Why are some men scared of assertive women?

Question

Excellent answer Gnu Sense.

Size 2- I wholeheartedly agree.

Mick T- An interesting answer, thank you for taking the time to reply.

Keith M- You make an interesting point. Thank you.

CARMIE- You made a really important point.

MalcolmXY- And I will continue to do so in whatever guise you take on.
So I have made you open up yet another account.
It is to be hoped that by exposing the likes of you this forum becomes what it should be.

Object of its Ire- Excellent answer. Thank you.

Hopscotc- A really good response.
In my youth- many years ago, because I had a point of view I was called arrogant.
As I aged, and although I had the benefit of years on my side my opinions and views concerning fundamental issues did not change, I was called assertive.
Now having retired and been acknowledged by my government for my contribution to education I am called wise.
Interesting isn't it.

Guns fan- It has nothing to do with being perceived as tough.
It is having your opinions and views treated equally.

Object of its Ire- I visit 2 prisons here on a monthly basis.
The men incarcerated are there for many reasons.
Often their environmental circumstances led them into the criminal mindset.
These men and some will never see the light of day always say to me;
"Miss, I had no choice"
As free members of society we have freewill and can breathe the fresh air.
I tend to agree with some of them that their circumstances led them along their chosen path; however when guys are at your door threatening your family with shooters what actions would all of us take.
P.S. Take the phone off the hook- this is interesting stuff.

Answer 1

Yea, I tend to agree with some of the posters here. Many time the phrase "men just can't handle strong women" is nothing more than arrogance & excusing away bad behavior.

An unyielding & abrasive person needn't wonder why people don't want to be around them.

Nowadays nearly every woman seems to think of themselves & label themselves a "strong woman." Why is it that many of these "strong women" are married or in relationships with men?

If it's really true that men fear "strong women" then either married women & women in relationships aren't ever strong or that statement about the collective men's fear is pretty unfair & more nonsensical than factual.

Some men might prefer a submissive partner, but then again... Some women also prefer a submissive partner.

I realize that the original question was about "some men" & "assertive women", but I tend to hear a very similar statement in other circles as: "men just can't handle strong women" or "men are intimidated by strong women." My post was more about that sort of sentiment, but it still fits.

Answer 2

CARMIE raises a good point about "scared" not being the right word, especially in the current social context. It has become all too common a tactic to accuse one's opponent in a dispute with being scared about something. It's sort of like someone accusing you of being hysterical when you're justifiably angry, in order to get you flustered, insult you, distract from the issue, and to make a personal attack of weakness. This question has been posed so many times like this that it has become a commonplace. The word "homophobia" is another example of this tactic. Another example is the accusation, "You did that on purpose!", which, often as not, is wrong. No one has access to another person's inner mental states.
___That said, the expression "assertive woman" covers a lot of territory, from well-intentioned strong women dedicated to accomplishing good things to nasty, shrewish women who will use deception and manipulation to pursue selfish goals. Obviously, the latter are much less desireable characters to deal with, and criticizing them shouldn't be confused with "fearing" the former.

Answer 3

Study psychology... seriously. By nature, men tend to avoid conflict. Assertive women often create conflict. It just doesn't work. Most men learn this at a young age. Others marry assertive women and end up "hen-pecked".

Edit: Object of its ire, Criminal psychology is a different field of study and has nothing to do with assertiveness. Frankly I haven't studied it much. Why do men go and fight on a battlefield when they know they will probably die? Because they don't want to argue with their commanding officer. They're simply avoiding conflict. It's basic male psychology. Most men don't start arguments with their wives, more typically they agree with what their wives say to avoid conflict.

Answer 4

If you re-state the question as "why are some people scared of assertive people" you have your answer. It only makes sense that there are some people who are assertive and other people who are afraid of them. There are probably some people who are afraid of timid people. They're probably afraid the quiet person is hatching some plot that they're not talking about.

Answer 5

I don't think scared is the word, maybe they want to be the ones with the confidence to lead. I believe an assertive woman is more exciting to be around since guys wouldn't get bored with her.
Also a guy may not want to make the decisions on his own. The men that back away from assertive women don't want to hear any ones opinion but his own.

Answer 6

not only will they call the police they will kick their *** lol but yes not only are the punks scared of assertive women they are super scared of other men

Answer 7

Most of the time "assertive" is just a euphemism for overbearing or pushy.

Some women, in my experience, use the fact that men can't or won't sock them one in the mouth to their advantage. They get too full of themselves and let that "I'm a no holds barred new millennium woman that can kick butt just like a man" mind state get to their heads. In MY reality women and men have different strengths and weaknesses and combat and aggression aren't [necessarily] women's strengths.

With that said some men are afraid of strong people. On the outside these men look like ordinary guys but on the inside they are cowards. They won't associate with anyone assertive or strong minded and they'd rather have a doormat than a partner.

All in all, I think that women who think they don't have a man because they are "too assertive" might just be unappealing to most men who want someone to compliment them and not challenge and confront them at every turn.

Answer 8

Assertive people can be intimidating altogether. Men have social issues with the opposite gender. They're often not so good understanding their relationships' and assertive women put them to this uncomfortable task.

Answer 9

This is much like the question, "Why don't women like nice guys?"

Often the "nice guy" is overlooking any number of flaws that make him unattractive and ignoring the fact that he may just be setting his standards too high. Instead he gets resentful about women who reject "nice guys" like him., blaming them for failing to appreciate him, while congratulating himself.


I leave you to fill in the parallel.

EDIT

Object, I most certainly did answer, for anyone able to see the quite obvious parallel. But of course, if I do spell it out, I'll be accused of misogyny even though I'd just be making the same sort of observation I made about some men.

Answer 10

Their fear is derived from hatred. All fears are based on hatred and usually hatred is fuelled with ignorance. That leads to the reason why some men are scared of assertive women ...they haven't been taught any better.