Inspired by Guns Fan's question: what does being a "real man" mean to you?

Question

Is it a bad thing to teach a boy about empathy and about healthy attachments?

Guns Fan: Seriously? NEVER be emotional? Men have emotions. Having emotions is a human thing. Are you saying a man should not express them? Or only certain ones? Like, is it o.k. for men to show anger, disappointment, or irritation? And if so, is it not also o.k. for a man to show love, compassion, empathy? What about grief, sadness? Which are "o.k." and which emotions are "not o.k." to show?

Celtish: you SO "had me" with your answer until I read the "like a woman" part. Why'd ya have to spoil such an excellent answer with those three words? lol!

Answer 1

I saw this poem in a film once and I thought it was pretty good description of what a man should be.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Answer 2

Arizona's offense had been overachieving, and the Diamondbacks are now 6-10 against the superior teams in the Central and East. Last year was a fluke. Colorado got hot at the right time, but they weren't a great team. Arizona scored 20 fewer runs than they allowed and still managed to make the playoffs. Some NL East and Central teams underachieved. But the NL West is still the weakest division in the NL, and the 2008 Diamondbacks look just a little too similar to the 2005 and 2006 Padres, don't they? San Diego had good pitching in those years, leading the league with a 3.87 ERA in 2006. But their offense was lacking, and they lost (badly) in the NLDS both years. Arizona's offense was terrible last year, and it still is. They scored a lot of runs early, but they are coming back to Earth. They do have great pitching, but... so did the 2006 Padres. Maybe D-backs fans remembered that we've seen this before.

Answer 3

I don't know exactly what it means to be a 'real man', but I am fed up of reading feminist columns in the media telling me what THEIR definition of a 'real man' is.

As for emotions, I've stuggled most of most life trying to keep mine under full control... I (personally, not all men by any stretch) seem to be a very emotional guy.

When I was told of my mother's condition - I cried nearly all day long... Thankfully I was home-alone (except for my baby daughter) so it wasn't anyone could mock - but that day I cried like a baby and for perhaps the first time in many years, I even prayed sincerely.

My Sister was in an abusive relationship in her past and I was there to help her - I left an abusive relationship too and she's been here to help me.

I've stepped into a fight to pull idiots apart, and my so has my Sister.

I can't precisely define a real man - when I've seen my female family members act similarly to myself.

I know I'm real though - and I know I'm a man. So, maybe I can define myself as my own person instead?

Answer 4

A real man is one who deals with Responsibility, well...Responsibly. He's smart and wise, (two very different things,)enough that he's the guy people turn to for advice and even comfort.

He's brave enough to do what scares him when he has to and cautious to inderstand that fear has a purpose.

He doesn't cry easily, but isn't ashamed when he does. And the flag or a Disney Movie can mist him up.

But more than anything else, he doesn't overreact. He doesn't confuse hysteria with Courage. He knows that keeping your head works beter than screaming. He knows that Integrity is worth the price, because no matter how embarrassing a revelation is--he can take it like a man. And there's a big advantage to be gained when even the people who hate you, trust you. He knows that most problems will solve themselves and to concentrate on the ones that won't.

He's not "Macho." Flashy isn't his style. He knows how to be heard without raising his voice and he doesn't talk as much as he listens. He's what the Jews call, "Mensch," solid, capable, reliable. He fights only when he has to--and then, it's just another job.

Answer 5

Being a real man is being able to view life through the eyes of a woman. Share and hold emotions with tears or without. Being true to ourselves without any gender to set the way. Act as though a man is both female and male as a unit of love.

Answer 6

@ guns fan: Well if you can't teach them to get emotional, then you will contradict your teaching of "respect" wouldn't you? If they don't know what emotions is? What makes you think they will be respectful towards others who are expressing their emotions? The only results you will get is a robot or a mannequin with no emotional expressions.

@questioner: The only real man would be a man that can fill the shoes of my father. I haven't met one yet. But, I've settled for way less than a real man. I'm glad I'm not with him anymore.

Answer 7

Men need to show emotions to! But also need to be able to face adversity and work through it. There is nothing wrong with a man who cries and other guys who say there is are the ones who aren't real men because they are insecure with themselves and need to grow up!

Answer 8

Not constantly complaining about the little trivial things. Never showing weakness in public. Being courteous to women, even the misandric feministic ones. Having a sense of pride, and never backing down from a valid challenge.

Not being like Guns_Fan. Nothing personal man.

Having and showing emotions is good, they are what makes us human, it's what we do with those emotions and how we show them that's important. Empathy, definately, that's a good ability to have.

Answer 9

John Wayne, there's a man! I never worry about being a man. I am! Did I get scared in 'Nam, maybe cry, a little? Show me someone who didn't, I'll show you a liar! I've always stood up for what I believed in, helped everyone I can, take on bullies in a heart beat. I believe in life, women are my equal, and love. A friend of mine has shown me something about being a man, lately. The way he plays with his kids. This is a great, big, bruiser of a man, who used to collect money for a loanshark,(hey, he was young!) He would fight at the drop of a hat! Now he's Dad! Treats his son with respect, tells him he loves him,(and his daughter), all the time. Never, ever spanks his children, put's them in time out,(usually if they get to actin' up, too much, he just gives them a look,.......that's it! Dad gave me that look!) We,(him, his wife, and I), went to a bar, to play pool, and have a beer for his birthday. He doesn't drink, I don't either, he just thought it would be kinda' special. Some young kid,(23), mouthed off to a big biker dude,(we're biker's too). The big biker grabbed the kid by the neck, picked him up, put him against the wall. My friend walked over, and cleaned out 6 dudes by himself! I didn't even have a chance to get up! Point? Same guy who treats his children with love, will stand up for what's right! Respect, treat others as you would want to be treated, be honorable! Live life to the fullest, never worry about being a man, and tell your children what's in your heart,TODAY, tommorrow might never come!

Answer 10

a real man is someone doesn't turn to definitions when it comes his turn to make a decision about being a man. he's the one who does the right thing becuase it's right and not because it proves something about who he thinks he should be.