need help !! read this essay and tell me if it makes sense to you? plz this is for today!!?

Question

thank you because thats my main problem people say that whatever i write...never makes sense ...can someone tell me what its wrong..cause another problem is that english is my second language


In “Regarding The Pain Of Others” Susan Sontag discusses the impact of shocking photographs on individual viewers and on society. Throughout her passage she argues about the viewers’ perspective about shocking photographs.
According to Sontag not every shocking photographs’ messages affect people's life. The purpose of some photographs is to make the viewer relate themselves with the image. However many people have a tendency to apply the messages depicted on the photograph that most please them rather than what go against their satisfactions. In addition Sontag assures this symptoms about photographs are normal. Shocking photographs remind people a reality they don’t know or want to remember or accept as true. And truth is one of the subjects that most upsets and disappoints people. Another reason some individuals are not impressed by shocking photographs is because, they are not related to its significance or they don't believe what they're seeing. Viewers that don’t know the symbolism of a photograph restrain to value it. On the other hand people that are familiar with the photograph’s context usually tend to see it as something extraordinary with more emotional effects than those that lack knowledge of the photograph’s background.
However some shocking photographs’ effects do not decrease even if they’re not well known by the society. As Sontag says, people still look at photographs even if the photos horrified them. People require seeing shocking photographs as evidence to believe what they’re being informed about. Photographs are also shown to present events that were forgotten or were never shown to the public. At the same time Sontag argues that, shocking photographs tend to mislead or exclude information needed to understand the photo’s topic. Leading the viewer to guess, give opinion or misinterpret what he is seeing since most photographs touch several subjects.
According to Sontag shocking photographs have vital meanings for people. It reminds observers their immediate past and presents experiences .It helps the viewer visualize a special moment better, since it tells how the story occurred in the moment illustrated. Sontag also notes that shocking photographs have become part of the society because they carry memories that are symbolisms or traditions for certain cultures or societies. These memories are called collective memories. Collective memories are the pictures that make people see not only what is depicted but also to remember past events or issues related to the photo. Fortunately as Sontag says thank to art and modernism the public had made museums with the purpose of helping people to keep and refresh these memories even after death.

Answer 1

excellent, but you could always add more details to your senteces, and remember, paragraphs only have 5 sentences... if i was my english (language arts) teacher (hu is the strictest teacher in the universe) id give it an A-, B+

Answer 2

The essay makes sense, except you use a lot of the wrong words. For example "In addition Sontag assures this symptoms about photographs are normal." You should use 'these', instead of 'this'. If you went through and read it aloud, then changed the words like that, it would make more sense.
Good luck!

Answer 3

Max, Very good and informative. The only changes I'd make are in the punctuation. Otherwise, very good. Thanks for the opportunity to critique it.---Mr J

Answer 4

i LIKE IT...YOU DID GOOD!