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I'm 23yrsold, currently live alone, and work 60hrs a week! I'm so tired of it, but my financial situation isn't giving me much room to do anything else at the moment. I have to come up with money for school, and pay off some previous debt as fast as possible, which I'm working on. I have a guy friend of mine, who I used to date & since then, we've been Friends With Benefits on and off for a couple years now. Well he's currently NEEDING a roommate, and is in a financial situation himself, and has asked me to move in with him, if I'd like, sharing a one bedroom with him, that way we could both get our finances back into shape and also be able to continue going to college. We almost have a business relationship of sorts, we respect each other, though we are not that close, and we hook up every once in a great while now. We both have steady jobs. My only question is, if i were to move in with him, would it be weird? Would this be a bad thing to do? Pros and Cons? He's 23yrs old too.

2007-10-22 21:16:09 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science Psychology

5 answers

Pro- It COULD be beneficial to you both if you buckle down, make a budget and keep to it.

Con- Not....too close contact with an ex sex partner means distraction from your goal.

Suggest you get a cheaper place, get a live-in nanny job (part-time), make a budget and stick to it. Train yourself now out of bad spending habits.

2007-10-22 21:25:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anna C 3 · 0 0

Brandi as I read your post I see several warning signs... 1. Financial stress 2. Broken trust 3. Emotional 4. Plays games You say "I do like this guy I'm talking about. I have feelings for him." Financial convenience in a situation that forces you to have intimate contact (one bedroom apartment) with someone you really don't trust will almost certainly force you deal with a situation that is far more stressful and emotional than what you are coping with right now. Having separate apartments, distance, and a busy schedule is the very thing that provides you with the necessary boundaries to maintain a friendship with benefits without emotional risk. If you had a girl friend asking you the same question knowing what you know "what would your answer be?" Remember "girl friend" someone you don't want to see get hurt! If the 60 hrs is pushing you to hard then look for a way to improve your income i.e. promotion, job change, profession change, etc. Good luck, James Possibility is not an accident, it's a choice! PS: Take care of you first! Once you are doing well then a relationship, regardless of the type, will have a much greater chance of working.

2016-05-25 00:15:32 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

Dear Brandi,

Forming a union with a life partner, i.e., an emotional bond, as well as an economic bond is a great idea. However, you are not proposing that, what you are proposing is a terrible idea!

Please, explore economic alternatives, e.g., student loans, part time education, bankruptcy, competent financial counseling, and a traditional roommate, i.e., sharing quarters where the relationship is purely economic.

Larry

2007-10-24 06:46:03 · answer #3 · answered by Larry 4 · 0 0

Moving in together may cause more problems then its worth. You stated that you have still have sexual contact at times, and for both of you that might be all that you need. With moving in you will loose your personal space and time to yourself. One of you might get attached to the other, and feelings might get hurt. Sounds to me he wants all he can get from you, sex and money, but without the pains of a commitment.
I suggest looking for a roommate with whom you have no sexual relationship with, to less complicate the living situation.

2007-10-22 21:44:56 · answer #4 · answered by JJ L 2 · 0 0

i wouldn't do it b/c of past relations with him,it could end up destroying your friendship.

2007-10-22 21:29:00 · answer #5 · answered by Marilyn n 2 · 0 0

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