Why do people grieve over miscarriages but have abortions?

Question

People grive over miscarriages.
Men, i.e. Scott Peterson can be charged for murder for the death of an unborn baby.
Abortion is a conscious decision to commit these acts yet they have different consequences. Why?

(This is not based on my opinion. You will not find my opinion in this question. It is just an attempt to generate discussion and hear different perspectives of logic.)

I know the difference between a miscarriage and abortion. People grieve when they lose something usually to death. So if you conisder miscarriage the death of an unborn baby, why isn't abortion the murder of an unborn baby? Scott Petterson was charged with two counts of murder, one for his unborn baby. Question is, where do we draw the line? Do we just say it's okay for a woman to kill her own unborn baby? Discuss that instead of giving the definition of each.

Under no other circumstances does the law give a special group the right to commit murder because of their rights. Why do you think this is different?

D and G Gifts Etc - Preemie babies born up to four months early can survive outside of the womb, however most states still allow abortions in the second trimester.

Can anyone offer analytical or even ethical persepctives?

Answer 1

The difference has long frustrated me. A miscarriage is called a "spontaneous abortion" and is considered as the body rejecting the pregnancy for some reason. I have a couple of cousins in my generation who have both suffered miscarriages. The younger one was so devastated that she blamed God -- and she was brought up in a very strong Christian home. It was just absolutely devastating to her. She's pregnant now and paranoid that something will go wrong.

The other cousin had a baby girl a few years ago -- her water broke 4 months into the pregnancy and now her daughter has to undergo all kinds of therapy and surgeries to try to get her to be able to walk someday: lack of amniotic fluid kept the baby from being able to move around in the womb. So the one leg that is the problem may never be suitable for walking. We're all praying for her. The child she had most recently was premature, but apparently "normal" so far, except for the underdeveloped lungs.

I think my cousins had strong emotions about their miscarriages because they felt from the moment they got pregnant that they loved the baby who was going to be a part of their life. So, they already viewed the "fetus" as a baby. Losing a young infant is just as devastating as a miscarriage for someone like that because they already consider the deveolping baby their child.

Some women have no idea what a fetus looks like. Many women are ignorant of just how human-like their baby is when they get an abortion. And the doctor performing the abortion doesn't tell her. Not because he wants the money, but because it would traumatize the woman more that way. Abortion is a very traumatic thing for some women. I had a friend at my church who had an abortion many years ago when she got pregnant just before her husband left her. Her parents talked her into it: the baby would be another mouth to feed (a burden), she would have to leave the baby in day care so she could work (another burden), and it would "ruin" her chances of getting a job -- most companies will not hire a pregnant woman. So, they talked her into it. She got the abortion and used to have nightmares in which her baby (as an infant and then growing older each year) visited her. She got therapy and her church worked with her to help her deal with the trauma she suffered. She now volunteers at a clinic for women who have unwanted pregnancies. They just got an ultrasound machine before I moved away. If the pregnant woman doesn't want her baby, they talk to her about what that would mean: there is almost always psychological trauma, there is a higher likelihood of getting cancer: breast, ovarian, and uterine, and that little thing inside their uterus isn't a blob at all, but a tiny baby. On an ultrasound, you can see the arms, legs, head, fingers and toes. Once the young woman is fully informed about what would likely happen if she had an abortion and sees that it is not just a mass of cells in her womb, she will more often than not choose to give the baby up for adoption once he/she is born. Some young women have even decided to raise the baby on their own.

I had a friend in high school whose sister had an abortion. Her mom was a tyrant (can a woman be a tyrant?) - control freak - and she knew her mom would beat her up about it (figuratively). She ended up hemorrhaging after the abortion and her mom had to take her to the hospital, so she didn't get away with it. She wanted the abortion because it would "hurt her future" as well. She felt that having a baby would prevent her from getting a college degree.

One thing that women I know who have had abortions have in common: the baby is seen as an unwanted intrusion in the life they planned for themselves. So, they just get rid of the problem by having an abortion. Some girls I've known who had abortions had them out of embarrassment. We lived in a small town. And the ones who had the abortions were all white. I, personally, feel it is a race issue. I've never known an African American or Latina woman who had an abortion. But I know five white people who did -- and some I may not know they did. We had several African American girls get pregnant in middle school and high school. All of them had their baby and didn't get pregnant again until they were ready. I know it all has to do with what is acceptable in their culture. White women that I know tend to be more self-centered, and the African-American ladies and Latina ladies I know have a strong feeling about family. They have family who will stand with them to help them through the unexpected pregnancy. Instead of seeing a new life as a "burden", it's seen as a joy. -- Now, this is all coming from my experience. Not anything I've studied or been taught. I only know what I know about the community that surrounds me. Things may be different in another city or state. But, the area where I live is just as I described here.

So, to summarize: "unwanted" pregnancies that end in abortion are often seen as an intrusion and a burden. Women who are so self-centered that they don't have room in their life for a baby or to let the baby be adopted are generally selfish and don't think of the needs of others. Women who have the baby even though it can be a hardship for them tend to be more community-minded and empathetic.

I consider abortions to be murder. I feel bad for women who have had miscarriages because they already viewed the pregnancy as their child. I can't make everyone accept my opinion, and I don't try to force other people to listen to my viewpoint on it. But I have been asked by a friend who had a surprise pregnancy what she should do. I told her I would never advise her to do anything I wouldn't do. She had her baby and he's now 4 years old. She is absolutely charmed by her son and is thankful she didn't have the abortion that everyone advised her to do. She knew if she went full-term that she wouldn't want to give up her baby, and that's why she is raising her son. It's the only way he could be guaranteed a home that would give him love.

Answer 2

An abortion is a planned action on the womans part. An abortion takes place because the woman does not want a child, medical reasons, or from sexual crimes she has become pregnant.
A miscarriage is a tragic loss for parents that want a child or have chosen to have a child. A miscarriage is not planned nor welcome.
Unfortunatly a lot of people dont consider a miscarriage the death of a child. This is wrong. The parents grieve as much as if the child had already been born. To not acknowledge their grief is pure ignorance. If people would think about it like this. Your Grandmother or Grandfather that you love and are close to passes away at the age of 95. Should we tell you not to grieve for them because they have lived a wonderful life? A death of anyone that you love whether it is an unborn child or an adult over 100 years old is heartbreaking for the loved ones involved.
PS. Scott Peterson was charged with the death of an unborn baby based on the fact that the baby could have survived if born at the time in normal circumstances. Meaning that the baby was viable outside of the mothers womb on the date that the mother was killed.
EDIT
Woman were given the right by law to choose whether or not to terminate a pregnancy. However the law does put limits as to how far along in a pregnancy the woman can be in order to have a legal abortion. Scott Peterson murded his wife therefore killing his unborn son in the process. Had Mrs. Peterson gone into premature labor and given birth to the baby the baby could have survived. This is how they determined murder. If the baby could not have survived outside of the womb it is highly unlikely that he would have been charged with murder of his unborn son. As previous case studies show, And as for abortion I am not for or against it. I however believe that the law should be updated. If there is legimate reasoning for an abortion than so be it. Even if the reasoning is as simple as the mother does not want the child. I however do not think that abortion should be used as birth control. I also believe that the father should have a say so in the matter. It took two people to create this child it should be both of their decision. If the mother does not want the child the father should have the right to say she has to carry the child and then turn the child over to him. It is not fair that a Woman has all of the decision in this matter. If she chooses to keep the child even if the father does not want the child he is still held legally responsible for the child

Answer 3

Well if the person wants the baby and has a miscarriage it becomes a grieving matter, because its a life they wanted and felt they were ready for. An abortion is a personal decision and maybe they didn't want the baby or felt they could care fore it and felt going with the abortion method was better for them.....it all depends on the individual as far a grieving. because i can't say all don't grieve, because i made a decision once in my life to have an abortion but after the abortion i grieved and it was and still is hard on me emotionally. Hope that helped!!!!!!

Answer 4

well i am not sure if this is the answer to you question but here goes most women choose abortion as a form of birth control they love the act of sex but do not want to deal w/the consequences or the pregnancy could be from being raped
i know a lot of young girls dont want to let their parents down by first being sexually active so a baby most definitely couldnt enter the picture for its proof of sexual activity i feel that if young and old alike do not wish to have a baby they need to double protect themselves when committing the sexual act a condom alone wont do it there are suppositories that a woman can insert right before sex that will fight & kill sperm & the virus on contact in case the condom breaks leaks etc but i am a firm beliver that abstainence is the only sure protection
another thing i believe is that if you do not wish to have a baby by the person that has you all hot and horny then stay away its just the hors moaning (hormones) you have control over your hormones not any one else so i suggest people need to really think about the consequences of a sexual act with anybody even if a woman says she is on the pill dont trust her or the pill cover your a _ _ (cya) then that would cut down on the unwanted pregnancies/abortions people need to think beyond the genitalia hope this was at least helpful ;-)
((((((bbh))))) big bear hug to you

Answer 5

A mother who has a miscarriage most likely wanted the baby. It is the death of a dream and a future. A woman who has an abortion did not want the child and sees the child as a hinderance to her future or something she can't deal with. So, the mother's emotional attachment is what comes into play here.

Why the law gives mothers the right to kill their babies and not fathers is because the law recognizes the mother's choice in these situations, not the father's. IThe mother is the one who has to carry the child and be pregnant, so maybe that's why the law gives the mother the sole choice in this issue.

Answer 6

it makes no sense to me either. maybe because miscarriages are accidental? i dont really know what to think. i consider abortion a taking of life, but it is a decision that the mother must make for herself. Maybe miscarriages cause more pain because it is someone else taking the life of your baby. does that make sense?

Answer 7

Settled Law: Rove vs. Wade

Answer 8

Well if someone has a miscarriage they intended to carry the baby to full-term. If someone has an abortion they did not want the baby.

Answer 9

An abortion is the voluntary loss of a baby, miscarriage is not.

Answer 10

a very good question!!!
death is death. Abortion is murder of a baby.