Something bothers me...She continues cell phone communication with two or three men she has had past relations with on about a monthly basis. She is gemini and I know of their social preferences which she explains as maintaining friendships that was there before me. Is this ok to continue? I discontinued my female friendships thinking of them as definite distractions from the relation I am in now. What do you think? By the way, we are middle aged and not that that means anything
2007-10-23 02:33:22 · 12 answers · asked by faa_dar_f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband and I both have friends that we dated in the past. In all cases, they transitioned to being friends long before we started dating, and even before neither of us had any interest in restarting the relationships. As long as it is definitely friendship and not anything else, it doesn't have to be a problem.
Look at your relationship. You've been together two years, and if you are talking about marriage, it seems like things must be going pretty well. Has your g/f ever given you reason to suspect that she has cheated on you or that she would even consider it? Does she have a history of cheating in other relationships? Has she tried to hide the fact that she is friends with these men? Does she avoid being with you to talk to them? Does she hide what they speak about?
If all those answers are no, I'd say you are pretty safe. It just comes down to trust. Do you trust her and has she acted in a way to be worthy of your trust? After all, there are always going to be men in your g/f or wife's life, whether it's these friends or co-workers or whoever else. It seems like having a lot of friends is her nature to, so why change something so big about someone you love?
It's definitely ok, but it's also very important that you be comfortable with it. Good luck!
2007-10-23 02:48:17 · answer #1 · answered by SS109 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say marriage is not the right option right now you should be asking yourself is she having a sexual relationship with any of these men? I would communicate with her and ask if you had female friends that you talked to how this would affect your relationship let her know you love her and that she needs to cut all ties with males she has previously been involved with or your relationship will not move forward. If she can't stop then there's more going on then a phone call...then move on there a plenty of women out there. Good Luck!!!
2007-10-23 13:14:29 · answer #2 · answered by Virgo Rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not something to take lightly, it is supposed to be til death do you part, so before you take the lifelong plung with someone you need to fully trust them and love them. Talk to your girlfriend and explain how you feel. Tell her that you think men of her past should be that....her past. Maybe she didn't know how much it bothered you, but if she does decide to keep talking to them, you have to decide you can trust her enough not to act and then you have to decide if that is the kind of relationship that you want. If you love someone always be open and try to make it work, but never settle because you need to love yourself first. I hope things work out for you.
2007-10-23 09:43:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a gemini and as someone that still talks to friends I can tell you that having someone that you still talk to from your past is not grounds for dismissal. If it truly bothers you then you need to express that to her regardless of them being friends before you came into the picture. Just know that if she's really into you then she won't have a problem with not talking to her friends. because your relationship should be first.
2007-10-23 09:46:03 · answer #4 · answered by tootsiebrownie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you can trust her to want to settle down. I bet is nothing to worry about. If your considering marriage, you should be open enough with her to discuss that it bothers you. I bet she will consider your issue, though I cant promise shes going tos top calling them.
2007-10-23 09:43:20 · answer #5 · answered by billgoats79 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keeping in touch with the x'es is pure trouble. They may just be on the shelf for a raining day.
2007-10-23 09:44:29 · answer #6 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hasn't anyone heard of having friends.
I have a friend of the opposite sex, we had a relationship a long long time ago, now we are just friends.
2007-10-23 09:44:47 · answer #7 · answered by countryguyhfc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it means something. You are not the only guy in her life. Dump her and look for someone faithful.
2007-10-23 09:37:52 · answer #8 · answered by Ranger 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I'd want to know why she feels it necessary to keep in contact with ex's. Don't seem right to me.
2007-10-23 09:41:31 · answer #9 · answered by Elt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally gave that all up when my hubby N i got together. didnt chat or phone them anymore. cut them outta my life. he didnt ask me to or anything. it didnt just feel right.
2007-10-23 09:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by Solicia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋