My friends husband beats her, besides from the police what can she do, by the way she is with law enforcement?

Question

By the way, she and her husband are in policing agencies so, there you have, what would you do, think AL Green and Grits! Gritball!, its a slow revenge, she is well aware of her rights regarding prosecution but it isnt that easy when you work in the county remember how dangerous leaving is, so be gentle in you response, and if your a smart a zz, I dont think it'll really create anything more than laughter

Answer 1

Leaving a dangerous situation is never easy. Some women take years to walk out and even then it can be difficult. Suggest to your friend to seek counseling at either Turning Point or the Haven. These two organizations (in Michigan) will give her the therapy she needs, understand her current position, but not push her to make any rash decisions. Within time, if she chooses to leave, they will be there for her through the process. The therapy should be free and extremely confidential. Be a supportive friend. Do not push for her to decide on what do to, just take the time to be there and listen to her.

Answer 2

If he really beats her and she wants to leave him, there are agencies that can help. She shouldn't stay in a dangerous environment, and will need all the support she can get.
As for revenge, when I separated from my violent, abusive ex, I sent him a dead rat in the post, knowing he was terrified of rats and mice! Nasty, eh?
I don't think revenge is the answer, but getting out of an abusive relationship always is, and even more so if children are involved, or they can learn to take on the roles of abuser and abused!
Do encourage her to take that brave step, but ultimately she will only be able to do it when she feels ready. Just letting her know you'll help and support her will give her that extra bit of confidence, and strength.
It really isn't that easy to leave someone like that, they have a hold on you and have broken your confidence, isolated you and made you feel unworthy any very lucky to have them, and they make you feel totally dependant on them!
It may seem mad to stay even after the first punch, but the abuse has started even before that, and it really is a case of them brain-washing you in a way!
Good look to you and your friend. With a good friend like you, I'm sure she'll get through it!

Answer 3

Being in Law Enforcement, your friend has all the resources for contacting the right agencies for help. The law does not exempt the husband for wrong doing just because he is in policing. He'll just have an easier time covering up what he is doing.
Many women have left without their husbands knowing that they left until they return home. By then she would be in the hands of those who are able to help her. She knows he is using fear to keep her there. So, she has a choice, live with him in fear or fear leaving. Which is the greatest evil. PS. If she is able to set up some kind of divice to have him recorded, of course without his knowledge, she'd have a really good chance for self-defense with the prosecution. Today they have so many recording machines you wouldn't know it was in the house.

Answer 4

FIrst, she needs to contact an attorney who can advise her as to her rights regarding money, home, and children. Second, she needs to put some $$$ in an account he knows nothing about but is quickly accessible in an emergency. Third, she needs to have the list of all social agencies in the area that might be able to assist her, including women's shelters, and keep that list hidden (men who are abusers can get very angry if they think their woman is hatching a plan to leave them) until she is ready to leave.

A women's shelter would be able to help her. They can assist her to gather things together and get an escape plan. They can hide her from him in a safehouse while she works on a restraining order. Usually these can be issued in short order because of the nature of the complaint, until a hearing can be heard on all issues. I am assuming she has made complaints before against him, and these should be taken into consideration as evidence of his history. I would hope there are not children involved, because there it gets sticky, but she can take them with her too (have her take them when he's at work to the safehouse), but I wouldn't surface until there is an order of custody drawn up that prevents him from taking the kids anywhere, and it is on file with the schools.

Answer 5

Have your friend carefully and quietly stash money for her escape. Everytime she goes to the store, get an exta $20. If the bill is $44.78, make the check or debit for $64.78. Stash the $20. When she has a little money saved, she should call the Rape & Abuse crisis center in her city and go there with her children. Call her parents and relatives and tell them that she is safe but do not tell them where she is. They will take care of the court orders. Tell her to be strong because she will be doing what is best for her and her children.

Answer 6

You are right, this is a sticky situation, but that doesn't make it any less dangerous. I know that all police agencies have Internal Affairs so that someone can police the police. I don't know if she has access to IA, but if she does, that is where I would start. I can say from experience that it seems abusers that are in law enforcement seem so much more dangerous because they know the system and have friends that won't break the code of silence. She may not have many options and it may come down to going to someone in the department that she trusts, reporting him, finding the support and protection she needs and getting out. Find a way to take away his power, because abusers thrive on power. If you take away their power, they are nothing. For him, it sounds like his power comes from the badge. Find a way to take away his badge. Someone has to listen. Keep reporting until someone does. Please, even if it means going to a shelter, to a friends, hiding in a motel, whatever it takes. Ask for police protection. Go to whoever you have to in order to get out before he kills you. I respect the fact that leaving is dangerous, but at some point you have to take a chance and stand up . That is part of taking away his power. Like I said, Internal Affairs, his boss, your boss, someone has to listen. Keep a written record of the abuse, dates, times, what he does, no matter how small. If he gets physical, take pictures, go to a doctor, make a report. Do whatever you have to do. In the end,it will be worth it and hopefully you will have put him out of commission. I wish you the best. If you need to talk please feel free to email me at [e-mail] Remember, you are a strong, beautiful woman who deserves to be treated with respect and dignity and who deserves to feel safe in her own home with her spouse. You deserve to be happy, healthy, and safe. Please, please find a way. If you are willing to go to any lengths, there is a way.

Answer 7

She needs to be able to have no fear and leave the relationship. have her talk to her supervisor but do not give to much information if she can not trust him or her. But ask for a transfer. You being a friend need to let her know that no matter what she decides that you will help her. But you need to help her leave the situation. With both of them being in the fiekd of law enforcement they both should have an understanding on what can happen. Keep her in your prayers.

Answer 8

why is leaving so dangerous? there isnt anyone that she can trust to help her? have her take pics and get all the evidence she needs to take to a lawyer to help her if the police wont help her, there has to be someone on the force that will help her out..this is a tough situation, maybe the only way out is self defense but make sure she has all the evidence,

Answer 9

Wow, she is in a very tough spot. She needs to plan her leaving very carefully and take measures to make sure she is safe. If there are kids she needs to contact the local domestic violence hot line. They do have safe houses that she can go to. She needs support, from her family and friends. It is a very scary thing to leave an abusive relationship - but she can do it. She just needs to be fearless. I wish her all the best

Answer 10

Record the beatings . You hang on to them for her just in case she ends up missing . People in law enforcement are worse then the public . The power goes to there head and they believe they are above the law . At the same time they will put some poor guy in jail because he looked cross eyed at his wife .