I think I hate my dad?

Question

My parents are in the middle of a divorce, and yesterday night my dad packed up his bags and left us.
He's never really been much of a dad, and I barely ever saw him because he always came home late at night.
I don't even remember him coming on any vacations with us.
He was always watching TV or working.
I found out over the Summer that this is his 3rd marriage, and also I've found out a lot of other stuff.
I feel like I really hate him for leaving us and never being a real dad....
I don't know...
How can I get rid of my hatred?
I know it's not good for me and it can cause me stress, especially since I just switched schools.
I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

Honey that is a normal reaction. I hated my mom after she left but the whole point is that you should try to listen to both sides of the story if there are 2. If it was for no reason thats wrong but if he had a reason for going you should hear it. And the reason he doesnt act like a real dad is probably because he never had a dad to model his behavior after.
Other than that you should go to a counselor and talk about it that made me feel a bit better about it.
Love ya!

Answer 2

Just remember that you can't choose your parents. You get what you get and sometimes nobody would ever choose them. Try to do well in school and be helpful to your Mom. Remember life is tough for her right now and she doesn't need you adding to her problems. The hatred for your Dad will be less every year when you realize that he is a selfish person that should have never been a Dad in the first place. Good luck.

Answer 3

If this is his third marriage, then he is not your real father so it is alright to dislike him and not want him around but to hate him only eats you up inside. the best thing that you can do is to support your mother and make sure that she knows how you feel. You don't mention your real father here so I suspect that your mother has low self esteem perhaps and made a mistake marrying him as well so that that broke up and then she ended up with another loser. Normally, parents support their children but i this case perhaps you can support her. First, tell her how you feel and perhaps get her to do things with you to take her mind off of him. tell her you both need new clothes and go shopping together and tell her how good she looks when she picks something out. Have a girls night out and go to dinner and a movie. Perhaps you can get involved in something in school where she can go to cheer you on. get her to help you with school work and then tell her how smart she is, and so on.
One thing that you have to be aware of is that often, depending upon your age, girls who are going through end up looking for older men as a father substitute and end up being hurt in the long run so be cautious there.
she should get a divorce and perhaps start dating soon to build up her self esteem but be her friend as well as child and tell her honestly what you think of the new guy and keep reminding her that she will find someone better for you both.
I wish you both a lot of luck and a world of happiness!!

Answer 4

I think the ONLY way you are going to have closure with this is if you calmly and MATURELY confront your dad and let him know IN A MATURE FASHION exactly how you feel about the type of dad he has been----do NOT tell him what kind of husband because that is NOT your business to tell... but you CAN tell him that you feel like you never really had a dad and that you would LIKE him to BE one before it's too late....let the decision be HIS, but as soon as you let him know CALMLY how you feel, it will take a LOT of stress off you.... I KNOW because I HAD a dad like that...and it DID bother me until we sat and talked...as ADULTS one day.

Answer 5

My daughter hated her mom when her mom walked out. They had a few good fights. I told my daughter, if you don't like your mom that's ok but always be polite and respectful. I'll say the same thing to you, I only say that because he is your dad and you will need him one of these days, don't build any walls between the two of you. Good Luck

Answer 6

Take a breather
It's perfectly normal to feel this way under these conditions.

You need to talk with your dad, let him know you are hurt and how you feel. I hope you will be pleasantly surprised.

Answer 7

you can't help it if you really are bugged by him, i don't know what else to say, my dad did alot of stuff like that too, even though it bugged me what he did, i still love him cause he is my dad.

Answer 8

your dad isn't going to change.....accept any time or emotions that he gives you and fill your life with friends and activities the rest of the time.....don't let his failure to be a good dad bring you down

Answer 9

*hugs*