2007-10-22 11:25:00 · 15 answers · asked by LUCKY3 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Cheating in life...
Not necessarily in an intimate relationship...
2007-10-22 11:25:49 · update #1
The short answer is that "cheating" is a perception, and it's easy to think that someone else might be cheating when you don't see the difference between yourself and them, and yet they're doing better than you are. You don't understand what you could be doing better, so it must be something that they're hiding, and if it weren't cheating then they wouldn't have to hide it.
Let's define "cheating". If we think of most things as some kind of game, with status as the reward, then we have to also figure out what the rules are to the game. Your rules may not exactly match my rules. Anything that my rules allow, but yours don't, could be considered cheating. If it's a formal game where all the rules are laid out in advance, then you can readily identify when someone is cheating.
In most cases, the rules are pretty much open and not generally agreed upon. For answering Yahoo Answers, for instance, you might ask yourself if voting for your friend's answers (even if you don't think that they're the best) is fair. In some ways it's skewing things in favor of answers that may not really be the best, and the theoretical objective is to let the best answers float to the top. But the system certainly allows it, and anything that is allowed is "fair", even if it's not particularly ethical.
2007-10-22 11:39:02 · answer #1 · answered by Mythological Beast 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People who lie assume others lie. People who steal accuse others of stealing and people who cheat accuse others of cheating. It's a form of projection. He assumes you process things the same way he does. Also, it's reasonable to expect you to cheat since he did. From a guys perspective, it sounds like you are rather 'rules oriented' in regard to sex. it also sounds like he likes his sex life with some thrill, variety and wildness. I would bet any money he cheated BECAUSE you are so rules oriented... or you just aren't that into sex. I am not putting you down. There is nothing wrong with being very sexual nor with being non-sexual. But, the difference might be the problem. He likes things dirty, wild, kinky and NOT traditional. I would bet you do and this is why you think his sexual jokes and remarks are inappropriate. I know women that would make men like your husband blush, so there are plenty of women out there who don't have rules like you. That said. I would divorce. Sex, lack of sex, or cheating are too important to survive when things are going wrong. I assure you that he feels as bad about your view of sex as you do his cheating. I say this to point out that your incompatibility is too great and without one of you changing, it will only get worse. If he marries a wild and kinky sex animal for a wife, he will never cheat again. If you marry a man with a low libido, you will be happy. I suggest you find people with whom you are compatible.
2016-05-24 20:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they are jealous of others success. They may also be jealous of other aspects of the person, aspects which they do not possess. So its a classic strategy in a zero-sum game, i.e. "making you less makes me more," and by being the judge of others integrity, the accuser temporarily feels superior and righteous. Its petty, but it happens, and I think the true motivation of the accuser is largely subconscious.
2007-10-22 12:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by Pat K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think many angry people are just looking for targets, they may not even realize that is what they are doing. If you are just angry in general there is no specific place to put that anger. If you hurt me & I am angry, that is specific & I can approach you & deal with it. But if I have generalized anger at the world, the whole situation, etc. then there is no clear cut place to go & get closure, so anyone in my path is a likely target for this anger. There is also displaced anger. I am mad at someone or something else specific, but to be angry at them is not safe, so I project or displace my anger to someone or something else. Thanks
(((HUG)))
2007-10-22 17:19:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
because most people cheat.
for instance, in school,i always get 100's on my tests and my classmates suspect that i cheat because they cheat on their tests... but then when they see me studying during recess or in the morning they're all like "you're such a nerd, stop studying!".
they are so slow.lol
2007-10-23 08:33:52 · answer #5 · answered by ipodlady231 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they feel that
they'll always be the best
at everything so when someone
whose better at what they do come
along, thats their only explanation...
Theyre reassuring themselves
and giving themselves a false
sense of security.
2007-10-22 11:46:21 · answer #6 · answered by Boo! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here's a statistic ,, in reguards to relationships ,, If you suspect that your partner is cheating ,,,, 98% of the time it's true , doesn't seem like it could possably be that high does it ,, so if you see signs that your being cheated on ,,,leave ,,, don't give them the reason to lie,,,
2007-10-22 11:37:17 · answer #7 · answered by darkcloud 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because our egos would rather be RIGHT, even at the expense others being perceived as wrong, more than anything else!
2007-10-22 14:56:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Insecurity... Maybe their pessimistic and always jump to the worst conclusion, just because they don't want to end up getting hurt/losing.
2007-10-22 11:33:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ratters 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
because they are jealous of their lower values to the person of higher ranking
in relationships, it's just a place of mistrust and assumptions
2007-10-22 13:47:43 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋