What to do about his ex and her daughter?

Question

I married my cousins ex husband. Her daughter not his, was living part time with us. She is my cousin too. since there has been on going issues where the ex would come into our home and make scenes in front of the other four kids. I told her she wasn't allowed in the house anymore. The daughter stopped coming over at all. Well last week the daughter tried to commit suicide. The ex is accusing me of being the reason even though the daughter said she just wanted her mom to quit screaming at her. Someone called child protective sevices against her and she thinks it was me. She also has the daughter believing it was me. The daughter hates me. My husband is a mess. I have had to send my kids to stay with their father, because the ex has threatened our lives. Oh did I mention she has been on drugs and we can't prove it. Help I need advice. I want to just move out and stay away from it all.

Answer 1

she has threatened you. she obviously needs help so let the authorities check her out. her and her daughter both need some help. if you are worried about your family (you obviously are since you sent away the kids) then you should alert the authorities and get a protective order. let the authorities and child services get them the help they need. dont rise to anything they say and if and when they get help be prepared to forgive and help them through (you are family). in the mean time you need to talk through all of this with your husband. since this involves him as much or more as it does you then you both need to agree on what to do.

Answer 2

Im sorry to hear you are going through this im guessing since the both of you have remarried that the divorce took place a good few years ago (at least im hoping, cause if not you are all moving a little fast for your daughter to deal with things) keep in mind that grownups know bout the end of their relationship way before the kids do, so to them it feels like what? they have just got separated and they are already marrying someone else? you don't know how she is acting towards her mom and her new husband? maybe she does the same thing there and calls him all kinds too no matter what, it is difficult to know what part is your daughter speaking for herself and what part is her mom who has put all these ideas in her head what you should do is try and talk to her, take the time to do so, and not give her the time to bail out on the conversation (which is gonna be hard for the both of you) maybe take her out to a park or so and just you and her, no one else there. Try to stay as calm as possible while you talk to her and (I know it's not easy for a man) but explain to her how it makes you feel. She might not want to talk about it, but i would make it clear to her that you aren't gonna go anywhere without some kind of answer it's probably not gonna make a huge difference for now but in time and unfortunately with her only being 13 it might still take a good few years, she will realize and she will come round. Keep that attitude up with her every time she talks like that to you or your wife, tell her calmly that you don't tolerate such language and again ask her why she does it. And be firm while you do it is not easy, and there will probably be a lot of tears but im sure you will be able to work it out one day

Answer 3

First of all, nobody tries to commit suicide just because their mom isn't allowed in the house. There is obviously something much deeper than that going on with your step daughter. your husband may be willing to play the blame game because then he has someone to blame for something that was out of his control. I think the whole lot of you need family counseling. My friend is going through something similar with her boyfriend's daughter and her mother (her mom is also on drugs. The difference here, is that both the mom and the daughter have tried suicide at one time or another). Counseling helps them a lot.

Answer 4

This is hard because you are all family....No matter what that is your cousin and her daughter...From that point on you should known things would have gotten bad just by getting involve with him...You need to speak to him and let him know how you feel....You might not have done anything but you are still very much apart of the problems that is taking place...You have to decide what it is you want and how you are going to go about making the changes to fix alot of things....I hope you find the peace that you need to get through this one.....Best wishes....

Answer 5

I really believe that your cousin's ex husband is still considered FAMILY and that you shouldn't marry FAMILY. You might not have realized how hurtful that is to your cousin- and how much trouble can from it. With all the millions of people in the world- why did you have to marry your cousin's ex? I think it's just asking for D-R-A-M-A.

Answer 6

Did it ever occur to you.....although the answer is apparently not...that marrying the former husband of your cousin was bound to cause some type of problem somewhere along the line.

The only people who do this stuff come from Appalachia. Amazing....simply amazing.

Answer 7

Well first of all you need to get out of a relationship were your husbadn is being so afected by someone who is not his daughter you need to give him an altumaitume move somwhere else far with your kids and forget about everything. This is one not healthy for your kids or you or your husband you need to tell that it is not your fault becuase it isn't. She wanted to kill herself not becuase of you,

Answer 8

if she is on drugs all social services has to do is a drug test on her.. and that will be proff enough.. some drugs get out ot the system in 2 to 3 days.. others take a month.. the most common pot takes a month to get out of the blood stream.. and it goes by fat cell.. the bigger the person the longer it stays in their

Answer 9

Move far away and never reveal where you have moved to. These nuts cases you are dealing with should make you want to move today.

Answer 10

sounds like a soap opera with all the marrying in the family.