My psychologist flirts with me?

Question

I'm about 98% sure that my therapist flirts with me.
He's told me on more than one occasion that I'm "very beautiful" and jokes about me getting hit on and people finding me attractive, among other things
I know about transference and I honestly don't think this is the case because I am not attracted to him at all
How would I know for sure if he is or isn't flirting with me? Am I just being paranoid?

Answer 1

A psychologist should NEVER say to a patient that they are "very beautiful."

Saying that to a patient could NEVER be therapeutic. There is no excuse for him to waste your time and money, to hear that kind of nonsense.

I wouldn't go to one more session. I wouldn't report him, or make him wrong in any way. Just insist on a new one. And don't explain it to the psychologist either.

Unfortunately, many men are attracted to fields like dentests, doctors, and psychologists, where they have a sort of power and control over their patients, and who abuse that power in all sorts of screwed up ways. Your job now is to protect yourself from this loser.

Answer 2

There is a syndrome about this - like having a crush on a teacher in your teens - she is the authority figure and you are the vulnerable person - it is unprofessional of her to exploit that relationship if she is doing so. Be realistic - the age gap means the odds of anything real are low - and you are more in fantasy land - if you are in therapy then there is a reason why you are there??? You could be misinterpreting - ultimately,your only way of knowing is to ask - though that might kaibosh the professional relationship - if you are not uncomfortable then perhaps it is not so much a problem - but it is hardly conducive to any therapy - get some perspective - either you are seeing this person for medical help - or you fancy them.....if she was not your psychologist would you still feel the same? If so,then wait for the treatment to be over and then determine whether you'd made a mistake or whether she showed interest - again do you really expect a 30 year gap to amount to anything - or are you just fantasising?

Answer 3

Validate your feelings. Don't second guess yourself. That's one of the big things you learn in therapy, at least with a good therapist. If you feel it that strongly it's probably true. If you trust your therapist, confront him about it. If he admits it there may be potential to make progress. If he turns it around on you(says you're imagining things), you may be right not to trust him. And if you can't trust him then progress in therapy will be difficult, and maybe it's time to consider a different therapist as this is unprofessional behavior.

Answer 4

Ask him.

Let him know that it feels like he's being inappropriate and flirting with you.

If it makes you uncomfortable-ask to see another therapist in the practice-if its a one person office then go to someone else.

If he is flirting-its against every ethical guideline for him to do so. You are paying him to be professional and help you get better-if he's abusing that-then he's in the wrong.

I hope you find someone who's willing to look beyond your appearance and help you with whatever your struggles are.

Peace,
Dwight

Answer 5

Don't think there is a "litmus test" for flirting, but by what you said I get the feeling that he may be over-stepping boundries. I do feel that his usefullness to you as a therapist has at the least been compromised.

Answer 6

If you truley have no feelings for him try at all costs to drop hints and statements making it clear that you don't like him and don't want him.Don't provoke him try to make it clear that you want to keep it professional with him if you have a boyfriend mention him constantly.Or you could transfer to a married psycologist or a female one.



-good luck

Answer 7

Well Im just guessing here but I would say that you are not paranoid...It sounds like he is definitely hitting on you and in that case it would probably be wise for you to find another doc soon....That is not at all healthy especially in a clinical setting.....

Answer 8

Everyone of these answerers have given great and worthy advice. Listen up.

Answer 9

Transference is from the patient onto the doctor. If you want to stay with this person then take someone else with you to the sessions.

Answer 10

just ask!
i've done that a hundred and ten times. i mean im an 8th grader but sometimes i feel weird and then i get a friend to just call the call up and he says yes or no.
idk
ur dision