2007-10-22 12:54:46 · 39 answers · asked by ELEN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, you can. I have been married for almost 10 years... and I still love or feel love for my ex-boyfriend. My x and I broke up in 1992... that's 15 years ago.
2007-10-22 12:57:19 · answer #1 · answered by iwish4love 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You can love two at the same time but I do not believe it is the same type of love. It could be lust or fantasy or a combination of the two. When you have been with someone for twenty years, a deeper love builds that is not simple like lust or a flash in the pan love affair. Many people think they have found love only to later admit that it was just something they built up in their own mind based on fantasy or a need for something that they are currently not getting and want. I would not risk the love built over 20 years for some love at first sight situation.
2007-10-22 13:00:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think so and for people to confuse the situation and compare your love for your parent's and your boy friend or your 1st born child to any that follow is immature and ridiculous.
What you feel for the new person is NOT love it is lust .Read below.
The start of a new relationship has the lust lasting usually about 9 to 15 month's if there arent to many stress issues like money , kid's , ex partners so on and so forth.
By the 2nd year your still lusting , but you have more admiration and pride in your chosen partner.
When you reach the 3 year mark , your lust is fading into comfortability , you respect your spouse more and the honour and pride of knowing they are yours needs to be shown more in public then before .Your devotion to your spouse has set in about this time.
By the 4th year it's love and I mean true blown full love.A lot of people confuse lust with love and thats what they base their feelings and emotions on.
Love is about committment , trust , honesty , loyalty , devotion , admiration , the ability to be true to the spouse chosen without 2nd guessing or wondering what if.Love is about the comfortability and acceptance of life as it bring's you peace and happiness and harmony , it's about not feeling the need to get fine jewelry , cars , boats , houses , or going out for romantic dinner's that cost more then the couch you sit on at home to eat pizza.
Love is about accepting one's flaws and mistake's and being able to forgive .Love is about alot of thing's , but only love grown from true faith in the belief of love can bring everything I have listed.
Unfortunetly in today's society couple's never reach this level of love.
So no not possible your just feeling lost and alone because you and your spouse of 20 years have hit the comfortability stage and if you truely were "In Love" with your spouse of 20 years , the 2nd person wouldnt even get a look in.
2007-10-22 13:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can. Cos it happened to me after 19 years. Loved them in totally different ways. My 19 year relationship is sadly over now cos couldn't get the other out of my head or heart.
A choice had to be made and it was the hardest choice ever. Good luck but do it for the right reasons, I chose love over income and lifestyle and I'm proud of that.
2007-10-23 10:39:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may think you can but ask yourself this question.
Being with the new person is exciting and different and it makes you feel younger. It puts a smile on your face knowing that someone else wants you.
But be careful or you could loose the one person who knows you so well and trusts you and who has stayed with you.
What do you have in common with each of them?
You will have to choose which one in the end and this could break you in two, my advice is make your mind up and stay with only one. I have councilled so many people in the past with this same problem and I can assure you it only ends in tears.........................I wish you well.
2007-10-22 13:05:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if all parties know and agree to this. Otherwise you are hiding something from someone you claim to love, and you are showing your own lack of love for them by being willing to risk hurting them. Therefore in this case you are *not* really loving two people at the same time.
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2007-10-22 12:58:15 · answer #6 · answered by GCB-TO 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I've done it & it's tragic. I ended up leaving my marriage & living with the soulmate I should've met years before. My ex had a terrible time, and I felt guilty for years. It wasn't until I heard that he was OK, that I felt "clean" again. I then married my soulmate. We've been together 15 years now.
Think hard. I gave up a lot.
By the way, what is this, Cowgirl Town?
2007-10-22 13:21:53 · answer #7 · answered by Winterskye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i think you can. i am in the same situation right now also!!! yes i am confused and don't know what to do cause there are kids involved. yep so the answer to your question is yes u can love 2 at the same time. good luck to ya!!!! if u ever want to talk about this (Email) me and we can share stories.
2007-10-22 13:05:45 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the lust comment.I do feel as though you can love two at the same time.but one has grown old.So,now you have turned into best friends comanions.whereas the other one is new and you have butteflies and things are exciting.
You have to remember all relationships eventually have problems and it is hard work you have to get through it all and have mutual respect.(such as you dont want him cheating on you why do it to him?)
good luck!!
2007-10-22 12:58:39 · answer #9 · answered by hugsandhissyfits 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes you can but its not healthy. And besides if one finds out about the other one then you have none? Whats better? Good luck Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-10-22 12:58:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋