the best and strength.
2007-10-23 10:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by MWestbrook 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok I can say this for a fact you need to get out of there from what you are saying here, He's a chronic Cheater
No Matter what he says hun he will always have someone on the side girl
I mean he's saying I love you i can't see my life without you but I wanna be with this other woman more than i wanna be with you
And yet he's telling this other woman that he loves you
Sorry to say here girl but this guy don't know the difference between the truth and a lie anymore
He's telling you that you mean a lot to him but you really don't mean that much to him in that i can't let go of this other woman i mean come on
I had a similar experience with the guy that i am with now and i told him here's my number when you make up your mind who you want gimme a call cause i won't be a yo-yo or i won't be played like this
You need to make up your mind is what i told him and i tell you this much it just about killed me emotionally because i loved him so much but i walked away from him
I knew there was a real possiblity that i wouldn't hear from him again but i knew that i deserved better than someone that couldn't make up his mind between 2 women
And for a long time i didn't hear from him so i ended up getting married long story short i am in the process of a divorce from that jerk but then years later i ran into the guy that i am with now and after making sure there was no one else in his life in that aspect of things we decided to give it one more go
And that was 6 or so years ago .
Yes we've had our problems like any other couple but we get through it
Bottom Line girl you deserve better than a guy who can't make up his mind between 2 women
2007-10-23 11:20:12 · answer #3 · answered by rebel_angel031 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Strike one, he has anything to do with a parried woman!Strike two, he is sending her emails when she is not with her husband and undoubtedly behind your back. Strike three, he is telling you that they have this dream together! pack your bags and move out. this is going to bring you only heart ache because even if he were to forget this woman, he thinks there is nothing wrong with cheating so would cheat on you at the drop of a skirt or blouse. You can and will do better than that when you find someone not into playing mind games who is more interested in you than stringing you along until he can do better. It might hurt now but the happiness you feel when you find the right persn will make up for that, I assure you!
2007-10-23 10:50:31 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're the one enabling this thing to continue. Are you that afraid you won't be able to find another man, one who could be more faithful? He's got too good of a thing going to want to ever stop what he's doing, no matter what you want to believe or what he tells you to put up with. He'll do what he's doing until you either leave him or go to the husband and let him know what's still going on with them. And then look out for trouble for all. You need to leave and start fresh.
2007-10-23 10:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, i feel that you are his 'spare tire'. The woman he truly loves is the married woman. You are his #2 in love. It is going to be very hurtful and frustrating if you hang on to this relationship. If you dont give him an ultimatum, its either you or her, then i am afraid this situation wont get any better. He has to decide once and for all. He and the married woman cant be having the cake and eat it at the expense of you and her husband. This is ridiculous !!!!!
Move on in life. You deserve a better man. Give yourself a break. Be courageous and decide what is best for you.
2007-10-23 11:43:47 · answer #6 · answered by Sal SR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's so sad, I'm sorry you are going through this. My husband had a small fling once so I know something of what you are suffering. We are still together but it was different, he wanted me more than he wanted her. If I was you I would give him an ultimatum and mean it, you cannot change him but you can change yourself. If you are able, tell him that choosing to continue the relationship with her means choosing to end the one he has with you. You do risk him leaving, but you would know once and for all. You are going to risk your sanity if you let it continue, believe me I know, I nearly went mad trying to work out if they were still in touch, it's the lies that destroy more than the fact of the affair.
We had counselling through my church, is that something he is willing to try? He may honestly want to work it out with you but needs help giving help this other woman, like an addiction.
try www.marriagebuilders.com for advice.
2007-10-25 08:30:50 · answer #7 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he can't get over her because deep down he is still hoping that she will leave her husband so they can still be together. I'm sorry if that seems harsh but that's how it seems to me from here.
The best thing you should do - leave this guy now. Really. You deserve to have someone's full attention. It may seem hard at first but once you get over things, I'm sure you will be a million times happier.
2007-10-23 10:51:38 · answer #8 · answered by yahnyinlondon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whether he gets over her or not, he will always have some lady on the side... he is full of crap and is a liar... yes, leave him... or you will end up getting aids from one of his "fluzies" =(... you gotta leave him... he likes having 2 women at the same time, and probably brags about it at work... !!! leave!!! ugh... yet, another time I want to come through the computer and smack some sense into someone, lol! good luck! may you be strong, because he's a whimp for sleepin' w/ 2 women... loser...that he is!!!
2007-10-23 10:43:13 · answer #9 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you could always come and stay with the wife and me but we gotta keep it quiet lol sweety leave the turd before any of his crap rubs off on you you deserve to be the number 1 priority in a decent guys life it will be far happier days for you
2007-10-23 10:47:12 · answer #10 · answered by the_orc_1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋