If they tell you "Hate, little one", don't shed tears and kill, because those tears would end up drowning yourself.
If they tell you "Don't think, little one", don't obey, we enjoy ourselves more in risking knowledge.
If they tell you "Buy, little one", don't be of service, you’d sell your soul in the name of matter.
If they tell you "Kill, little one", because yes, this they could impose on you, don't kill, because by this you would annihilate yourself slowly.
If they tell you "This is the law, little one", remember: law isn’t written elsewhere if not in your heart.
If they tell you "You are crazy, little one", feel sorry for them and be proud of yourself.Crazy people are a threat only to the unjust
If they tell you "This is the truth, little one", reply to them: "The truth am I”.
2007-10-22 09:55:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
good poem i may say
IF it is not copied then yes i is really a good one
all ur feelings have poured from ur heart
i liked it
NOT JOKING
god bless u
keep ur talent running
hope i helped
please feel free to contact me
2007-10-22 10:02:12 · answer #1 · answered by friendly_guy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I like this a lot. It really sums up my own philosophy in life very neatly ... I particularly like the idea that the law is written in our own heart, found within our own values and conscience, not dictated by any higher authority. I like the conflation of "matter" with the idea of material possessions ... this is a good example of how writing in a foreign language can bring about fresh insights. The last line is outstanding too ... it reflects the Wiccan idea that the truth is not absolute, not objective, not singular, but one of many possible individual perspectives of reality ... this is a fitting end for a fine poem. I really feel they should be teaching these ideas at school! My compliments to you!
2007-10-22 17:21:56 · answer #2 · answered by Cosimo )O( 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There are some pretty major logic and grammar problems: 'those tears would end up drowning yourself' to name but one. What an awkward construction. Why, I wonder? There are any number of simpler alternatives. Have a look at the three or four tips collected here: http://pokerpulse.com/news/viewtopic.php?t=1878.
2007-10-22 17:42:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Great, but you will go further with it
if you can get it shorter...
and set up each statement so the
structures are parallel...
you almost have this.
and the last line is not the best.
2007-10-22 17:58:04 · answer #4 · answered by oldbob 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's kind of clunky, and too many abstractions are attempted, but the basic structure is appealing.
2007-10-22 17:11:39 · answer #5 · answered by damlovash 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
@editor: she's 17 and she's italian, I think she has done a great job!
2007-10-22 17:44:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
YOU HAVE TOUCHED ME SO. THIS IS TRULY WELL THOUGHT OUT. YOU ARE GETTING ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. THANKS FOR SHARING THIS. I CAN TELL YOU PUT YOUR HEART INTO IT. YOUR ENGLISH IS COMING ALONG GREAT. NEVER STOP.
YOU ROCK!
2007-10-22 18:32:39 · answer #7 · answered by KARMA IS IT THOU? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yah it is really nice but i have heard bettter...
2007-10-22 17:43:44 · answer #8 · answered by princess<33 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋