I also take care of his 4 kids. 13, 10, 9, 7. I proposed to him on his birthday because I felt waiting for him would be a loss. We talked about marriage and children a few times, and he said he doesn't want any more kids because of what the ex-wife has put him through. The more talking we did and confiding in each other, he has changed his mind and will give me one child since I am childless. He says he loves me very much and we will get married ONE DAY. Well I am 25 and one day is not good enough for me. I want to be married and a want one child. Don't you think I deserve it? I mean think about it, I have no kids and I faithfully take care of his...(He's 33)
2007-10-22 11:44:03 · 28 answers · asked by jaeda_dog 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Jaeda , do yourself a favour honey , get up off the computer , walk into your bedroom , open the closet , grab your suitcase , place it on the bed , open it , go to your drawer's and start packing.
While I fully understand on a financial level that bringing a 5th child even if it is only a half sibling could put a strain on a relationship , I do not understand how a man could sit back and use a woman as a baby sitter , house cleaner , chef , somebody to wash their clothes and share intimate sex with and not give them the respect of marriage.
I asked both of my husband's to marry me , the 1st was the father of my 4 older children and he had no ex wife .The 2nd had been burnt by marriage and didnt like the idea of marriage until I persuaded him to marry because our son deserved to have married parents (man what a BS reason) , anyways.
3 years is a long time as the saying goes "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" , you deserve better , you deserve a man who love 's and respect's you enough to give you his last name , and no limit's on how many children you choose to bring into this crazy mixed up world.
If he hasnt agreed to a set wedding date say by December 30th , then leave honey because he's 33 and they get just more stubborn as the years roll in , take it from somebody who lived it.
2007-10-22 12:24:52 · answer #1 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to know if he is still in love with you or not. You can get used to a person and think you are in love so that's the first thing. Talk to him about how you feel and what your expectations are. If he feels nagged or unhappy in any way I suggest you become a little bit tougher, let him feel that you are an independent, strong woman, and tell him that you do not want to force him into anything.
In my opinion only, leave him if that's what he needs. That will give him time to think. Does he want to lose you? Can he be without you? He might realizes how amazing you are and he'd not want to let you go and he will reevaluate what he wants.
If he genuinely wants children, you will see it on him. He won't just agree so you guys can stay together. You will know.
In my opinion you are an amazing woman who truly cares about him and does anything to make it work with him. He has to fight for you too. And yes you do deserve children! Good luck sweetie
2007-10-22 12:13:15 · answer #2 · answered by jj 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you would think he would know you care about and for his kids and would love you so much for that that he would want to make you happy by marrying you and having one more child. he has balked at this.
now you know. after three years, you did not get what you want, but !!!!!!!!!!! he still gets a free wife and nanny for his kids. sorry, you are not getting a deal here, he is, because you moved in and gave too much before getting anything from him, he may have no respect for you at all.
tell him you have to take a break and move out. let him deal with you not being there. there are better deals out there for you than a divorced guy with 4 kids who wont give an inch for you. 3 years is 2 years 6 months too long. you dont !! have forever to drift along and waste your young fun dating years on someone who may just be using you....with your unwise cooperation. after all, you are the one doing this. it wouldnt work for me.
2007-10-22 13:37:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the guy a break. He already has 4.
Do you have any idea how much it costs to raise 1 child these days? Approximately $500 thousand dollars from birth to the time they are 18.
Why don't you find someone who doesn't have any kids and wants them?
2007-10-22 11:52:23 · answer #4 · answered by Evol 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He has it good, someone that acts like a wife and takes care of his kids without the added bonus of being married. He already has four children. LOOK do not waste your time. You are young and stop wasting your time with him. He is not taking you seriously, so move on. You are only 25. He has a lot of baggage with him.
2007-10-22 12:01:15 · answer #5 · answered by E C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think this guy doesn't love you as much as he thinks. he knows that you want a husband and a child and yet he just sits around waiting for what? he has issues but if he truly loves you he'll do whatever it takes to make happy. it's hard to let go of this relationship esp. you're not only involve with him, there 4 more kids too but you have to think about yourself too, if you're not happy anymore you should try to move on with your life and i hope you'll find the best person for you who's willing to give everything to you.
2007-10-22 12:02:10 · answer #6 · answered by isla 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What's up with the have to be married? It sounds as though you are already living the life of a married couple; why do you need the paper? If you really love each other, the paper shouldn't matter. Last I knew you can still have a baby without being married. Lighten up or you are going to push him away. I know, some of you are going to say he needs to show his commitment but living with someone is a huge commitment in itself. If it is meant to be then it will happen one day.
2007-10-22 12:00:49 · answer #7 · answered by AuntShellShell 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Thre comes a point when you must ask yourself " How long am I going to wait for what I want? and how long am I going to allow someone else to make that descision for me?" When you get there ask him give me a timeline or Im walking and mean it. As long as he is getting to call all the shots about your life why would he give in to your wants your still gonna be there taking care of him and his stuff, when you decide how important your life goals are to you thats when you'll get what you want either with him or someone else.
2007-10-22 12:11:15 · answer #8 · answered by pinkleo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know you are wasting your time with this guy. God has a plan for you and it is not to be this man sexual sinning partner. You are shacking up and you know why it is called shacking up? Because the foundation of your home is subject to crumble, just like a shack. You could have a mansion and husband but you decide to live in a shack with a sinner.He is not going to marry you!
2007-10-22 14:12:36 · answer #9 · answered by mudslide_23511 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't marry you because he has everything he wants and needs without it and YOU have handed it to him on a silver platter. You have CHOSEN to give up your life for this guy and now you want to whine about it. He's 33, he doesn't WANT to get married and have more kids obviously...Why SHOULD he when he has you taking care of everything for HIM.
2007-10-22 12:41:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋