we have one other child , been married a few months own our home and my husband makes decent salary . He forced me to have an abortion about six months a go I became pregnant both times on b/c . He says he will leave , kill himself etc. He thinks it is okay for a womens body to undergo abortion over and over . How do i make him understand this is not the answer again . I do not know what to do I am a student and I do not work. I am thinking about going along with it and dumping him when I graduate college.
2007-10-22 14:09:19 · 26 answers · asked by mizpreston23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is emotionally abusing you. He's controlling you in any way he can think of. If he doesn't want children it's called a vasectomy. You say he forced you to have an abortion the first time? Did he drag you into the doctor, force you to sign the papers and hold you down on the examining table? I think not. You made the decision because of the EMOTIONAL ABUSE he was putting you through. He will not kill himself!! He may leave you, but if you ask me you'd be better off without his selfish body hanging around and telling you how to live your life. There are so many things you can do to make it on your own with your children. Dump him now, get grants for school, free daycare through the school you attend, alimony forever, half of his retirement, and child support until the kids are through college. You are entitled to all of that. Get on with your life, respect yourself, love your children, and be free and happy.
By the way...some female needs to do her homework...the more abortions a woman has, the more chances she has of having miscarriages.
2007-10-22 14:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by Country 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Don't fight the feeling, let him get the abortion if that's what he wants. If he gets it, it won't hurt you a bit. How dare he require that you put your body through that type of trauma. The same body that he claims to love, and he wants you to do something like that again! You need to switch up on your method of birth control. Why doesn't he get a vasectomy? If you are going to go along with it, then don't complain, if I were you, I would try to make the best of a bad situation. No man could ever have me get rid of a child I was carrying whether he walked out or not.
2007-10-22 14:19:00 · answer #2 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all - I am a pro-rights person and have no problem with abortion when done for a good reason. The key to your question is that it is YOUR body and YOUR decision - not his. I can understand you both mutually agreeing to it once. To ask you to do it a second time is wrong if it is against your will. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. He is showing no regard for your feelings or physical health. I am not sure I would wait until you graduate. to dump him. He is NOT looking out for your feeling or your health. He sounds like an immature and selfish boy. ( Not a man.)
2007-10-22 14:23:53 · answer #3 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is apparent that your husband doesn't want the responsibility of having another child. Since this is the case then you should demand that he wears a condom. You can still get pregnant if you are taking birth control pills. Also it is your body, no one can force you to tamper with your body.
Please give the fetus a chance to grow into full infant and give it life. You don't have to keep the baby. They're many people who would like to adopt, and honestly you can make money as well. In the name of God don't get any more abortion for the sake you and the child. Adoption. God bless.
2007-10-22 14:24:46 · answer #4 · answered by tony 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's a very personal choice and yours to make. If you want more children eventually, I'd be concerned multiple abortions would hamper your ability to carry a pregnancy to term down the road.
Also, look into changing your b/c because apparently it's not working for you. Get on a different method, or add a backup such as spermacide and/or condoms in addition to whatever you may be using for yourself.
I can understand why he wouldn't want another kid if you've just been married a few months, and you're in school on top of that...however, the pregnancy happened so must be dealt with.
Do what's best for you. You are the one that must live with the decision.
2007-10-22 14:15:53 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh please, how the hell did you not use birth control the second time? Honestly, are you both stupid? Contraception just does not fail that often, so my guess is you were having unprotected sex.
Oh well, if you don't want an abortion, don't have one, but don't think for a second that having more than one abortion is any more dangerous than giving birth even once, so you don't have that excuse. Childbirth is at least 10 times more likely to cause mental illness (post partum onset), cause fertility damage (affecting your chances of getting pregnant in the future) and kill you. Yes, abortion is not without it's risks, but it is almost always safer for your body to abort than to give birth.
Anyways, so your mistake aside, yes, sure use him and then dump him when you finish school. Sounds like you're an upstanding citizen.
2007-10-22 14:25:15 · answer #6 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
As husband and wife you both need to make an agreement on what to do but however its your body. I don't believe in abortion. Carry it and give it up for adoption before killing it. With a husband like that , I would have to KICK him to the curb.I hope your choice is a good one for your unborn child and for yourself. Have NO regrets so think hard before making your final decision. GOOD LUCK!
2007-10-22 14:15:18 · answer #7 · answered by Tracy G 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want an abortion don't have one, tell your husband if he doesn't want anymore children get a vasectomy, he doesn't seem like a mentally healthy person, who would say I'll kill myself because his wife is pregnant? I would "abort" this marriage now, he would have to take care of you and your other child, and you must have family or friends that would help until you are done school.
2007-10-22 14:12:29 · answer #8 · answered by nomo 4 · 8⤊ 0⤋
You need to have your doctor talk to him about how many medical issues can happen to a woman that has multipule abortions in a short amount of time.
I would tell him no and he does not want the baby then he can leave. Then when he does file for divorce and take him for everything!
2007-10-22 14:14:34 · answer #9 · answered by Spring 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why do you guys not use protection??? That is not right and it sounds like you two should wait and grow up a bit. I say get on birth control. Also why are you placing the blame on him, you are the one caring the baby and should be old enough to know right and wrong. I say just grow up and quit having kids till your stable emotionally...
2007-10-22 14:54:43 · answer #10 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋