My husband and I have been together for over 7 years, married over 3. We have an almost 2 year old son. Our sex life is the pits right now. Even before I got pregnant I was uninterested in sex. Now it's even worse. I just have no desire or motivation for it. I feel bad for my husband and try to give it up now and then. But he knows I'm not really enjoying it and he doesn't want just "obligation" sex.
I don't know what to do to help my sex drive. I love my husband and am attracted to him. I just have no interest. I happen to be on prozac which I know can lower your sex drive, but I have to be on prozac. That's not an option.
Any advice please? Serious responses only.
Thanks.
2007-10-23 02:41:52 · 21 answers · asked by It's just me 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should add that I had this low sex drive problem BEFORE I was on prozac. I think the prozac is making it worse, but the core problem existed way before that. I have definately reassured my husband, but he is obviously still frustrated.
2007-10-23 03:03:59 · update #1
You need to talk to your doctor about it. You need to talk to your husband about it. Make sure that he knows that it isn't him. There is just something that is going on with you.
Talk to your doctor.
2007-10-23 02:46:20 · answer #1 · answered by mamabee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation is very hard on a marriage.I have been married for 18 yrs.I went through the same thing.I was only married a year before my first child was born.But my sex drive was fine until after our first child came.It was couple of years before I got my drive back.It could of been the lack of spontaneity.So what we did was..My husband or I would surprise each other in unusual locations in our home.At unusual times as well.We would come on to each other a different way than usual. Have you done Kegal exercises?That could help.Or just exercising more. We also tried some mild sex videos.Or even just Cinamax after dark is good.You know our bodies and sex drives change often in our lives.You may need to learn how make yourself feel good and or bring yourself to an orgasm before your sex drive gets better.You could try a female sex enhancer,a small sex toy or even some Aphrodisiac Oil from an Adult store locally or by mail order if your uncomfortable.It worked for us.Good Luck.
2007-10-23 03:53:28 · answer #2 · answered by t b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't lose the Prozac if you need it. I'm sure you've explained all this and the Prozac's effects on you, to him. The low down that I've learned over the years is this: if a man thinks he can't meet your needs, you run a serious risk that he will stray. This includes the bedroom. You also run this risk when he isn't being sexually satisfied. This puts you in a catch-22. (I get this information from being married to a psychiatrist for a while and also having a friend in the 'adult entertainment' business; the majority of her clients were in your husband's situation and she wasn't shy to tell me stories of her work.) Here's what you need to do:
1) Seek personal counseling.
2) Lie like hell. (You satisfy me; all other men pale in comparison; you're the best; I am extremely attracted to you; I need sex from you; I think of sex with you, often; I love sex especially with you; I long for no other.) Say these things even if you think he already knows this. YOU MUST VERBALLY EXPRESS THIS!
3) Act. Put on lingerie. Lie that you're interested. Make him feel like a real hero in the bedroom. He must think you WANT him like crazy and that he also satisfys you. Others will dispute my post, but please trust me on this one, for the sake of your marriage. I wish you the best.
2007-10-23 03:01:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happens to a lot of women. Be sure to let him know that you love him and it's not him. Talk to your doctor. There are also some great sex books, one that I like is called "The great American sex diet". That should give you some new ideas, it's hard at first to even want to try but you have to make yourself try for him. This sounds awful, but you have to set a goal for sex a certain number of times each week and actually do it! Do that and try new things and you will get it back soon! :) There is a fun game called "A Hot Affair" an adult store should sell that. That's another way to help get the spark back too. Get creative!
2007-10-23 03:30:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try speaking to your doctor first he should be able to help you - don't be embarrassed as its a common side effect of prozac he will be used to seeing people with the same problem.
As for your husband how about trying to relive the time you first got together - try holding hands then progressing to just a kiss and then further until you feel ready for full sex! you never know it might reignite those feelings you had when you first met! Good luck.
2007-10-23 02:47:24 · answer #5 · answered by willt246 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to your doctor change the Prozac wellbutrin has no sexual side affects and I have had no sexual problems with medication you really want to get a handle on this it could cause real issues in your marriage and cause him to be tempted even if he loves you men are very sexual and have desires and you seem to have a good relationship so see your doctor and fix it also spice it up once you get started you may like it more than him Good Luck
2007-10-23 06:43:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wonderful that you are concerned about this, it shows how much you love your husband.
Talk to your Dr. about taking something other than Prozac that maybe won't kill your drive.
Figure out a way to fake it better. It's not fair for you to expect your husband to go without, and if you don't want him going elsewhere then you need to give it up anyway and not let him know you aren't enjoying.
2007-10-23 04:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Close your eyes and think about some romantic times that made you feel special and passionate.
Think of 10 things that help get you into the mood. Include every sense - especially sight and smell. Go buy some candles that have scents that you like, an outfit that makes you feel sexy, a cd of music that you like.
If you take the time to set the mood for yourself ahead of time you will likely find that this "special place" you create will get you in the mood even if you are not when you take the effort to set things in motion.
2007-10-23 04:51:18 · answer #8 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek some professional counseling services. Perhaps the meds you take now are not the cause, but they could certainly be a contributing factor. Most men will stray from a sexless marriage. I'm not saying they should, but they do. If you know you have symptoms that could get worse and hurt your marriage, you need to pull out all of the stops to save your marital relationship now before it gets any worse.
2007-10-23 03:12:10 · answer #9 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend is almost in the same predicament as you with the mental drugs, but what we have done is he waits to take the drug in the morning so we can do what we need to do... and it may help with the sex drive alittle... but you need to start feeling good about yourself is the big thing, go get some sexier things that you would not normally get for yourself, and your husband needs to be more of an ego booster for you i know with depression your really in need of nice and sincere comments, and sexy comments and i try doing that with him because he is down on himself as well... and starting out with the simplest thing like making out and nothing else, or holding hands while your out, just touching and kissing, all these things are starts...
2007-10-23 03:15:22 · answer #10 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that there is meds out there that increase sex drive... talk with your doctor about it and make sure that you can take it with Prozac. Or see if you can try a lower dosage or a different type of anti-depressant.
2007-10-23 02:52:38 · answer #11 · answered by L A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋