2007-10-22 17:33:01 · 40 answers · asked by shottareds 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How long have you been married? How long have you felt this way? If there are children involved, let's just rule out divorce right away. Perhaps you're simply stuck in a rut - do something really nice for him and see how he responds. And when I say really nice, I mean something that will blow his mind. All marriages go through peaks and valleys.
Also, I have to STRONGLY disagree with those who are telling you to tell him how you feel. It won't help, and it may do irreversible damage to your relationship. Would you want him to say that to you? Because I guarantee, if you've been married for any length of time, he's had the same feeling about you. Sometimes it's just smarter to keep your mouth shut.
2007-10-22 17:38:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Buy the book: THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate...by Gary Chapman.
Though not knowing your personal situation, most people don't have the "in love" hormone phenomenon going on anymore because they've gotten comfortable and secure in their ways. Many people don't feel "in love" anymore because their spouse is not meeting their emotional needs. Communication needs to be made between the couple so that each person knows their spouse's "love language" and can create a loving environment for the other. You need to identify what "floats your boat." Be it quality time, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, or words of affirmation.
I'm not a reader, and it was hard to get started, but it's very easy reading. The concept is so simple yet sooo profound. It's saved many a marriage. I could go on and on...just read the book!
2007-10-22 17:46:00 · answer #2 · answered by TrixieStix 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were you ever in love with him? If so then here's my theory on it. If you were able to fall in love once, then it can surely happen again. If he's a decent man who deserves you then you should take your vows to heart and try anything and everything to get back to that point.
Love is a very tricky thing. Alot of time people just get bored with where they are in life. I don't know all of your circumstances but there's lots of ways to finding that love again. That special place you once were in. Spend more quality time together, laugh at silly things, communicate (that's the biggest key), go out just the two of you. If none of that sounds appealing or doesn't work, then maybe counsiling would help. Either way, it's not fair that you're unhappy and it's not fair for him to be with someone who isn't in love with him. I hope you the best! Good Luck.
2007-10-22 17:41:40 · answer #3 · answered by BeLLa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean you love him but your not "in" love with him...oh wait I think I get it... Ok first of all I would like you to know that whatever people write should be suggestions for you... don't base you decision on what we write but on what you feel... ok try counseling, maybe your marriage is missing that extra spice it had at first... if you have children, fight through hell and high water to stay together, unless he's a bad dude (abusive, etc.) your children, if you have any, need a father around... try to work things out... there are too many divorces in this world as it is... talk to him, tell him how you feel... maybe you need a short seperation so that you get a chance to miss him but just try to leave divorce as a very last resource... God bless you with this and good luck...
2007-10-22 17:39:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Accept it. It happens. After a while of being married for some people it happens sooner for others later, after a while, the intense "in love " feeling goes away and is replaced by genuine caring, unselfish love. It is a natural way of things. I have to say though it is not one that I like. I liked the "in love" feeling more but am getting used to the just loving aspect.
2007-10-22 21:01:16 · answer #5 · answered by bssd12000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are married, you committed to spend your life together, for better or worse, so give it some time & effort. Marriage sometimes goes thru these stages, but if you still love him, that's a good thing. Hang in there. Providing you're not completely miserable & living in an abusive or unhealthy situation, it will get better! Have some dates, some alone time, reconnect & remember why you fell in love with & married this person. It's worth a try! Good luck to ya, hun!
2007-10-22 17:41:04 · answer #6 · answered by sweet pea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you be a bit more specific such as why do you feel this way what are you lacking in your marriage and do you think it can be overcome? Then start from there before you take big steps. Talk with him clearly!! do not put stuff out there and he needs to read between the lines how about counseling or speaking with a pastor? Think things through clearly you are still in love with him but what is wrong you may need to seek counseling alone to see why you feel this way.
2007-10-22 18:06:52 · answer #7 · answered by mc52132000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Real love is nothing like what you see in movies. Real love is being content with the other, accepting the whole person as he is, no questions asked.
"Love, when it's a decision, makes it solid, makes it a commitment, makes it more lasting and more real. You can feel that you can be in love 20 million times in a day, but when you decide to be in love, you can only decide to be in love w/ one."
2007-10-22 18:00:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every marriage goes though peaks and valleys of love and romantic feelings. Id say just ride it out and try to look at the things you love about him and not the things you dont. maybe a change of perspective before you hurt his feelings in a way that may be ireversable
2007-10-22 17:51:43 · answer #9 · answered by lion_hawk7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes being "in love" comes & goes...so if you do love your husband, then I say that's a good thing. Hang in there! Try some new things to spice up your love life & bring passion back.
2007-10-22 17:36:37 · answer #10 · answered by SuziQ211 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋