*Please note i am 14, a freshman
A Realm of Inexistence
In a land of simplicity, Honny J. ponders about another world, a world similar to his. He visualizes amazing improvements to his surroundings. Great erected buildings, tall and fearless. Houses levitating and cars floating astonish Honny J’s mind. Intrigued by his ideas, the middle-aged man sets off to work.
Carried by a gust of wind, Honny J. blissful arrives at his office. Honny J. looks at his wooden desk with loathing and frustration. He pounds his desk and shockingly the desk fractures. Cheap wooden pieces shattered resembling shocks of tears. Honny J. walks out of his office and sets sail for a mug of relief.
Dozed and sluggish, Honny J. falls into an endless slumber. Honny J. falls down from the depths of heaven and lands safely onto what appears to be the sidewalk. It was indeed strange how Honny J. had survived the terrible fall. Honny J. looked around his surrounding environment and surprises himself......
2007-10-23 02:01:26 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
in what he is bearing in mind. This is a true visionary he thought. Dazzling azure clouds gradually descended gracefully upon him. Automobiles ran by essence. No more pollution he thought. It seemed as though violence was departed. Wealth and prosperity were common in the judgments of Honny J. The realm in which he found himself was truly inspiring in the eyes of an ecclesiastic. Never did Honny J. fancy himself to wake up.
2007-10-23 02:01:52 · update #1
LOL honny.J is such a cool name
i made it up by using my real name Johnny
2007-10-23 02:10:18 · update #2
i will give you a 90/100
2007-10-23 02:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by arman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
93/100 Couple of statements could be constructed in a better way . Remember adverbs can make it flow easier but overall it was interesting and a job well done.
2007-10-23 03:30:59 · answer #2 · answered by Dave aka Spider Monkey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty good. 85/100
You use "Honny J." too much. Use some pronouns.
KEEP WRITING. WRITERS WRITE.
2007-10-23 02:09:08 · answer #3 · answered by Richard F 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd give you an 85 the most.
2007-10-23 02:08:28 · answer #4 · answered by jerseydevil480 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
97 because this is a fragment
Great erected buildings, tall and fearless.
Good job!!
2007-10-23 02:10:24 · answer #5 · answered by the big guy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
99999999/100
If that's not possible (lol) then...100/100
2007-10-23 02:10:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋