I find that alot of good men my age have 1) never been married and want children or 2) were married, and spouse didn't want children so they divorced. I am unable to have more children do to have my tubes severed for medical reasons after having my own children, and now am finding it difficult to find a decent man to remarry, esp. since I already have children, this seems to be a turn off. What do I do to attract a good man who doesn't need these things. Most of the men that want children fall for me anyways and will date me, but deep down, I know it bothers them if we were to get married and it does make me feel uncomfortable knowing that that is what they would want.
Help please!!!
2007-10-22 18:33:49 · 7 answers · asked by Time4Tivo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Silly girl, not all men want children of their own! There is a guy out there for you , but while you are looking, remember that the kids always come first. The kids needs have to be met before you embark on a man hunt. If you have satisfied this, then keep looking. Sounds like you are in a big hurry to find a man to marry. In this case, the harder you look , the less you will find. Devote more time and energy to your kids, and look for him casually. Beware of Mr.Perfect who may show up, have a great interest in your kids, make you feel relaxed, then get what he wants..be sure he`s not using the kids to get to you, if u know what I mean.
Be selective, and above all , be patient so you don`t make the same mistake twice. Set a good example for your youngsters.
2007-10-22 18:42:09 · answer #1 · answered by I tell it like it is 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to stop being concerned about the fact that you can't have children because that fact alone can ruin a date. There are a lot of men who have children from a previous marriage or even no children who will see you as a perfect wife and accept the fact that you can't have any more unless you make them uncomfortable being around you because you are uncomfortable about that fact. Build up your self esteem and concentrate on the good things about yourself and you will meet the right person who will accept you as you are. think of how many children Brad Pitt has and they are all adopted so none are his - but I don't think he is available at the moment:) The good men want a good wife regardless of whether they can have children or not so don't be uncomfortable, just be yourself.
2007-10-22 18:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years ago I was faced with the same scenario.
I am divorced, already had children and will not have more; most woman I was meeting either wanted to start a family or were not interested in a serious relationship. I personally could not attach myself to a woman that had no children and wanted children because I felt it would be unfair to her and she would probably resent me for it one day.
Hang in there you will find your match; I did. If anything hopefully this will encourage you to find a suitable match; someone that has reached the same point in life as you did.
There comes a point in life when we are no longer teenagers; we learn from past experiences (hopefully) and we should choose more carefully. Maybe you are finding it more difficult this time around because you are being more selective.
Trust your senses and it will all work itself out
2007-10-22 18:50:31 · answer #3 · answered by Frenchy-68 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a "SPECIAL" man to accept someone else's children in their lives. A blended family is very difficult. The best you can hope for is they become friends. At some point what you will hear is " you can't tell me what to do...your not my father". When a man decides to be with you he has to accept the whole package ... not just you. It's an adjustment for everyone. Also it depends on the reason for the divorce. If you were cheating on your spouse then the relationship already starts with no trust because you already cheated on one.
2007-10-22 23:03:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say good man. Good man will love you for who you are, for your honesty, for your commitment. Please bare in mind that a lot of Good man out there are in your situation. Married, divorce and have kids, and who doesn't want anymore. This good man will want to take you and your gang as his OWN family. Believe me, a lot of man out there wants a family so they can feel whole. You just have to look at the right place for that Good man. Just be patient. Oh, one more thing, when you found a Good man, try trusting him if he say, " It's ok, darling, i love you for who you are." If he says that, girl you are on home run.
2007-10-22 20:30:21 · answer #5 · answered by bundy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of men who don't have children.
Find a really good man. Date him for awhile so you know he really likes/loves you. Then become a sex goddess.
No condoms needed :)
2007-10-22 19:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by KayV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men don't want damaged goods.
2007-10-22 18:42:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋