My husband and I work oppsite shifts and we are always in a battle of who's doing what. He is tierd and so am I. I work nights and home doing all the mom things, making shcool runs, homework, you name it.
He comes home and does what he pleases. I need help on how do divide the work of our family. Don't get me wrong I love my husband. My question is how do we coinside together to get all the work done? It's been hard and it's taking a toll on our marrigae. I don't want him to fell like he'd doing all the work and I don't either, does anyone have the same life style and what do you do to make your and your familes life run smoother? My childern are 5 and 4. The chore wheel is not a solution, but rather a good idea. It's more of a battle between us. My oldest that is 5 helps when she is asked and my 4 year old, well he's 4 and you have to go behind him because he learning. My husbands fustrations are the same as mine, I just pick up the pieces if it does not get done.
2007-10-22 19:51:47 · 6 answers · asked by orangie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get a sitter for the weekend, both of you get refreshed and rested, sit down alone, and discuss it in a reasonable and adult manner, come to an agreement, and then go have some fun together, you need it. no put up or shut up about it.
2007-10-23 00:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about hired help? Get someone to come and clean the house once or twice a week. Don't expect your husband to share the load with you because he is a man and they have a hard time doing things around the house. Accept that role in your home as the top person to ensure that everything gets done. So, if your husband doesn't help you enough you need to figure out how you will get things done. Maybe you should cut down the amount of hours you are working if you can afford to. Is there anyone in your family that would help? These are all options that I have had to use. I also you paper plates and plastic utensils when I am too tired to wash dishes.
2007-10-23 03:17:17 · answer #2 · answered by lovely2u22 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down together and talk it out. Figure out what your 5 year old can do, and make sure she knows that Mom and Dad are on the same page. As far as the rest of your house things like putting the trash can out on trash day could be for who ever is home during the day, and maybe the person who is home at night, can make sure all the trash in the house makes it to the big can. Maybe there is a chore you REALLY don't like doing, and would be willing to do a few others if he will take care of that one thing for you. Think about what are daytime chores, verses things that may have to wait until after the kids go to bed etc, and divide it that way. I hate cleaning the kitchen floors, and matching white socks, so my husband will "trade" that for me doing other chores. It is not so much about the number of chores each of you is doing, as I am sure you have discovered, but a more equal load. It tool us awhile to get there, but we found a middle ground.
2007-10-23 03:05:07 · answer #3 · answered by HH6 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I work different shifts also. I do what I can and he tries to get the rest done. Sometimes that happens and sometimes it doesn't. Marriage is a partnership and everybody needs to share. Share the responsibilities. I would tell him that you need more help. Tell him what needs to be done and that you need to divide it. As a last resort I would come home and do as I pleased also. It will not take long for him to get the idea. Good luck.
2007-10-23 03:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's time that you two start working the same shift. Put the 4 year old in daycare. It will cost more however in the long run it will have for both of you to see what the other is doing as far as chores etc. Plus you will get to spend more time together.
2007-10-23 02:59:27 · answer #5 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make a list of the chores, place his name beside half and yours beside the other half. The following week switch.
If he or you have a problem with a chore then to bad, the chores and such need doing.
The kids must help, and they must be told why. You have to take the time to ask them to do what they can, don't expect to much from a 4 and 5 yr old (ahh- you should know that forget I said it).
Good luck, and don't get frustrated, you and your hubby need to just get a plan and stick to it. You can make it :-)
2007-10-23 02:59:37 · answer #6 · answered by Harmon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋