Explain this behavior?

Question

Lets say theres a man who rarely speaks with women. Claims to have a grudge against women and his own mother. He most of the time treats both sexes with respect yet he seems to have focused on one woman and is constantly belittling and trying to put her down/bully her. She was always kind to him for the most part but he seems to take out his agression on her, why do you think he focuses on one particular woman to do this to and why is he doing this to her?

Answer 1

Perhaps it's a dominance issue, or something he does to feel better about himself. He may not do it consciously. Maybe he has self-confidence issues, and belittling this woman makes him feel superior. She's a "safe" target because she does not fight back and is consistently kind to him. Without knowing why he has a grudge against women and his mother, it's a bit hard to say for certain. Perhaps this woman reminds him of his mother? Or maybe she reminds him of the way he wishes his mother would have treated him when he was small, so he is passive-aggressive because he is acting out his vengeance on the memory of his mother? Or maybe he just lacks self-control and gets to behave like a child and act out against this woman because, again, she is safe and kind and will not argue with or punish him. Once he is done with his tantrum, he returns to behaving in a more socially acceptable manner. I have heard that some women play the role of a victim and that abusers can pick these women out and keep them handy for that reason (as told by a group of men in domestic violence/rape/etc. rehabilitation). Unfortunately I did not get to learn what specific traits these women exhibited or projected, but from what you have said, I would not be surprised if this woman did not share some of these tendencies.

Answer 2

Going with the OCD occasion... while ailment comes around they gained't get unwell because of the fact of what might fairly be intense hand washing (no longer a conventional OCD habit, yet a particularly common one). If the ailment develop into deadly and we did no longer have a treatment, the OCDs with this habit would be the survivors. In different words merely because of the fact this is considered a disease in at present's society does not propose it hasn't or can't be useful for survival. provided that i do no longer think of it could somewhat be termed maladaptive habit. you need to additionally evaluate that genetics are actually not the sole motives of subject concerns they could be precipitated via the ecosystem. Even then it nevertheless develops as a reaction that still has survival because of the fact the main suitable objective. working example a guy or woman raised in a antagonistic ecosystem might strengthen ADHD on account this is useful in such an ecosystem. Phobias are in many cases brought about via annoying activities - a guy or woman friends the object of concern, including a door, with the annoying adventure, and then the fear develops. it somewhat is a survival device. on a similar time as doorways could be considered an irrational phobia, the actual objective of the workings of a phobia is to guard you from the annoying, probable existence-threatening adventure. the fear basically takes the form of concern of doorways on account which you, no remember if consciously or subconsciously, associate doorways with the trauma.

Answer 3

For whatever reason, he feels "safe" and "secure" releasing his pent up negative feelings toward this particular woman. Perhaps it could be because she allows him to do so...she accepts this behavior, thinks she understands it, and forgives it. (Perhaps she should not accept it, but she does.) Perhaps he knows that no matter how he treats her, she will stick around because she cares about him. He doesn't know how to relate well to women. He could be testing her...he could be trying to find out how much she will take, and using this as a "yardstick"- a measuring tool, for how much he perceives she "cares" about him (or loves him). If she sticks around through all that, "she must really care." It's sad, though, because if she does put up with it, it won't stop. The behavior will escalate and get worse over time. Eventually, he'll probably end up abusing her in some way. She probably suffers low self-esteem herself, and thinks that this behavior stems from him caring about her, instead of realizing where it really comes from. So she stays, he stays, and eventually, something's going to give, and someone's going to get badly hurt, be it psychologically, emotionally, or physically- and it's likely to be her. In essence, both he and she are not 100% "psychologically healthy", both have issues that draw them together and keep them together, but this is not a healthy match.

Answer 4

Because she lets him. He obviously is afraid of women's power and feels angry about his attraction to them so he puts down one that he cares for but keeps her around or is around her even though he feels the inclination to be mean. Men who have problems with their mothers are dangerous in relationships. The mother could have been two types of personalities, 1. Either overbearing and domineering 2 Or, weak and easily intimidated by men. If she was the first type as he was growing up he grew to resent her. If she is the second type he feels resentment to women who don't know their place. Either way, he's bad news and needs deep counselling. If you are a woman don't try to figure him out, get rid of him before he gets rid of your self-esteem. If you are a man don't pick up his habits and see him for the weak person he is. If you are his friend try to help but watch out or his ire will come against you and who needs that?

If you are the man you are asking about then at least you are trying to get help by innocently asking. Go to a therapist and be as honest as you have been here. It may take awhile but perhaps you can heal and see that women are essential to life just as men are and continue to not only treat them with respect but also to treat yourself with respect by not belittling others. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Because people like this despise weakness in others and will go after a weaker person like a shark tearing open a bleeding seal. Being nicer to him will not make him nicer to you. He sees you as a spineless jellyfish he can toss around like a rag doll. He doesn't treat other people this way because they wouldn't stand for it. They would tell him to shove it. This guy says he has problems with women. He is the only one who can change, if he wants to. You cannot do it for him. The more loving you try to be, the more pathetic you will be in his eyes. Stand up to him or leave him. There is no other way.

Answer 6

Sorry to tell you this, but Mike T has a point. You let him! Instead of asserting boundaries you apparently don't have, you are busily attempting to placate this behavior through some form of justification. The behavior is never justified, and your behavior is even more so immature. But, you're not unique. This is a symptom prevalent with many of the women here who keep asking for explanations to their experience of evil. The explanation is you don't have the will or personal fortitude to confront it and declare it for what it is, EVIL.

Just take a look at this question I have asked, and try answering it. (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071020054713AAyxfM2&r=w)

And then, after you've come up with some lame excuse to explain how compassionate you are, go and read the best answer to this question I posted. (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArrjoVFZTYqn0v2Xg36iKXLty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071017022759AAIr8qy)

Hopefully, hearing it from a woman might shake the rest of you up into thinking about this effectively. Instead of trying to open your wombs to birth new men from the ones who failed to become so.

Shingoshi Dao

Answer 7

Three things 1. He likes said woman. 2. He has had a bad experience with women and said woman reminds him of said experience. 3. Said woman just plain gets on his nerves.

Maybe the woman in question should stand up for herself. Regardless of his reasons. No one has to be somebody's punching bag.

Answer 8

It's about mother, but since he's afraid of her, a weaker female has to pay.
He needs a smack, and probably so does mother.

Answer 9

Because she lets him, and she doesn't tell him she won't put up with his crap anymore.

Act like a doormat, and you're bound to get some sh*t scraped on you.

Answer 10

Because she takes abuse. She should get rid of the idiot. She is setting herself up for trouble.
Mary