my son and his fiancee broke up 2 months ago. they hurt each other emotionally. i love this girl and was deeply saddened by their break-up.
she stalked him for almost a month. (to the point i was getting concerned)
now i find out they are getting back together and i think it's a HUGE mistake.
other than being supportive and asking them to take it slow, is it wise to state my concerns?
2007-10-22 11:44:43 · 24 answers · asked by frostbite 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
You can voice your concerns but I doubt it will do much good. My mom hated my ex-husband and she told me over and over again not to marry him, she even refused to attend the wedding but I didn't listen, I had to learn the hard way. She even told me that if she were to watch me marry this guy, it would be the equivalent of watching me get hit by a car.
I'm sure it's difficult to watch your children do something you know isn't good for them but as an adult, they will make their own decisions regardless of what you think.
2007-10-22 11:49:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
At 18.
2007-10-22 11:48:11 · answer #2 · answered by subprimelendor 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see no reason not to have an adult conversation with them, letting them both know that the break and later events affected you as well, and that you may need time to be able to regain the closeness you once felt for the girlfriend.
But as for trying to change their future together, any move in that direction would alienate both of them, and I am sure you don't want that.
2007-10-22 11:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Puzzler 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be supportive, they are old enough to know what are they doing and what they want, and perhaps it's a huge mistake, but don't get involved for the sake of your relationship with your son. Sometimes we take advice as a form of criticism, and you could be blame if does not work again. just stay out of it.
2007-10-22 11:53:51 · answer #4 · answered by Torero 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a parent of two adult children, sometimes I've learned the less I say the better. I state my opinion and then drop it. The more I say the further I push them in the other direction. You just have to hope and pray they make the best choices.
2007-10-22 12:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by Vintage-Inspired 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wise to state your concerns, but if you stated concerns previously and they weren't addressed, maybe you should keep your mouth closed this time. A lesson is better learned the hard way.
2007-10-22 11:51:46 · answer #6 · answered by jaeda_dog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a parent of adult children , i think you know that when you gave birth to your son, that he was only going to be with you on borrowed time, This means that you as his mother has done a good job to get him to the adult stage of his life , When he becomes this adult , , He has to start to make decisions for him self , and this is one . i believe that as his Mother , yes you should be be their , to help him , but only in the back ground , , you see what you have here is two adults , , what they have to do is act like two adults , so the word they have got to be useing now is COMMUNICATION between them , , and they must try and sort this out for them selves , Yes i know what you are thinking , right now , "you are saying well this is my son , i am talking about , but you know your son cannot expect you to be his nurse maid for life , , lets face it , you must give them both the freedom to try sort this out themselves , good luck to them both and to you and family
2007-10-22 23:41:03 · answer #7 · answered by Tranquilty 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you've said all you can say. honestly, i just went through the same thing with my youngest son... struggled with him the whole time after the break up... i was even the one who had to tell him she'd cheated on him... because it was told to me by a very reliable source... blah, blah, then come to find out my son and his former fiancee are 'talking' again...for your own sake try and distance yourself. we all have to let go sometime...hope Ur okay.
2007-10-22 20:50:12 · answer #8 · answered by drape_sylvan 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tough one Frosty. It will be hard to say nothing but if you unload on them they could end up getting married and never forget what you said. No win. I would have to bite my tongue even though I didn't approve and hope time will take care of it. Good luck :)
2007-10-22 11:52:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi..I love your icon! You said the child is grown so if he is legal age there isn`t much you can do other than what you said. Sometimes we have to see our child get hurt in order for them to grow in certain areas. Good luck!!
2007-10-22 11:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by heather h 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋