That is what my wife has told me.She is not giving me much of her time if any.She never calls me,yet she will talk and call her girl friend,chat buddies ect. She is sleeping in spare room now.Can I convince her in some way to try again? What would work for you all?
2007-10-23 02:55:55 · 12 answers · asked by IneedHer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No affair on my part.Has she had one?I do not believe so.Not physicly anyway maybe emotionaly connected with these other people for witch I am not allowed to be apart.
2007-10-23 16:51:12 · update #1
you can't force her to fall in love with you, i'm sorry. if she began acting like this abruptly, then she might be seeing someone else.
but maybe she's just mad at you. it's up to you to find out.
2007-10-23 03:00:33 · answer #1 · answered by ishouldhavebeenafarmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends entirely upon whether she's willing to let you work on it. I think you should see a counselor. If she's done, though and not willing to work on it, I don't know that there's anything you can do.
That being said, you can still do things for her. Think back to when you were trying to date her, what would you have done?? If and when she does talk to you, listen and be supportive, if she's talking about her friends (male or female) don't get jealous, pay attention. Send her some flowers at work if she seems like she's having a bad day. Leave a sweet note for her in her bedroom. Make her a nice dinner even if she's not going to be eating it with you. And don't call to make sure she got the flowers or beg for feedback on the dinner, just be there.
There's a school of thought that love is or can be a conscious decision. I don't know whether I believe it or not, but if you make your wife feel loved without being intrusive you might help her remember why she fell in love with you in the first place.
2007-10-23 10:50:13 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any idea about how things got to this point? Something must have been wrong for things to go this far? Did you have an affair? Is she? Have there been a lot of problems in your marriage?
You are going to have to get her in a setting where she will actually TALK to you about what happened. That whole "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" stems from something else.
However, once a woman decides that she doesn't love someone anymore, it's almost impossible to turn that around. I'm sorry - just being honest. It's unfortunate, but many men will push us until we don't care anymore and then it's just too late and there is no going back.
2007-10-23 10:00:29 · answer #3 · answered by nite_angelica 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend counseling. All marriages go through a time when the love is at a low ebb. No one and no relationship can keep that "in love" glow going all the time. The sheer adrenaline of it wouldn't even be healthy. The thing is you have to work through those times. It doesn't seem like your wife has reached the emotionally mature place she needs to be in to deal with that. Perhaps counseling would give her a chance to understand it's just low tide right now, and give you two the tools to build a solid foundation again.
2007-10-23 10:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by SS109 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, get the book "Love Must be Tough" by James Dobson. Next, read it and apply the principles - it is difficult to do but the only thing that I have seen work to rebuild a marriage on a solid foundation.
Basically it is about getting a backbone, setting limits and withdrawing yourself from an unhealthy situation. As you withdraw, if there is any love left in her, she will re-approach you. Good luck.
2007-10-23 10:01:53 · answer #5 · answered by Kim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think once the love is gone...that's it. You can't make someone feel the same way you do, I've expierenced that first hand and it's the worst thing in the world. Then again, hopefully this is just a phase and she'll realize how much she has been neglecting you. Plan out a whole night and put her in the spotlight.
2007-10-23 10:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by StarStruck 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships run their course and sometimes when the romantic love is gone, it's just gone. Doesn't mean there aren't still feelings for you, but that spark cannot always be rekindled (especially depending on why it ended and how long ago).
Suggest couples counseling and beyond that, you may want to just go ahead and proceed with going your separate ways...more painful to live together as roomies, when you want more, than to be apart where you can clear your head and move on with your life.
2007-10-23 09:59:08 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't "feel it" for you anymore, then there isn't much you can do. Seems like the two of you have grown apart.
You could ask her if she'd be interested in trying to rebuild your marriage. And suggest marriage counseling.
I stopped sleeping with my boyfriend because i lost respect for him -- his actions were abominable! for me, there was no way to repair it.
Maybe things will work out for you. You could consider talking with her.
take care of you, otherwise.
2007-10-23 10:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever someone hands you a phrase with the word "BUT" in the middle of it, believe the part that comes after "BUT".....the first part of the phrase is just meant to soften the blow.
2007-10-23 09:58:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think your wife is telling you that " i love you but i'm not in love with you" means she loves you bec. you've been a part of her life and she only cares for you. she doesn't love you in way as her lover and her husband. i'm sorry if she feels that way for you. consider a divorce bec i don't see any point of continuing this relationship. give yourself a chance to be happy and in love with woman who's in love with you period.
2007-10-23 10:07:47 · answer #10 · answered by isla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋