guys,
just asking...please dont be mean to me .i am bit low this time .i just need some advice or views.
i found my boyfriend watching porn online in yuvutu and other site too.each time i found him watching he suddenly close the windows down.
i really hate it when he watch porn though...do u think guys he is bored with me now.we been together for 20 months now
.do u think i should behave myself ?but i hate it knowing him watching somewoman playing them self.
advice please.....be nice to me guys when u answer..i am so depressed at this time.and thanks for reading.
2007-10-22 11:18:41 · 19 answers · asked by queenofheart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
uh, I cant believe all these answers! no it isnt ok for him to watch it if you feel bad about it. you do not need to learn to accept it bc "guys will be guys" he has YOU to look at. It is completely disrespectful to you! If he was doing it thinking that it didnt bother you then that is ok. but once you have talked to him about how it makes you feel if he loved you and respects you he would stop. He probably isnt bored with you now but soon he will start expecting you to become the girls he sees on the porn and want to start doing those things with you (this isnt always a bad thing, but if you arent that adventurous it would be...personally me and my hubby change it up all the time) society makes women think that all men will do this and we just have to get over it. If a man is single I see nothing wrong with it but once they are commited to someone that is it. The fact is that he is getting sexual gratification from some other woman. It doesnt matter if he isnt "actually" having sex with them....he deffinitely isnt thinking about you! and that is wrong. I hope you guys can work it out! and if he isnt willing to stop for you he doesnt love you more than the porn and you should leave him and find someone who does! I know too many ppl who's husbands "sometimes" watched it within a matter of years they were addicted and no longer attracted to their wives. it really is distructive. Dont get me wrong it works well in a lot of marriages and some ppl it even helps them to get ideas etc. but if it bothers you, you will never learn to accept it and it will always be an underlying problem if he continues.
2007-10-22 12:03:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Watching is normal, natural and a reality for both genders. There are just as many women who like to look as there are men. Most of us are visual people when it comes to sex. The difference is what do we, or more specifically him, what does he do when he is stimulated after watching. Does he masturbate while watching to the point of ejaculation, or does he then turn those desires to you? If the answer is the first choice, then perhaps you need to be present while he watches so then he can take out those aggressions on you. Who knows you might even like it enough to be turned on and make it a great evening of love and romance not to mention great sex.
Let him know it's ok to watch, afterall it's better than him going to swingers clubs, strip joints or some other outlet. If he enjoys those things you might also try doing some of the things he is watching online for him in person. Do a slow strip then masturbate for him. It could be a real fun time for you both.
2007-10-22 11:58:34 · answer #2 · answered by Cliff R 4 · 1⤊ 6⤋
Don't beat yourself up and don't feel bad. He's not bored with you. This is natural and he's behaving like a TOTALLY normal guy. I used to think guys did this because I wasn't satisfying them sexually or they were losing interest. NOT TRUE. My hubby and I have a lot, and I do mean a lot of great sex. More than he's ever had in his life and he still does this. He's not a perv...he's a guy. And guys like porn. Just realize that men are very visual creatures. It's the visual that is making them excited...not that particular girl. Men have very high sex drives and think about sex a whole lot more than women. It's his way of dealing with his sex drive and expressing himself sexually. Let him know it doesn't bother you and he doesn't need to hide it and it won't feel like such a dirty little secret. Porn has been going on long before the internet...some people even consider the Kama Sutra or Arabian Nights porn. It's natural and its not going away. Just let him know you love him and keep up your end of the show in the bedroom.
2007-10-22 11:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by sweetassgal 3 · 0⤊ 8⤋
He should not be watching porn. Porn is degrading the human value of sexuality. If he likes watching porn, it could mean that he is addicted to it. Studies have shown that individuals watching porn were pulled into deeper and disgusting porn shows. The addiction wants more and more of it. Since you don't want that stuff in your home, cut the internet service to your house.
2007-10-22 11:29:43 · answer #4 · answered by Chris B 2 · 7⤊ 2⤋
Most guys watch porn no matter who they are married to. He could be married to a model and still look at porn. Men are visual creatures and they are going to look. Do not take it to heart. Now if he is watching porn and ignoring your needs then I suggest you talk to him and tell him how you feel. You can tell him that this bothers you that he is watching porn but he will just do it behind your back.
2007-10-22 11:29:32 · answer #5 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 2⤊ 6⤋
99% of men watch porn. It has nothing to do with you! Even men that are sexually satisfied do it.
I used to be you, very jealous and intimidated by men's porn watching. A suggestion, watch it with him or see if maybe the two of you can find something to watch together. Then it can be part of your relationship and you won't feel left out. Who knows maybe you'll like it.
He loves you not those women.
2007-10-22 12:42:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous 3 · 0⤊ 7⤋
Have you asked yourself why you don't like him watching it? Ask yourself how you feel when you catch him watching it. Then when you are cal talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel, you gott'a stay calm though. Ask why he looks at it. His answer will probably be something like he just likes it. Others have said it, all men do and most of the time it doesn't mean anything. I assume you don't what him hiding things from you, You need to talk with him so you can feel ok about it so he will not hide thins from you.
2007-10-22 11:31:53 · answer #7 · answered by kirk1500 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Well, if I hated it so much I would talk to him about it. I'm ok with my man watching. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it...Unless he was addicted to it!
2007-10-22 11:42:36 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Ms. Heart♥ 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You shouldnt something like that bother you. It has nothing to do with you and whether or not you are "not enough" it's just a guy thing. If it will always bother you, maybe you should tell him. Or try watching it with him. It might be something you both can get into together. But seriously, you shouldnt let something small like this bother you. He's not choosing it over you is he?
2007-10-22 11:23:29 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda 2 · 2⤊ 6⤋
i no you asked for guys but i was in the same boat i couldnt work out why my partner would wana watch someone else having sex ect....... but then i relised it is really just a mans thing im sure their is nothing wrong with you what i tried was one nite when your in the mood watch a porno together and make a night of it i dont mind watching pornos now together but i ask him not to watch them behind my back i no how you feel makes you feel worthless but it can be fun when watched together.
if your not comfortable with that then try talking to him about it but i dont no one bloke that dont watch porn
2007-10-22 11:25:37 · answer #10 · answered by jay t 1 · 0⤊ 6⤋