My sister and I are very tight. She just called me and said her boyfriend proposed. She said "i love him, but I just can't decide if I want to be with him for, you know, forever. What should I do?" Well, honestly, I can't stand the guy. He complains all the time and openly insults my family. So...I could my influence to break them up...but that'd be wrong. What would you do?
2007-10-22 10:50:37 · 58 answers · asked by Rachel R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Be honest with her. Especially if she is having doubts on her own! Marriage is something you dont want to go into already feeling regretful. If you care about her and her future, talk to her about it!!
2007-10-22 10:53:41 · answer #1 · answered by Jonesy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you tell your sister she will hold you responsible for the break-up. She knows he is a cheat and yet she still wants to marry him, its her own choice to make, knowing he took advantage of you might stop the marriage but it would also create problems within your family. This all happened a very long time ago, do you think the guy has changed? Does he really want to make a go of it, be a proper husband and a father to his child? Maybe you could warn him that if he messes her around you will have NO problem telling her because you would rather she be p!ssed off with you than be treated like a fool by him.
2016-05-24 19:49:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If ur sister and u are tight she should appreciate u talking to her..
let her know how u feel.. and if he openly insults ur family that's never a good start to a relationship...
I wonder if the guy insults intentionally? or is he just not smart enough to know when he's done it..
If it is the first then ur sister s in trouble.. it s the beginning of an abusive relationship.. if he insults the family what s to stop him from doin it to her? and then progress to beating her?
or even psychologically breaking her??
However if its not intentional- then maybe talk to the guy and let him know what he does is hurtful and hopefully things will sorted bofore they turn ugly!!
Either way a lot of talking and sorting in ur future.
All the best!
2007-10-22 11:00:34 · answer #3 · answered by candy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is not ready to marry him or is unsure she should say no regardless of how you feel. What is the hurt in waiting so find out how she really feels. Being rushed or pressured into marriage will only lead to it's eventual failure.
As for how you feel about him just let her know and be honest. Also do show some regard for her feelings since you care about her. You don;t want to say things you may regret down the road and definitely don't want their relationship to cause a rift between you and your sister. In other words don't make it so she has to "choose" between you two.
Good Luck!
2007-10-22 10:55:55 · answer #4 · answered by Jeff R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her exactly what you think. If he's that way to the family, what will happen when they're married? Guys can sometimes change when they get married. I know from my aunt's experience. He started treating her differently.
Also, when I told my friend what I felt about her boyfriend she didn't breakup with him, but I know it helped her decide how she felt.
And then that same girl told her brother she didn't like his girlfriend and he started thinking about it, I know he did. He broke up with her, and I think it helps that he heard her side.
A friend of my mom's got married to this guy that everyone told her not to. He was really mean to her and now she's divorced and married to a great guy. She has a son (a friend of mine) but c'mon, it was hard on her. She should have listened. Wouldn't you rather your sister not go through anything rough? Tell her how you feel---she can decide to listen or not to listen.
2007-10-22 10:56:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well...i say tell her your opinion. is she aware that hes doing these things? that should definetly influence her decision. if she has second thoughts adn cant decide whether or not she wants to marry him, she probably shouldn't. if he's your one their shouldn't be any doubt. obviously since your her sister you do have influence on her decision. but if she decides she wants to marry him shes going to with or without your blessing. tell her how you really feel. thats what she wants to know right? sure she might feel a little hurt but ultimatly in the end she'll be glad you told her the truth. would you want someone to lie to you about something lilke that? something that affects your entire future? tell her how you feel and even if she might not listen, you'll be glad you did.
2007-10-22 11:04:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If when they get married and have a future do you think they would get along do you think that they would never get tried of each other and always love them. If she really cared about her family would she still go with him even if her insults your family tell her how you fell if you two are very tight she would accept your opinion also can you see him being apart of your family think
I hope my info was good thank you
2007-10-22 10:58:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
TELL the truth,and you owe it to her.explain to her
that he insult st the family,and once married she probably wouldn't be aloud to go visit.
Family as a unit has to have a son in law that can
join in the circle,and he would always stand outside
You don't want to see your sister hurt.From what
you told me.he's no D*****good.
You have a hard job ahead of you.
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-10-22 11:05:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your sister has doubts then sounds like she should be the one who makes the choice.Ask her to list 10 things she likes and dislikes about him.Also ask her about how she can handle a complain err all the time.If he insults your family then i would have second thoughts .Doubt that it will work out for them .Tell her to have a longer engagement so she will know for sure.
2007-10-22 11:00:51 · answer #9 · answered by mamaw2305 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth. Most likely she has seen it to and may not ant to say anything about it. Because trust me girl if you do not you are going to be living with this gut feeling in your mind/body that will never go away which is like during a holiday 'I should have told my sister and we all would not have been in this jam right now" you now what I mean. Hope this was helpful
2007-10-22 10:56:33 · answer #10 · answered by runningmachine2011 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't know if she wants to live with him forever, then she doesn't really love him. If she truly loved the guy, spending the rest of her life with him wouldn't even be an issue.
I'd tell her it's her choice. And it is--if she wants to marry him, it's her business, no matter how close the two of you are. And whether or not you like the guy, you should support your sister in her choice.
2007-10-22 10:56:23 · answer #11 · answered by Stardust 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋