My husband has cheated not sure how many times. Sex is ok with him, but I don't trust him and so, I can't get into it. Don't want to divorce, we can get along. More like room mates. I have tried to rekindle the flame, but he doesn't seem to listen to what I need. I don't know what to do. I'm not really sure he would care if I cheated, then it would give him an excuse. I'm so confused. HELP! If you want you can e-mail me through yahoo if you don't want to post.
2007-10-22 15:55:41 · 14 answers · asked by Christina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Love is just the emotion. Marriage is a legal contract between two people to meet all promised obligations of each other . If you get divorced, you are making a new contract for the responsibilities that you both have to uphold now that you have kids, without the emotional obligations to each other.
As long as you let him do what he wants, he won't take responsibility for his actions, and you are devalued because you don't have enough power to kick his *** like he needs. He's using you like a cheap maid and nanny. Make him pay for it. He also owes you back pay. Make him keep the house and pay you half. It's just a liability you don't need.
2007-10-22 16:11:38 · answer #1 · answered by auntiegrav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't drag yourself to his level by cheating. If you're thinking about it because you miss the affection & attention your husband used to give you, it won't be worth it. Also, if you're only considering it to get revenge, the only person who will be hurt will be you. For some reason, men think its okay to cheat on their wives, but if the wife does it, he does not forgive her & will never let her forget it. It could also hurt you if you do decide to file for a divorce where your children & their custody is concerned. Stay strong and pray your way through it the best you can. Try your best to forgive him, no matter how much he has hurt you or you'll only be filled with hatred and bitterness. If all else fails, write him a love letter telling him what you miss in your relationship as well as what you love about him, get a sitter for the entire night & plan a nice romantic night for 2. If that works, plan a date night once a week.
2007-10-22 23:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by yp_sharon_greenbrier 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend whos husband cheated on her a few years ago and fell in love with his mistriss. Literally, denying nothing he fell in love and saw her frequently not caring about his wife at all. She eventually began cheating on him with one of my other friends and cries about that now that her husband and her worked things out. They're marriage is still very rocky though because nothing was ever truly worked out between them. So many lies and deception should never be in any relationship, especially marriage. You could cheat and would probably regret it later...in the end you will either divorce after putting your children through a world of pain or get help. If you could I would suggest counseling if only to open the lines of communication. You have to start somewhere.
2007-10-22 23:04:21 · answer #3 · answered by Jordan 24 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce. He's not serious about the relationship and you can't trust him so there's no point in staying. Don't stay because of your children. You could actually be doing more harm than good.
2007-10-22 23:09:23 · answer #4 · answered by Chantay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why cheat and build up your bad karma, and know yourself in your heart for a betraying, selfish, cheater? Since you know he cheats, why not just discuss having an open marriage and be done with it?
Otherwise go your separate ways because roommates can be had w/o lying, cheating, and betraying people you are supposed to love. Keeping a spouse as a roommate is the epitome of "settling"
2007-10-22 23:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since you are trying to fix things...have you tried to figure out what he needs? Maybe he's not just cheating because he's a jerk...though its a possiblity. If this is the case its better the children see that you have respect for yourself and leave.
2007-10-22 23:19:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of cheating I would suggest you go ahead and divorce each other and if you want live as roommates but by staying and cheating you are going to teach your kids it is ok to engage in that behavior.
2007-10-22 23:00:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men can talk a lot of BS, but when it's put into action, it can spur them into action. So, I can't really see how you can imagine spending the next 20-50 years with a roommate, but it's your choice.
However, tell him what you just posted, how you need to have certain needs met and he doesn't flip your switch anymore, if he's cool with it, suggest an open marriage and see what he says.
2007-10-22 23:02:03 · answer #8 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you don't cheat if you're seriously at this point you need to move on and do the decent thing, get a divorce and find someone right for you,don't become an adulterer
2007-10-22 22:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by blackdeath0223 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont cheat,if its not working for u even though u have kids move on.Find someone u will be happy with cause if u dont even trust him then ur not gonna be happy
2007-10-22 23:01:44 · answer #10 · answered by sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋