Me and my boyfriend Jake have been together for quite some time now. We have both talked about the future, marriage and kids etc. But today I asked him to marry me and he said no and couldn't come up with a reason why. I don't understand what i've done wrong? Is he interested in somebody else? Is he having an affair? Is he having second thoughts? Does he just not love me anymore?
2007-10-22 11:00:35 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What are you asking us for? If HE can't give you an answer...where's that leave us?
2007-10-22 11:05:03 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
It could be all of the above he can only answer this, but as a woman you should have an woman's intuition about his behaviour.
At best he is having a cold feet. Most people do.
I am not sure if the time is running out for you but today people do not have to worry that much about it.
So allow time. Or just ask him, you wrote, "Me and my boyfriend Jake have been together for quite some time now ------". So you do have this right to know what is on his mind.
Please read by article on the subject.
******************************
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By
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Build a carrier, youth comes but once take full advantage of it. Study hard, play some enjoy friendship, and then at age 30 if still unattached then try the sites like.
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jivansathii.com
2007-10-22 18:11:33 · answer #2 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you feel rejected but when things like these happen they are red flags that need to be evaluated. There could be a multitude of reasons he said no. Maybe you are more committed than he is. Maybe he is scared and not ready to make that giant leap right now, maybe later. Dating is a time to get to know someone and feel secure in the relationship. What's the rush? Enjoy your time together and get to know him even more. A commitment is made in the heart and mind not a marriage license. When you are both ready you will get married. Talk to him about it calmly. Be understanding so he can open up to you and you can find out the real reason behind him saying no. Best to you.
2007-10-22 18:09:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does love you. He isn't seeing anyone else. Here's the deal: When a man gets married, this is the single most important decision in his life. It means giving up certain freedoms and a giant life change. Your relationship is going well. You are both on the same page so far as one day wanting to get married. You've even talked about it which is a VERY difficult thing for any man to do. I remember I mentioned marriage to my boyfriend just to find out if we were on the same page. It took him 12 hours to get over it! Listen. This is a giant step for your boyfriend and he may have been on the countdown to asking you, in the first place. But he freaked when you did the asking. Marriage is something you have to let HIM do in his own time; you don't want to hold your relationship hostage and threaten to blow it's brains out if he doesn't promise to in fact one day marry you. He isn't a mind reader so he now knows that this is something you want in your life. If things are going along with no serious problems, he has discussed marriage with you and you have been dating for a while, he will ask you all on his own. He may not be ready in his own mind yet. As I stated, he may need time to adjust to the idea. Also, professional men work very hard. They want to enjoy the fruits of their labor before settling down. It doesn't mean he wants another woman. it means he just needs time. Take the pressure off. Tell him you will want this in your life someday. Let him ask you in his own time.
2007-10-22 18:17:17 · answer #4 · answered by MWestbrook 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he just felt weird being proposed to. Maybe in his heart he believes that is a man's "job". Maybe he just isn't ready for marriage, you don't say how long you have been together, quite some time for some people is 3 months and for others 3 years. You also don't mention your ages and if either of you have been married before. There are a lot of reasons he said no, and none of them may have anything to do with how he feels for you.
2007-10-22 18:05:47 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I agree with girlie girl there. I mean just because you two have talked about marriage and wanting kids does not mean he wants them right now. And besides when he is ready to get married he probably feels it is his job to ask you, not the other way around. I heard a bit off of a eddie griffin stand up act that men like to be the givers. They feel weird about recieving things. So I say don't take it all that personally if he said no. He is probably just not ready to get married at the moment and he doesn't feel right about you asking him. Probably has him feeling emasculated that you asked him and took his job away. And probably that you wear the pants in the relationship, instead of him. So I say relax, don't over analyze his rejection, just give your man time to propose when the time is right for him and he can afford the ring and house for you two.
2007-10-22 18:18:06 · answer #6 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry you had to deal with this, but you can't really worry about it. If he said no, well than he just might not be the right man for you. Or he might not have felt ready. Give it some time, let the matter rest awhile, and then talk to him about it. I hope the outcome is positive.
2007-10-22 18:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't want YOU to ask HIM. Maybe he is old fashioned and wants to be the one to ask you. What did he say when you said why not? Did he just say because I don't want to? Talk to him some more about this. Ask him if he ever wants to marry you or if this is a dead end relationship. My advice is give him some time to ask you.
2007-10-22 18:10:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My only thought on this is maybe he is feeling about tad bit old fashioned about this and won't admit it. Maybe he feels like HE should be asking you to marry him. Or maybe he thinks it's not the right time?
Try to talk to him about it and tell him how you feel- that you have concerns about your relationship. If he still doesn't want to open up and talk to you about it- then I hate to say it- but maybe it's time for you to move on. If you don't- you might miss out on a guy who really does want to spend the rest of his life with you.
Good Luck!
2007-10-22 18:09:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Words are cheap, it is action that counts.
If one can get the milk free why buy the cow.
If he loved you he would respond as saying when would be a good time to get married.
Stop giving him what you have been giving and say to him we shall continue this after we are married and whait for his response.
2007-10-22 18:19:00 · answer #10 · answered by Chris B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you ask him that is the best advice I can give you if most not want to get married becuase of something maybe he wanted to be the one to ask you to get married he might not be ready to commit to you o rmaybe you just cought him surprised who knows only he does talk to him.
2007-10-22 18:18:58 · answer #11 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋